Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Putin and the Puppy

Sondra K

1. "Thank you, I can't wait to eat it."

2. "You see, this is where Cruella de Vil went wrong. I only need 10, maybe 12 of these to make a good coat."

3. "In honor of the American First Lady, I will name him, 'Old Yeller.'"

4. "Cool, let's shoot it into space until it dies."

5. Putin's affection for the animal was short-lived, as was the animal itself when it crapped on the seat of his Harley.

Best of Matt the K
"I guess the Russians love their puppies too", mused a wistful Sting.

Best of Matt the K
The mindmeld complete, Chairman Scruffy promptly destroyed his humanoid parasite.

Best of HLam
Putin's mistake of confusing the pooch for a Winter Muff proved fatal for the dog when one hand entered it's mouth and another hand entered it's rump.

Best of GregMan
"And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George."

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Putin discovers how "Puddles" got his nickname

Best of Jack Reacher
"I will name him Chechnya, and keep my hand always at his throat. Bwahahahahahahha! Oh, I slay me."

Best of Steve O
Being all out of iPods, Happy Meal toys, and DVD's didn't matter -- once the State Department came up with exactly the right idea.

Best of Adriane
And here I always thought Beethoven was German ...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Dear Humane Society Forum - As a puppy, I never thought I'd be writing to you about my sex adventures, but...

Best of JohnS1959
"Alright America, sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty or the puppy gets it", threatened Mr. Putin.

21 comments:

Matt the K said...

"I guess the Russians love their puppies too", mused a wistful Sting.

Matt the K said...

The mindmeld complete, Chairman Scruffy promptly destroyed his humanoid parasite.

Matt the K said...

Putin warmly receives his gift of Puppy Kiev from the North Korean delegation.

Matt the K said...

Putin was so instantly smitten, he did not hear his translator emphatically begging him to please put Secretary Clinton back down.

HLam said...

Putin's mistake of confusing the pooch for a Winter Muff proved fatal for the dog when one hand entered it's mouth and another hand entered it's rump.

GregMan said...

After Putin used his Death Hug to suffocate the puppy, his jaw unhinged and he swallowed it down.

GregMan said...

Putin couldn't find a cat like Blofeld's, so at the last minute he had to make do with what was at hand.

GregMan said...

"And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George."

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Putin discovers how "Puddles" got his nickname

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Putin meets his date from Match.com

Jack Reacher said...

"I will name him Chechnya, and keep my hand always at his throat. Bwahahahahahahha! Oh, I slay me."

Steve O said...

Putin promises to "love him like a Russian."

Steve O said...

Being all out of iPods, Happy Meal toys, and DVD's didn't matter -- once the State Department came up with exactly the right idea.

dadoctah said...

"As the Christmas marketing season ramps up, we're all set to kick us some Zhu Zhu pet ass!"

americanelephant said...

Pooty-poot and poopy too.

Adriane said...

And here I always thought Beethoven was German ...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

My vote for Instant Threadwinner - GregMan's... "And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George."

-OR-

Dog's Thawtbubble: Okay, I'm looking into his eyes and don't get a sense he has a soul. Could it be that Bush totally confused the chill that ran down his spine with the "tingle" wimps get around alphas?

-OR-

Dear Humane Society Forum - As a puppy, I never thought I'd be writing to you about my sex adventures, but...

-OR-

Putin Thawtbubbleski: Grow up qvickly, Igor. I have a vodka kegger that vill be like a beautiful albatross around your neck.

Passionate Conservative said...

Yeltsin, reincarnated.

JohnS1959 said...

"Alright America, sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty or the puppy gets it", threatened Mr. Putin.

JohnS1959 said...

"Well clearly Mr. Putin's dog, Stoli, has no trouble identifying the alpha male leader of the pack", related Cesar the Dog Whisperer. "My work is done here. Now I'm off to Washington DC to face the biggest challenge of my career".

Anonymous said...

Dog thought bubble:
"I smell a big fat commie rat."

Vinney