Friday, December 31, 2010

Feed the Horse, Yum-Yum


1. Hygiene is never more important than when banging an unconscious hooker on New Year's Eve in a foreign country.

2. "I warned you that running in high heels was not the same as figure skating. Let me help you up, Mr. Weir."

3. The New Orleans take on the traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony.

4. The hooker woke up after having the strangest dream she was partying with R. Kelly.

5. Waking up in your underwear on city street after an all-night bender. A typical New Year's Eve, Mardis Gras or ... in the case of Lindsey Lohan ... Tuesday.

22 comments:

blue said...

The New Years celebration at the Fallen Prostitutes Memorial always started with the ritual "Hookers Bath".

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Clean this one up & get her over to Oprah's house"

blue said...

"Ucrainia non e bordello" translates to "Come & get it sailor".

Oiao said...

It beats drinking out of a shoe, however the aftertaste can be toung numbing.

Dactyl said...

Once again, an Eastern European woman plays dead rather than talk to Penn and Teller.

dadoctah said...

Due to a quirk in the law, authorities were only able to charge her with loitering.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Streetwalker -- FAIL

-OR-

In the Ukraine, after hardworking street whores are stripped and mugged by self-righteous bedroom whores, cheating husbands are punished by dropping currency and pouring ceremonial champagne on the victim without actually touching her.


-OR-

Coincidentally, Charlie Sheen had her in his closet.

Jack Reacher said...

Lady Ga Ga has specific needs when preparing for a show.

Jack Reacher said...

"So, Igor, you're sure champagne completely masks DNA? I have a lot riding on this, Bro."

Jack Reacher said...

'ow to speak Ukranian--Mom?

Jack Reacher said...

Just a little acid to burn away that fat roll, and Dub will finally be hers.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Performance Art?
'Twas the Night before Christmas'
...The wine on the breast of the new-fallen ho
Gave the lustre of mid-day to cobblestones below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But ukranian protesters hurling insults and jeers.

Anonymous said...

On the next No Reservations- Anthony Bourdain selects an appropriate wine to go with a prostitute.

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...

What? Who threw away a perfectly good smelly pirate hooker?

Dr. Doom said...

The Festrunk brothers strike out again...

Dr. Doom said...

"No dude", shouted Grigory, "I said pour some wine into her - not onto her!"

Dr. Doom said...

A perfect metaphor for government stimulus programs.

mpur said...

Good Lord...who is Obama bowing to now?

Matt the K said...

In Soviet Ukraine, Johns roll hooker.

Matt the K said...

In Ukraine, wiktoria sikret is beauty slipp in strit, then wekkup in Putin Limo.

Matt the K said...

A day in the life of the French Secret Service.

Matt the K said...

"And that, son, is why they are called street 'crawlers' in Kiev."