Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I am Naughty, Naughty am I


1. Next on Mad Men, Don Draper "nails" the IBM account.

2. Gary and Wyatt soon realized that the December 1964 issue of Vogue was not the ideal template for their babe machine.

3. "Cool, an IBM 360. Too bad there's that yellow thing blocking the view," said about half the guys V the K hung out with in college.

4. ORA: "One down, four to go," said Thomas J. Watson, apocryphally.

5. This day in cyber history, 1964: Edna Loebmeyer, the office whore, becomes the first human to infect a computer with a virus.

Best of Rodney Dill
"I've been EBCDIC'ed"

Best of metalgarth
ORA: It turns out that back in the 60s, the internet wasn't made of cats, cats, cats.

Best of Vinney
The Wizard of Oz shouted, "Pay no attention to that person behind the main frame."

Best of jj
"What's computer porn and why do I have to take my clothes off?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"I could have cleaned up that Stuxnet thing, but the veil I had to wear kept jamming the disk drives."

Best of Jack Reacher
"All set. This software should be fine through 1999, and I'm sure it will all be rewritten well before then."

Best of HLam
Martha tests a prototype Full Body Scanner. Years after each of her 8 kids will be born with 3 arms, a leg, and an eye in the back of their head.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Apple introduces the new IHole - telephone, computer & outhouse - all in one!

Best of prince of leaves
ORA: All the girls at ICON found something irresistible in Proteus IV.

Best of dadoctah
...and to think, all Admiral Hopper found was a moth!

Best of jimmy
Y'all are gonna kill me, but I can't figure out which button flushes the darn thing. Which...oh, really!? Oh, is my face red!

Best of mega
The 300 baud modems were deemed sufficient to handle Internet traffic once the FCC implements Net Neutrality.

Threadwinner: Matt the K
Outtake from IBM's "Laugh-In"-inspired industrial film: "Modem?...I didn't even know'im!!!

Best of Mr Hankey
'60's porn classic - "Behind The Blue Door"

37 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

How Big Blue wins at Jeopardy

Rodney Dill said...

"I've been EBCDIC'ed"

Double the U said...

The first bug in a computer program was due to a woman. (ATDHE)

metalgarth said...

ORA

It turns out that back in the 60s, the internet wasn't made of cats, cats, cats.

dadoctah said...

Folded, spindled and mutilated.

wv: petted. Yeah. That too.

Anonymous said...

The Wizard of Oz shouted, "Pay no attention to that person behind the main frame."

Vinney

JohnS1959 said...

Hal's little sister, Mal, was the central character in the low budget pre-quel to 2001 - A Space Odyssey titled Nightmare at the DMV...

blue said...

"...and during your lunch break you can sneak in here & set the modem to vibrate!!!"

jj said...

"What's computer porn and why do I have to take my clothes off?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Nothing but 3.5 inch floppies around here, if ya know what I mean, girls."

Jack Reacher said...

"I could have cleaned up that Stuxnet thing, but the veil I had to wear kept jamming the disk drives."

Jack Reacher said...

"All set. This software should be fine through 1999, and I'm sure it will all be rewritten well before then."

HLam said...

Martha tests a prototype Full Body Scanner. Years after each of her 8 kids will be born with 3 arms, a leg, and an eye in the back of their head.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Apple introduces the new IHole - telephone, computer & outhouse - all in one!

Double the U said...

Peek-a-boo, CPU!

prince of leaves said...

ORA: All the girls at ICON found something irresistible in Proteus IV.

prince of leaves said...

Jolene demonstrates the proper use of IBM's new built-in bulletproof shield against workplace shootings.

dadoctah said...

Flo's first job out of college was in data entry, years before she landed that highly lucrative gig as spokescharacter for Progressive.

dadoctah said...

...and to think, all Admiral Hopper found was a moth!

jimmy said...

Y'all are gonna kill me, but I can't figure out which button flushes the darn thing. Which...oh, really!? Oh, is my face red!

Matt the K said...

Obligatory:

"Well here's your problem right here!"

mega said...

The 300 baud modems were deemed sufficient to handle Internet traffic once the FCC implements Net Neutrality.

mega said...

Man, I never get tired of seeing those old pix of iPhone 1.0.

mega said...

The jpeg of Edna's boobs took only 16 disks to store, but had to be reduced to 1x1 pixels.

mega said...

"Guess a number from 1 to 10"
__ 5
"Higher"
__ 8
"Lower"
__ 6
"You have won!"
__ ?

Man, I miss the days when it wasn't all about the hip hop music and fancy graphics.

Rodney Dill said...

Blew a capacitor

Matt the K said...

Outtake from IBM's "Laugh-In"-inspired industrial film:

"Modem?...I didn't even know'im!!!"

Matt the K said...

Janice was the world's first vacuum tube baby.

Matt the K said...

IBM industrial film voiceover:

"...and here we see mom-to-be Gladys Jaworski of the 9th floor secretary pool holding IBM's first Mother Board. Way to go, Gladys!"

Matt the K said...

NORAD HQ 1966: An intoxicated Evelyn Smith nearly triggers World War III when she mistakenly takes a download in the mainframe.

Matt the K said...

Fearing Batman would discover his true proclivities, Robin hid his girlfriend in the batcomputer.

Mr Hankey said...

Early outtakes from Roger Corman's version of TRON

Mr Hankey said...

'60's porn classic - "Behind The Blue Door"

Merovign said...

Oh, sure. Every time *I* open a computer all I find are dust bunnies.

Submariner said...

What was I doing? Teaching HAL to sing a song about me...

Submariner said...

Oh yeah? Kilobyte me!

Submariner said...

Just looking for a hard drive with a satisfactory capacity...



v word - rejamput - I hadn't heard it put quite that way before, but yeah, basically a repetitive rejamput...