Friday, December 17, 2010

The Stepford Gingrich





1. "Nipple clamps a little tight tonight, Mrs. Gingrich?"

2. Mrs. Gingrich is really straining to hold in that fart.

3. "Hey, Look. One of those smilin' retard kids in a crash helmet... oh wait, that's Mrs. Gingrich."

4. Newt. "Honey, you didn't just take one of Rush Limbaugh's 'Tic-Tacs' did you?"

5. Newt: "Honey, would you mind getting cancer so I can dump you and take a shot at Bristol Palin?"

Best of Jack Reacher
(Building on #3):
"Ding, fries are done!
Ding, fries are done!
I work at Burger King..."

Best of Double the U
I must kill Pahpshmir.

Mr. Hankey's ROLFCopter
...and then Newt activates the remote control vibrating sex bullet

Best of sonicfrog
ORA: Suddenly Jamie Summers heard the familiar ultra high pitch tone, the tell tale sign that Mrs. Gingrich was indeed a Fem-bot!

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Callista Gingrich just could not believe that Newt was actually introducing her to Ray Bradbury...

Best of Rodney Dill
Pelosi - not as hard to replace as we thought.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
All together now...
Where will YOU be when your laxatives kick in?

Best of molson
Looks like Newt's Christmas goose came a bit early this year.

Best of Submariner
Newt; "Well, she made the mistake of gooing to the restroom with the Sec of State. I just hope they'll come back to normal by the primaries or she'll be a liability to me."

Best of racerboy
I always wondered what a parrot on crack would look like...

Best of Dr. Doom
It is really sad when retired politicians stoop to making Enzyte commercials...

Best of Dactyl
Ha ha ha HA ha, ha ha ha HA ha, ha ha ha HA ha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
(ORA?) Um... yes

Best of prince of leaves
The last thing the impertinent MSNBC reporter saw, before the twin polarized plasma beams incinerated him in a flash of indescribable pain.

Best of dadoctah
Newt put in a lot of effort to find the whitest woman possible. And except for the unblinking stare, the surgery to correct her pink bunny eyes was a raging success.

Best of Adriane
So Newt Gingrich is Draco Malfoy's uncle ... by marriage ...

Best of GregMan
Where will you be when your LSD flashback kicks in?

30 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Excuse me...my husband said he's thinking of running for what?

Jack Reacher said...

"It's a defense mechanism. In the wild, freezing in place can confuse predators. Or just make it easy for the fat ones."

Jack Reacher said...

(Building on #3):
"Ding, fries are done!
Ding, fries are done!
I work at Burger King..."

Double the U said...

ORA:Mrs Gingrich, service for two, please.

I must kill Pahpshmir.

Mr. Hankey said...

...and then Newt activates the remote control vibating sex bullet

blue said...

"What's this Newt??? I didn't know that you are half black!!"

sonicfrog said...

ORA: Suddenly Jamie Summers heard the familiar ultra high pitch tone, the tell tale sign that Mrs. Gingrich was indeed a Fem-bot!

Ver Word: Prepl

Mr. Hankey said...

"She wore a pearl necklace....until she got married..."

sonicfrog said...

After an absence of more than a year, the "Caption This" Fem-Bots have finally returned... And in grand style too!!!

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Callista Gingrich just could not believe that Newt was actually introducing her to Ray Bradbury...

blue said...

Newt & Callisata watched in wonder as Betty White inhaled a 12 incher....

Anonymous said...

Callista does her spot on impression of the CBS eye.

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...

Pelosi - not as hard to replace as we thought.

Army of Dad said...

I guess we know where Newt's thumb is.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Callista's wishing she hadn't had quite so much tea on the ride over as she tersely whispers, "I have to go NOW, Newt!"
.
.
.
.
"Ahhhh, hell, nevermind."

-OR-

All together now...
Where will YOU be when your laxatives kick in?

molson said...

Looks like Newt's Christmas goose came a bit early this year.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Due Diligence thy name ain't NEWT"
Ignore the hecklers, dear. I didn't put much of your money in AEHI. Couple months tops, the public will forget how much I was fawning over that con artist, Gillispie.

Submariner said...

Newt; "Well, she made the mistake of gooing to the restroom with the Sec of State. I just hope they'll come back to normal by the primaries or she'll be a liability to me."

Submariner said...

No.time.To.Talk.We.Are.Late.For.Opening.Of.West.World.Dear.

racerboy said...

I always wondered what a parrot on crack would look like...

Dr. Doom said...

It is really sad when retired politicians stoop to making Enzyte commercials...

Dactyl said...

Ha ha ha HA ha, ha ha ha HA ha, ha ha ha HA ha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
(ORA?)

prince of leaves said...

The last thing the impertinent MSNBC reporter saw, before the twin polarized plasma beams incinerated him in a flash of indescribable pain.

JohnS1959 said...

Cindy Lou Who all grown up.

dadoctah said...

Newt put in a lot of effort to find the whitest woman possible. And except for the unblinking stare, the surgery to correct her pink bunny eyes was a raging success.

Rodney Dill said...

With those eyes she can see Russia from her living room too

Mr Hankey said...

Guess who is about to get a visit from Mr Hankey??

Robert said...

Is it just me or does she look kind of like Hillary?

Adriane said...

So Newt Gingrich is Draco Malfoy's uncle ... by marriage ...

GregMan said...

Where will you be when your LSD flashback kicks in?