Monday, December 20, 2010
God Rest Ye Merry, Justin Bieber
1. "How can we liberals possibly have a happy holiday when the Bush tax rates have been extended?"
2. "Holiday Cheer? We're atheists! Keep it at your own house, Christer."
3. 'Who Can Do the Best Harry Reid Impression?' is a popular Nevada parlor game.
4. Jon Stewart, Julia Duffy, and Justin Bieber synchronize their periods for the holidays.
5. "Man, those Kennedies don't take being completely out of power very well. This is the most depressing kegger ever."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
As they stare at their naked mom blatantly kissing Santa Claus, they're torn... "On one hand, mom's a slut; on the other, think of all the presents!"
Best of dadoctah
"So this year, we spirits got together and said, screw it, we'll all visit Scrooge together and get it over with by 1:30. And Jacob Marley's designated driver, so he's waiting outside in the SUV with the motor running."
Best of JohnS1959
"Billy, we are very disappointed in you", said mom sternly, "You know we are liberals and we don't use the 'C' word in this house. Now go get your Kwanza suit on".
Best of Jack Reacher
Pelosi staffers react to the news that they'll be flying commercial from now on.
Best of jj
Boy thought bubble, "Boy, this new Christmas Drink, 'Creampie Surprise' tastes awfully familiar."
Best of Vinney
Looks like they need Mister Microphone to liven up their holiday party.
Best of Submariner
No dub, it was NOT
"V.the K. in the study with a monstrously large fat roll..."
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Yea,all 3 of us are gay, what's it to you??"
Best of Mr. Hankey
The carolers stop and stare at the mother of the little crippled boy named Tiny Tim - sliently cursing her for not having an abortion.
Best of Matt the K
"Yes. What do you MEAN Jimmy here is a the result of the laboratory mating of Jake Gylenhaal and Justin Bieber?"
Best of Dr. Doom
The Johnsons knew that inviting Uncle Earl to the Christmas party was a bad idea but the unfortunate incident with the inflatable reindeer on the front lawn was absolutely the last straw...