Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Once you have seen it, you can not unsee it.



1. Actress Betty White died this week after challenging Joan Collins to a deep throat contest.

2. "Amateur," sniffed Sullivan, Frank, and Weir.

3. "That's nice," said Barbara Walters. "What else can you tell us about your marriage to Alan Luden."

4. "And when I went into the restroom at Studio 54, I saw Elton John making like this with on Peter Frampton." -- Betty White, Memoirs.

5. "Bea Arthur's was bigger."

Best of JohnS1959
Not surprisingly, Betty won the Hollywood Hot Dog Eating Championship - slamming 15 more dogs than her nearest competitor, Joey Chestnut. Betty can do anything...

Best of Rodney Dill
Hey Betty! What part of the dog did you get?

Best of flyovercountry
After 70 years, you would think Betty would not have to practice for the casting couch any more.

Best of metalgarth
15 Schnitzengruben is my limit...oh heck, 1 more

Threadwinner prince of leaves
Using a baited hot-dog bun to lure it out, Betty carefully grabbed the intestinal parasite, drew it out of her body, and released it unharmed back into the wild.

Best of dadoctah
In Hollywood, eventually *everybody* does porn.

Best of Spin
Being a Goa'uld explained why Betty White could still function at her age.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Barney looks down at James Ready and goes "Dude, you're humming like Betty White down there...you need a Snickers?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Betty's agent knew she'd finally jumped the shark when, during a lull in contract negotiations with CBS, she climbed onto the bar with what she honestly thought was a kareoke microphone.

Best of Jay Guevara
The remake of "Deep Throat" probably would have been more successful if they'd updated the cast.

Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "Two and a half men my ass - more like one that barely pleases a real woman, if you ask me..."

Best of dadoctah
Every night, Ed Asner wakes up screaming from this same dream.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"With a 90 year old body like mine, you have to do something special to get a date!!!"

28 comments:

JohnS1959 said...

Not surprisingly, Betty won the Hollywood Hot Dog Eating Championship - slamming 15 more dogs than her nearest competitor, Joey Chestnut. Betty can do anything...

Rodney Dill said...

At her age, at least, you don't have to ask if she has any Grey Poupon.

Rodney Dill said...

Hey Betty! What part of the dog did you get?

molson said...

We have a wiener!

Submariner said...

V - #5 made me spew my coffee. Classis.

Submariner said...

Betty demonstrates how much she loves dachsunds...

flyovercountry said...

After 70 years, you would think Betty would not have to practice for the casting couch any more.

blue said...

"I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Myer Weiner...."

Kaptain Krude said...

Do you like weiners? Well then, get on the subway and go to Maryland.

Army of Dad said...

Foot Long Wrong.

metalgarth said...

15 Schnitzengruben is my limit...oh heck, 1 more

Rodney Dill said...

Actually its a 24" hotdog

prince of leaves said...

Using a baited hot-dog bun to lure it out, Betty carefully grabbed the intestinal parasite, drew it out of her body, and released it unharmed back into the wild.

dadoctah said...

In Hollywood, eventually *everybody* does porn.

Spin said...

Being a Goa'uld explained why Betty White could still function at her age.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Betty had an earlier career as a peanuts & hot dog vendor at Yankee Stadium. Unable to lug a heavy warming basket, she'd stuff her cheeks and insert dogs into buns on the run. You do not want to know where she stored the peanuts.

-OR-

Unmasking Deep Throat

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Betty's Thawtbubble: This is why my marriage to Dyck Barker didn't last a year. The liar claimed his would plump when I cooked it, too!

-OR-

Betty's Thawtbubble 2: Whew, no sauerkraut. Don't want a repeat of that Hindenburg disaster. Oh the humanity!!

Mr. Hankey said...

Barney looks down at James Ready and goes "Dude, you're humming like Betty White down there...you need a Snickers?

Submariner said...

Scene at a Lake Placid open-air eatery...

Submariner said...

Looks like Betty is missin' SOTG.

Mr. Hankey said...

Betty is using her Shake Weight all wrong!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Betty's agent knew she'd finally jumped the shark when, during a lull in contract negotiations with CBS, she climbed onto the bar with what she honestly thought was a kareoke microphone.

Jay Guevara said...

The remake of "Deep Throat" probably would have been more successful if they'd updated the cast.

Submariner said...

Hey good looking; I'll be back to pick you up later!

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Two and a half men my ass - more like one that barely pleases a real woman, if you ask me..."

dadoctah said...

Every night, Ed Asner wakes up screaming from this same dream.

Anonymous said...

I found this clip of Miss Arthur's final interview with Bea discussing her career and life in her own words. I think it’s for a show called, “Lunching with a Legend.”

I'd hate for a full interview with Bea or the other legendary ladies in the clip to go unseen. I'd like to see if she final discusses her service in her final interview.

http://lunchingwithalegend.com/

Cheers,

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"With a 90 year old body like mine, you have to do something special to get a date!!!"