Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Once you have seen it, you can not unsee it.
1. Actress Betty White died this week after challenging Joan Collins to a deep throat contest.
2. "Amateur," sniffed Sullivan, Frank, and Weir.
3. "That's nice," said Barbara Walters. "What else can you tell us about your marriage to Alan Luden."
4. "And when I went into the restroom at Studio 54, I saw Elton John making like this with on Peter Frampton." -- Betty White, Memoirs.
5. "Bea Arthur's was bigger."
Best of JohnS1959
Not surprisingly, Betty won the Hollywood Hot Dog Eating Championship - slamming 15 more dogs than her nearest competitor, Joey Chestnut. Betty can do anything...
Best of Rodney Dill
Hey Betty! What part of the dog did you get?
Best of flyovercountry
After 70 years, you would think Betty would not have to practice for the casting couch any more.
Best of metalgarth
15 Schnitzengruben is my limit...oh heck, 1 more
Threadwinner prince of leaves
Using a baited hot-dog bun to lure it out, Betty carefully grabbed the intestinal parasite, drew it out of her body, and released it unharmed back into the wild.
Best of dadoctah
In Hollywood, eventually *everybody* does porn.
Best of Spin
Being a Goa'uld explained why Betty White could still function at her age.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Barney looks down at James Ready and goes "Dude, you're humming like Betty White down there...you need a Snickers?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Betty's agent knew she'd finally jumped the shark when, during a lull in contract negotiations with CBS, she climbed onto the bar with what she honestly thought was a kareoke microphone.
Best of Jay Guevara
The remake of "Deep Throat" probably would have been more successful if they'd updated the cast.
Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "Two and a half men my ass - more like one that barely pleases a real woman, if you ask me..."
Best of dadoctah
Every night, Ed Asner wakes up screaming from this same dream.
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"With a 90 year old body like mine, you have to do something special to get a date!!!"