Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sitting Pretty

Brender


1. The installation was supposed to keep the homeless from crapping in the street, but it instead only attracted avant garde white yuppies.

2. "Hey, are you gonna read that sports page?"

3. DATELINE: Boise, Idaho. A public monument to Senator Larry Craig was unveiled this week.

4. After the TSA heard that Al Qaeda was planning to drop cherry bombs in a school toilet, private restrooms were abolished for "security" reasons.

5. "Wow, that government-issue soylent green just goes right through you."

19 comments:

Mr. Hankey said...

"We're having a "Sh*t Out"!

dadoctah said...

Wait until you see the closing production number on the season finale of "Glee"!

dadoctah said...

You'd think moving all the smoking areas fifty feet away from the building would be enough. But no....

Submariner said...

Look, buddy, you think up captions your way, and we'll think up captions the California way...

Submariner said...

Look at the bright side; at least you didn't have to pay 50 cents to find out it was only flatulence...

Jack Reacher said...

In a consumer-preference study, 35% of those polled preferred reading the New York Times while they did their business. The rest preferred staring at the walls. So the NYT had the walls removed.

Jack Reacher said...

"Wait until you see the FY2012 budget numbers. You're going to sh**."
"Lay 'em on me, I'm ready."

jj said...

Finally, someone finds a good use for the New York Times.

Submariner said...

They all believed they were in that special "one-way glass crapper" in Tokyo.

Submariner said...

Tea Party commentary regarding the Obama Administration's budget are getting a bit carried away, aren't they?

Submariner said...

The line for the Obamacare colo-rectal cancer exam...

molson said...

Oh crap.

Anonymous said...

Yes, THAT IS the disney vault.
Looks like someone is working on
a new script. It's probably gonna
stink like the rest of the turds
disney puts in theaters.

prince of leaves said...

Woman on far end: "The Red Cross aren't the only ones tearing up with the aroma -- phew!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

a) Mandated lo-flow toilets create landfill problem with banned porcelain thrones.
b) Since cities are broke and basically sewers anyway, saving money usually spent painting park benches seems a win-win.

-OR-

Contestants are killing time before the annual Toilet Bowl Race through Central Park.

-OR-

More and more people are beginning to seriously consider the ramifications of the age old question: Where will you be when your laxatives kick in?

WordVerify: rearbar FOR THIS PHOTO!!! I kid you not! Juice bar, fern bar, why not a rear bar?

dadoctah said...

All this time I thought "handicapped toilet" referred to the person using it.

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING:

Considering the current economy metaphor; it was highly ironic how keen the competition for the job of the new Tidy Bowl Man was.

Developing...

Submariner said...

New York Times City Desk, June 2010.

Dr. Doom said...

TSA Enhanced Inspections, Phase II.