Friday, November 19, 2010

Sarah Logs On

Sondra K

1. Sarah pauses briefly to observe Ned Beatty's brutal abuse by the inbred hillbillies, then calmly resumes her work.

2. "On second thought, that one's a little thin on the wall side. Don't worry, kids, I'll find us a gosh darn Christmas tree if I have to clearcut this whole forest."

3. "How do ya like me now, Treebeard?"

4. "On second thought, why bother with the tree? I'll just shove the chainsaw up Maher's a$$."

5. "Eat your heart out, Abe Lincoln."

Best of Vinney
When Sarah Palin learned Levi Johnston wasn't circumsized, she offered her services.

Threadwinner: Whacko
"Maybe only God can make 'em but I can sure as gosh darn heck cut 'em down!"

Best of Tim
Sarah had just about enough of Joan Baez's dirty hippy treehouse.

Best of Rodney Dill
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

Best of Oiao
"There, now I can actually see Russia from my house! Someone invite Tina Fey over to enjoy the view!"

Best of dub
Ironically, last night I was working my wood while watching Nalin Palin.

Best of Mephitis
More work in one take for a TV show than the current preznit has done in a lifetime. Yep, pretty sure that's accurate.

Best of Jack Reacher
If a tree falls in the forest, and it lands on Joe McGinniss, does anyone care?

Best of Jack Reacher
"Yeah, that's nice, Mr. President, I saw you harvested some trees on Farmville. That must have been exciting for you, huh? Real outdoorsy stuff, eh?"

Best of Jay Guevara
"Cherry tree? Sheeeit. That's nothing."

Best of prince of leaves
Even if it meant cutting down every tree in the forest, Sarah wouldn't rest until she had enough Spotted Owl chick appetizers for all her Thanksgiving guests.

Best of Submariner
Well golly, gosh durn it! The length is good on this one but it's too small in diameter to really please me...

Best of mega
NY Times: "Palin Kills Tree; Quenches Thirst On Druid Tears"

Best of Silhouette
"Hey Obama, nice valence." http://bit.ly/PLFNY

39 comments:

Oiao said...

Sarah Thought Bubble: "This is how I'm going to treat Barney's frank when I'm the Prez!"

Oiao said...

Sara wishes that that nasty 'Dumpster Muffin' from the UC Berkeley tree sitters had been there for the felling.

Anonymous said...

When Sarah Palin learned Levi Johnston wasn't circumsized, she offered her services.

Vinney

Whacko said...

"Maybe only God can make 'em but I can sure as gosh darn heck cut 'em down!"

Tim said...

Sarah had just about enough of Joan Baez's dirty hippy treehouse.

Rodney Dill said...


I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

Rodney Dill said...

Timber? I don't even know her.

Rodney Dill said...

Dagnabbit, I'll build that M----- F------ bridge ta nowhere, myself.

Rodney Dill said...

How's that hopey chainsawey workin' our fer ya now?

dadoctah said...

How to eliminate morning wood.

Rodney Dill said...

"Dang that was hard work... next time I'll have ta fire this sucker up."

Rodney Dill said...

DRUDGEBREAKING: Sarah Palin with a chainsaw proved she was clearly superior over Newt Gringrich using an axe. Proving once again that with Sarah, there will be NO NEWT AXES.

(Eat your heart out Stephen Pastis)

Dr. Doom said...

"Oops, sorry Senator Mikulski", said Sarah, "I did say timber".

Oiao said...

"There, now I can actually see Russia from my house! Someone invite Tina Fey over to enjoy the view!"

dub said...

Ironically, last night I was working my wood while watching Nalin Palin.

Mephitis said...

More work in one take for a TV show than the current preznit has done in a lifetime. Yep, pretty sure that's accurate.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

PALIN's Global Problems Solution #46
People say I can't see the forest for the trees. Okay, simple, let's ban trees!

-OR-

DEMOTIVATION Caption #1
When you're handed trees, make toothpicks and cardboard!

DEMOTIVATION Caption #2
If you've seen one tree, you've seen them all. Same goes for coal-rich hilltops, ocean bottoms, owls, whales, sand dunes & cacti, polar bears.....

-OR-

Lumber barons aren't despoilers. They don't destroy forests, they're just real good at "creating new habitat."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Palin Fogbubble: My face would look better on the $1 bill* than George Washington's and that's no gall darned lie.
*By the time our corrupt congress and the Fed is done debasing currency, nextgen will be buying bread with these.

Rodney Dill said...

When the only tool you have is a chainsaw, all problems look like trees.

Jack Reacher said...

If a tree falls in the forest, and it lands on Joe McGinniss, does anyone care?

Jack Reacher said...

"Yeah, that's nice, Mr. President, I saw you harvested some trees on Farmville. That must have been exciting for you, huh? Real outdoorsy stuff, eh?"

Jack Reacher said...

Phshaw; one tree. Just imagine how many will be consumed smearing her if Palin decides to run in 2012. That's the environmental catastrophe here.

Double the U said...

hhhmmmm, I guess that bear was too close.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Sarah creates some deadwood to use as a visual aid in her next speech about the current administration

Jay Guevara said...

November 18 (UPI) - Folk legend Joan Baez was recovering last night after falling 20 feet from a treehouse in her garden.

The Sixties singer was taken to hospital after the tree bearing the tree house behind her California home mysteriously crashed to earth.

Once the cheering died down, onlookers took Baez to Stanford Hospital where she was treated for minor abrasions and major, chronic stupidity.

Jay Guevara said...

"Cherry tree? Sheeeit. That's nothing."

prince of leaves said...

Hardhat and safety vest: $75

Insulated work clothes and steel-toed boots: $350

Long-bar industrial chainsaw: $2500

Looking far sexier in all that than Michelle Obama in her latest designer sofa-pelt? Priceless!

prince of leaves said...

Even if it meant cutting down every tree in the forest, Sarah wouldn't rest until she had enough Spotted Owl chick appetizers for all her Thanksgiving guests.

Submariner said...

Well golly, gosh durn it! The length is good on this one but it's too small in diameter to really please me...

Submariner said...

Sarah performs her rendition of "Treezilla vs. Obambi."



v word - deada - I'll bet her target is, at that...

Submariner said...

>snicker<
>snicker<
Sorry about yer limo, Mr. President...

mega said...

NY Times:
"Palin Kills Tree; Quenches Thirst On Druid Tears"

jj said...

Sarah demonstrates a castration clause hidden in the obamacare bill, but she's disappointed to learn that democrats in Congress have already been castrated.

molson said...

Hey Baez. What do you think of your treehouse now gosh darn it?

Oiao said...

Gosh darn, that Sarah really does know how to accessarize!!

(yes, I shamelessly retreaded my own post from the Sarah shotgun photo, but, firearms and chainsaws get my vote any day of the week!)

Silhouette said...

"Hey Obama, nice valence." http://bit.ly/PLFNY

Mr. Hankey said...

There you go, I estimate my latest log at 7000 Courics! Beat that one Bono!

Rodney Dill said...

Eat a beaver, save a tree.

Rodney Dill said...

Can you please put the saw down before you respond how you felt about Bristol's TSA pat-down.