1. Before joining the TSA, Mr. Flannigan was a Roman Catholic Priest and would have gotten his ass sued over this. But as a unionized Federal employee under a Democrat president, he's like a kid in a candy factory.
2. "Please stop moaning, Mr. Sullivan.... No, I will not meet you later for coffee."
3. "Senator Craig, this is your fourth time through security today. How many flights are you on?"
4. Compared to his previous job working as a personal assistant to Rosie O'Donnell, this wasn't so bad.
5. TSA Employee Wilbur Flannigan solves the mystery of SNL's "Pat" once and for all.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Biggest pair I've ever seen, Hillary."
Best of Rodney Dill
Waddams finally finds his stapler.
Best of Army of Dad
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Unfortunately for the airport, TSA wouldn't fire Pat Down Specialist Felton just because his OCD compells him to zip and unzip every male passenger's fly 74 times before allowing them to board.
Best of Whacko
"Yes, I did used to play soccer. Why do you ask?"
Best of Jack Reacher
"Okay, there's yer problem..."
Best of Kaptain Krude
Sully had finally found his dream job.
Best of jj
Yup, you've got a pair. Guess you aren't a member of congress.
Best of metalgarth
Semi ORA: I see Joey Tribiani's tailor got a new job
Best of Jack Reacher
"The baby's crowning. Push...push!"
Best of Vinney
What is strange is at Key West International Airport passengers were tipping after body cavity searches.
Best of Rodney Dill
I for one welcome our genitalia groping overlords.
56 comments:
"So that's why they call you the 'Hanging Judge," Justice Scalia."
Bags Fly Free
"Biggest pair I've ever seen, Hillary."
During his TSA training school final exam, Edmund fails the 'Two Test Tickle' procedure.
You are now free to moan about the country.
Waddams finally finds his stapler.
Fly the Friendly Skies
"Name?"
"William Hung."
"Nope."
"We only have 20 seconds left MacGruber."
"How'dyougetthebeansabovethefrankboy?"
All your junk are belong to us.
To make TSA body seaches more palatable, agents are combining searches with prostate exams. Another benefit of Obamacare that we never knew about unless the bill was passed.
Vinney
...it's like a penis only smaller.
Ants in your pants?
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
What's in your wallet?
ORA: "Moooon river"
So that is what the Divinyls are up to nowadays.
WTF?!? Well I'll be damned, Mr. Gere, you DO have a gerbil up there! Want me to try to remove it?
-OR-
I'm not saying TSA oversteps their authority, but there's anecdotal evidence. For example, Horace forcibly makes sure every guy hangs to the right before taking a full body scan.
-OR-
Unfortunately for the airport, TSA wouldn't fire Pat Down Specialist Felton just because his OCD compells him to zip and unzip every male passenger's fly 74 times before allowing them to board.
-OR-
One place you do NOT want to be when your laxatives kick in.
Shouldn't this be a Tuesday post?
Carpe:
One place you do NOT want to be when his laxatives kick in.
There, fixed it for ya!
under ObamaCare your doctor has to send you to the airport for your x-rays and physicals
"Yes, I did used to play soccer. Why do you ask?"
"Okay, there's yer problem..."
"I said yes, Dave. You can get off your knees now."
"You know sir, I didn't find any explosives, but I would consider a circumscision if I were you."
Vinney
"Sheesh, turn your head first, dammit. *Then* cough."
Porn in a post-911 world.
The lastest SuperHero, SquirrelMan, was fearless, agile, and fast, but his weakness was being distracted by nuts.
Uncle Ed's Moyhel Shop
Neuter? I don't even know her.
Let me stroke it a bit....and....now THAT's what I call a weapon!!
Is my stance wide enough for you Sir?
"Will you please stop hummin' Clarence Carter's 'Strokin'"
"I didn't get a HARUMPH! outta that guy."
It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.
"Wrecked' im, damn near killed him."
Observation: if we would all just agree to get a raging erection as they begin the pat down (and I mean *all* of us, not just the male model types), maybe it'd squick 'em out enough that they'd change the policy.
wv: butba. Abbreviating your Thanksgiving turkey since 1927.
Sully had finally found his dream job.
Yup, you've got a pair. Guess you aren't a member of congress.
With Cialis for daily use, I can be ready anytime the moment is right... the moment isn't right, dammit!
vw: uners: male passengers with one testicle.
Semi ORA:
I see Joey Tribiani's tailor got a new job
With all of the recent vague death threats TSAs John employs the fake glasses,nose and mustache trick.
Agent Wilbur Flannigan introduces himself to "Larry, Darryl, and Darryl"...but not the beloved sitcom characters of the 1980's.
"The baby's crowning. Push...push!"
What is strange is at Key West International Airport passengers were tipping after body cavity searches.
Vinney
It's not a grope, sir. It's a freedom touch!
"You'd do it for Randolph Scott!"
(WV: coneyel - as in if you grab my coney I'll yell.)
I for one welcome our genitalia groping overlords.
I found my 'tapler, and I'm taking it back...
Why you should NEVER tell V da K that "I got your 'Best Of' hanging..."
Thawt bubble; "That reminds me; where exactly DO the giblets come from?"
"Your soft moaning isn't making this go any smoother, Mr Takei."
SOTG demonstrates his TIFIFY* technique on/for dub.
* "There, I Fixed It For You"
"The flowers are a nice touch, Mr.... Sullivan, is it? But no, I'm still single, thanks for asking."
"They call me 'Star Trek' 'cause I go where no man has gone before."
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