Monday, November 22, 2010

Was It Good For You, Too?



1. Before joining the TSA, Mr. Flannigan was a Roman Catholic Priest and would have gotten his ass sued over this. But as a unionized Federal employee under a Democrat president, he's like a kid in a candy factory.

2. "Please stop moaning, Mr. Sullivan.... No, I will not meet you later for coffee."

3. "Senator Craig, this is your fourth time through security today. How many flights are you on?"

4. Compared to his previous job working as a personal assistant to Rosie O'Donnell, this wasn't so bad.

5. TSA Employee Wilbur Flannigan solves the mystery of SNL's "Pat" once and for all.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Biggest pair I've ever seen, Hillary."

Best of Rodney Dill
Waddams finally finds his stapler.

Best of Army of Dad
What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Unfortunately for the airport, TSA wouldn't fire Pat Down Specialist Felton just because his OCD compells him to zip and unzip every male passenger's fly 74 times before allowing them to board.

Best of Whacko
"Yes, I did used to play soccer. Why do you ask?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Okay, there's yer problem..."

Best of Kaptain Krude
Sully had finally found his dream job.

Best of jj
Yup, you've got a pair. Guess you aren't a member of congress.

Best of metalgarth
Semi ORA: I see Joey Tribiani's tailor got a new job

Best of Jack Reacher
"The baby's crowning. Push...push!"

Best of Vinney
What is strange is at Key West International Airport passengers were tipping after body cavity searches.

Best of Rodney Dill
I for one welcome our genitalia groping overlords.

56 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"So that's why they call you the 'Hanging Judge," Justice Scalia."

Rodney Dill said...

Bags Fly Free

Rodney Dill said...

"Biggest pair I've ever seen, Hillary."

Rodney Dill said...

During his TSA training school final exam, Edmund fails the 'Two Test Tickle' procedure.

Rodney Dill said...

You are now free to moan about the country.

Rodney Dill said...

Waddams finally finds his stapler.

Rodney Dill said...

Fly the Friendly Skies

Rodney Dill said...

"Name?"
"William Hung."
"Nope."

Rodney Dill said...

"We only have 20 seconds left MacGruber."

Rodney Dill said...

"How'dyougetthebeansabovethefrankboy?"

Rodney Dill said...

All your junk are belong to us.

Anonymous said...

To make TSA body seaches more palatable, agents are combining searches with prostate exams. Another benefit of Obamacare that we never knew about unless the bill was passed.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

...it's like a penis only smaller.

Army of Dad said...

Ants in your pants?

Army of Dad said...

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Army of Dad said...

What's in your wallet?

Army of Dad said...

ORA: "Moooon river"

Army of Dad said...

So that is what the Divinyls are up to nowadays.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

WTF?!? Well I'll be damned, Mr. Gere, you DO have a gerbil up there! Want me to try to remove it?

-OR-

I'm not saying TSA oversteps their authority, but there's anecdotal evidence. For example, Horace forcibly makes sure every guy hangs to the right before taking a full body scan.

-OR-

Unfortunately for the airport, TSA wouldn't fire Pat Down Specialist Felton just because his OCD compells him to zip and unzip every male passenger's fly 74 times before allowing them to board.

-OR-

One place you do NOT want to be when your laxatives kick in.

Army of Dad said...

Shouldn't this be a Tuesday post?

Army of Dad said...

Carpe:
One place you do NOT want to be when his laxatives kick in.

There, fixed it for ya!

blue said...

under ObamaCare your doctor has to send you to the airport for your x-rays and physicals

Whacko said...

"Yes, I did used to play soccer. Why do you ask?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Okay, there's yer problem..."

Jack Reacher said...

"I said yes, Dave. You can get off your knees now."

Anonymous said...

"You know sir, I didn't find any explosives, but I would consider a circumscision if I were you."

Vinney

dadoctah said...

"Sheesh, turn your head first, dammit. *Then* cough."

dadoctah said...

Porn in a post-911 world.

Rodney Dill said...

The lastest SuperHero, SquirrelMan, was fearless, agile, and fast, but his weakness was being distracted by nuts.

Rodney Dill said...

Uncle Ed's Moyhel Shop

Rodney Dill said...

Neuter? I don't even know her.

Mr. Hankey said...

Let me stroke it a bit....and....now THAT's what I call a weapon!!

molson said...

Is my stance wide enough for you Sir?

Rodney Dill said...

"Will you please stop hummin' Clarence Carter's 'Strokin'"

Rodney Dill said...

"I didn't get a HARUMPH! outta that guy."

Rodney Dill said...

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.

Rodney Dill said...

"Wrecked' im, damn near killed him."

dadoctah said...

Observation: if we would all just agree to get a raging erection as they begin the pat down (and I mean *all* of us, not just the male model types), maybe it'd squick 'em out enough that they'd change the policy.

wv: butba. Abbreviating your Thanksgiving turkey since 1927.

Kaptain Krude said...

Sully had finally found his dream job.

jj said...

Yup, you've got a pair. Guess you aren't a member of congress.

robert said...

With Cialis for daily use, I can be ready anytime the moment is right... the moment isn't right, dammit!

vw: uners: male passengers with one testicle.

metalgarth said...

Semi ORA:

I see Joey Tribiani's tailor got a new job

Spin said...

With all of the recent vague death threats TSAs John employs the fake glasses,nose and mustache trick.

jimmy said...

Agent Wilbur Flannigan introduces himself to "Larry, Darryl, and Darryl"...but not the beloved sitcom characters of the 1980's.

Jack Reacher said...

"The baby's crowning. Push...push!"

Anonymous said...

What is strange is at Key West International Airport passengers were tipping after body cavity searches.

Vinney

Kaptain Krude said...

It's not a grope, sir. It's a freedom touch!

Rodney Dill said...

"You'd do it for Randolph Scott!"

(WV: coneyel - as in if you grab my coney I'll yell.)

Rodney Dill said...

I for one welcome our genitalia groping overlords.

Submariner said...

I found my 'tapler, and I'm taking it back...

Submariner said...

Why you should NEVER tell V da K that "I got your 'Best Of' hanging..."

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "That reminds me; where exactly DO the giblets come from?"

dadoctah said...

"Your soft moaning isn't making this go any smoother, Mr Takei."

Submariner said...

SOTG demonstrates his TIFIFY* technique on/for dub.

* "There, I Fixed It For You"

Kaptain Krude said...

"The flowers are a nice touch, Mr.... Sullivan, is it? But no, I'm still single, thanks for asking."

Whacko said...

"They call me 'Star Trek' 'cause I go where no man has gone before."