Saturday, January 15, 2011

Man Down

Detnews


1. "Don't be such a drama queen. That's why we wear cups."

2. "What do you mean you never learned to skate?"

3. "Traded to Ottawa? OK, yeah, you've earned a good cry."

4. The Wings should have known that a player named 'Howard' would spend all his time rotating on the ice and saying "Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!"

5. Gunplay on the ice is totally legal under Detroit rules.

Best of metalgarth
the sequel to "white men can't jump"... "Black Men Can't Skate". Dawn's head..blah, blah, blah

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"The ref says if he craps the puck out before the end of regulation time, we play it from where it lands."

Best of Jack Reacher
"If you look down when you skate you won't trip over an octopus next time."

Best of prince of leaves
Salei: "So, are you gonna remember now what I told you about parking in my spot?"

Best of Submariner
The dangers of a hat trick were numerous when Odd Job was a fan...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
You owe me $5. I said he couldn't block a .45 bullet.

Threadwinnerer: VInney
"Sorry Howard, the emperor says I must kill you."

Best of molson
This is how it looks when a man goes down in hockey. He'll shake it off in a minute. Now when a man goes down in soccer, he'll shake it off when he's done.

Best of Army of Dad
The Blackhawks PA guy got reprimanded for playing Godsmack's 'Crying like a Bitch' on a loop.

Best of Oiao
I wouldn't touch that puck either, after what he's doing to it.

28 comments:

metalgarth said...

the sequel to "white men can't jump"... "Black Men Can't Skate". Dawn's head..blah, blah, blah

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"The ref says if he craps the puck out before the end of regulation time, we play it from where it lands."

blue said...

"I wonder if his hernia surgery was done under CanadaCare or ObamaCare?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Buck up, man; at least you don't play soccer for a living."

Jack Reacher said...

"If you look down when you skate you won't trip over an octopus next time."

prince of leaves said...

Salei: "So, are you gonna remember now what I told you about parking in my spot?"

prince of leaves said...

Howard's narcolepsy caused frequent and awkward game delays, but new federal regulations on pro sports required that special accommodations be made.

prince of leaves said...

"The next time we hear you crack wise about 'aboot', it won't be your crotch, eh?"

Passionate Conservative said...

Salei, you dumbass! The puck goes in the net!

Submariner said...

Quick: have the trainer bring out some ice balls for his hairballs...

Submariner said...

Helm; "Da-amn! I've never seen an actual face OFF before..."

Submariner said...

The dangers of a hat trick were numerous when Odd Job was a fan...

Submariner said...

We TOLD you not to go hitting on Modano's wife, Jimmy. But did you listen? No-o-o-o-o

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Howard's gypsy heritage came in handy. He won several sizable "slip 'n fall" lawsuits before the NHL could write a disclaimer into his contract.

-OR-

The fat broad in the gray tent was the first to realize that Howard's undiagnosed addiction to masturbation had gone viral.

-OR-

Teammate Thawtbubble - You nitwit, how many times have we told you not to touch the ice with your tongue!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You owe me $5. I said he couldn't block a .45 bullet.

-OR-

Ah, man, you really can't swing a frozen dead cat around here without hitting something!

-OR-

Howard mumbles... "Did anyone get the license of that zamboni? I think my ex was driving."

Anonymous said...

"Sorry Howard, the emperor says I must kill you."

Vinney

Army of Dad said...

We're going to Chicago and Minnesota, and New York, and we're gonna win..YEEEAGH!!!

Army of Dad said...

You're supposed to use your stick to stop the puck not your...

Army of Dad said...

After Howard forgot his cup he suffered a real work stoppage.

Army of Dad said...

You suppose nationwide is on his side?

Army of Dad said...

If a hockey player can't skate off the ice after a hit he has to wear a scarlet 'P' for pussy. 'H' for hoser if he plays on a Canadian team.

jj said...

Wadda you mean Kwame's won his appeal?

JohnS1959 said...

The hockey union was successful in getting a mandatory two minute rest period rule passed this season. Unfortunately, the other team's enforcer likes to think of it as providing "nap time".

molson said...

This is how it looks when a man goes down in hockey. He'll shake it off in a minute. Now when a man goes down in soccer, he'll shake it off when he's done.

Army of Dad said...

The Blackhawks PA guy got reprimanded for playing Godsmack's 'Crying like a Bitch' on a loop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-hVZu2wxbI&feature=related

Carpe Phlogiston said...

#24 Man Up you wussy!
#35 (high pitched squeaky voice) I'll never be able to man up again... that puck broke something!

Oiao said...

I wouldn't touch that puck either, after what he's doing to it.

Steve O said...

What a wuss. Can't even take a shiv to the face.