Friday, January 21, 2011

Hillary Toasts the Butchers of Beijing

Sondra K


1. When you check into a hospital because your Viagr@ erection has lasted more than four hours, this is the picture they show you.

2. "Damn it!" Chris Matthews seethed. "I wanted to drink the president's urine from a crystal glass!"

3. All the Vulcan chicks in the universe making out will not erase this image from your mind.

4. "And now, a toast to America's most powerful woman, who achieved her great power, influential and political success completely on her own merits and not by riding on her husband's coat-tails. Here's to you, Sarah Palin."

5. "Oh sweet lord, she's getting *that* look in her eye," thought Bill. He wondered if he another self-induced a heart attack would get him out of sex again.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

Best of Submariner
Hilary toasts the non-image, floating glass in the mirror.

Best of Submariner
As I watched Hilary toast Emperor Palpatine, it struck me;
Didja ever notice how proteges tend to look like their mentors?

Best of prince of leaves
"Mr. President, you simply must try this pinot grigio...the hint of almonds makes it quite special."


Best of mega
"...and that settles the matter with John Rall. Now who was the other Whitewater judge, again?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The first woman to actually have wrinkles tattooed around her eyes for that freakish look one needs to pal around with despots and dictators.


Best of Kaptain Krude
"I expect you to die, Mr. Bond." James felt a cold chill race down his spine as the corpulent villain drained the last of her glass and turned for the door, leaving behind only her deep throaty laugh stinging in his ears.

Best of GregMan
"Mmm, nothing like drinking the distilled tears of Amerikkka's children and listening to ChiCom propaganda music to get me into the mood."

Best of Mr. Hankey
Dontcha hate it when someone who owes you lots of money shows their excessive waste right in front of you? Kind of like having a state dinner for Chinese diplomats and serving $199 a bottle wine?

36 comments:

JohnS1959 said...

"I for one welcome our new Chinese Overlords", toasted Hillary at the state dinner...

JohnS1959 said...

"Well here's pants suit in your eye", offered Hillary.

vw: viler - seriously...

Oiao said...

If she spills some on herself, does she melt like the Wicked Witch of the West?

Oiao said...

Wow. Just one glass of wine does make Hillary look better.....when its hiding her face.

Anonymous said...

"It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em' up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend, to the end of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road."


Vinney

Double the U said...

When you check into a hospital because your Viagr@ erection has lasted more than four hours, this is the picture they show you.
It doesn't get rid of the erection, you just never want to have sex or take the little blue pill again.

(BTW you need to fix statement #5)

blue said...

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, dear.

dub said...

To show her support of the Chinese visitors, Hillary shows that she too has a lot of chins.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Hil's thawt bubble; "That the problem with Chinese babies, you gorge on 'em to bursting, and STILL you're hungry again an hour later..."

Submariner said...

To the death spiral of the U.S. economy; hai!

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Not.Now! Don't let my laxative kick in. Don't let my laxative kick in. DON'T let... Sh!t!"

Submariner said...

Sheesh! Helen Thomas looked like crap even when she was 20!

Submariner said...

Here's to cyanide-dipped cigars...

blue said...

If Obama coughed up his real birth certificate 2 years ago, we would be referring to this as Madame President!

StewartIII said...

ChickaBOOMer: Caption This!
http://chickaboomer.blogspot.com/2011/01/caption-this_21.html

Dr. Doom said...

"Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia", said the Secretary of State, "but only slightly less well-known is this: Never go against a Clinton when death is on the line"!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Hey, Chinaman, ever heard the Abbott & Costello routine... "HU's on first?"

-OR-

Hu's Thawtbubble: "Hory Confrushush, these beer goggers make her rook rike the north end of a south-facing dragon!"

-OR-

Obamalama Thawtbubble: Oh good lawd, she's eyeing Hu's crotch the way Michelle looks at a bowlful of pigs knuckles.

-OR-

Ladies and gentlemen, the new covergirl for L'Oreal's line of no makeup makeup, for that day when you finally realize nothing can hide the fugly.

Anonymous said...

“Now, cycle complete, the male wildebeest returns to propagate the herd.”

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

Submariner said...

Chelsea; "Mom, your Thanksgiving toast is kinda wierding me out..."

Submariner said...

Wanna see the tool I used to fill it?

Submariner said...

Hilary toasts the non-image, floating glass in the mirror.

Submariner said...

I've seen fewer wrinkles on a Shar-Pei.

Submariner said...

As I watched Hilary toast Emperor Palpatine, it struck me;
Didja ever notice how proteges tend to look like their mentors?

prince of leaves said...

"Mr. President, you simply must try this pinot grigio...the hint of almonds makes it quite special."

prince of leaves said...

Hillary smiled before drinking deeply. Not only had the Chinese surpassed the US economically, but their cutting-edge technology eliminated the messy and possibly incriminating need to harvest her daily lifeforce supplement directly from child donors.

blue said...

This just in - Her doctor has confirmed that Hillary suffers from Ed Zactly disease...

Ed Zactly disease, what's that doctor?

That's when you face looks Ed Zactley like your ass!

mega said...

"...and that settles the matter with John Rall. Now who was the other Whitewater judge, again?"

mega said...

"Michelle says this liquid cures crows feet."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The first woman to actually have wrinkles tattooed around her eyes for that freakish look one needs to pal around with despots and dictators.

-OR-

Is it just me or do those jowls make her chin look like ventriloquist's dummy? Pity the fool who has a hand up her butt.

Anonymous said...

AIIIIEEEE - GORGA!

mega said...

"Hillary in '12 ... because it can't wait until '16". Brilliant, in that typical Dick Morris kinda way.

Kaptain Krude said...

"I expect you to die, Mr. Bond." James felt a cold chill race down his spine as the corpulent villain drained the last of her glass and turned for the door, leaving behind only her deep throaty laugh stinging in his ears.

GregMan said...

"Mmm, nothing like drinking the distilled tears of Amerikkka's children and listening to ChiCom propaganda music to get me into the mood."

Mr. Hankey said...

Dontcha hate it when someone who owes you lots of money shows their excessive waste right in front of you? Kind of like having a state dinner for Chinese diplomats and serving $199 a bottle wine?