Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Make a Wish, Inshallah


1. Meanwhile, the TSA was too busy strip searching a two-year-old to care.

2. "Hand over the money or we begin lighting his farts."

3. The San Francisco Happy Meal Ban Enforcement Squad wrestles a miscreant to the ground and pries the Megamind toy from his fingers.

4. "Welcome to your fraternity hazing. You might want to keep your legs spread in this position... for a while."

5. Dub is wrestled down by the deprogramming squad and forcibly carried to the nearest Curves.

Best of jj
Former Speaker of the House Pelosi is escorted from her office.

Best of GregMan
What happens when some kid won't get off of Speaker Boehner's lawn.

Best of dadoctah
You ask me, Menudo is trying a little too hard these days.

Best of divine miss m
We want a round of margaritas and we want them now.

Best of Artfldgr
Is that any way to act in a bowling alley?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In rough parts of Iraq, reformed terrorists help ensure that Domino's pizzas are delivered "in 30-minutes or less."

Best of Jack Reacher
The Old Navy mannequin displays get creepier every year, don't they?

Best of Submariner
Won't THEY be surprised when they take off the hood only to find out they've kidnapped one of their own for ransom and it's Helen Thomas...

Best of Dr. Doom
Shortly after attacking the Marine position, the Al-Qaeda cell arrives in paradise. Only to discover that it is a bus station in Newark and they are the only virgins to be found...

Threadwinner: Kaptain Krude
"Dammit, Mark, stop humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme!"

25 comments:

jj said...

Former Speaker of the House Pelosi is escorted from her office.

jj said...

The AARP finds another 'retiree' on their 65th birthday.

JohnS1959 said...

The liberal view of the tea party takeover of Congress...

GregMan said...

TSA employee: "No ma'am, I can't stop them. That would be profiling."

GregMan said...

What happens when some kid won't get off of Speaker Boehner's lawn.

dadoctah said...

You ask me, Menudo is trying a little too hard these days.

divine miss m said...

We want a round of margaritas and we want them now.

Artfldgr said...

Is that any way to act in a bowling alley?

Anonymous said...

Within seconds of uttering the phrase "Please pass the salt." Bloomberg's team rushed in and removed John from the restaurant. He was never heard from again.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mossad's 1001 Things You Can Do With a Terrorist jokebook
#326 - "Wishbone" players run on either side of a telephone pole
#19 - "Doorjam" see how many doors you can knock down before terrorist cries uncle.

-OR-

On the next Survivors, contestants dress up as SWAT teams, bust crack houses, grab cash and drugs, then have to find their way back to the studio because cabs don't wait in bad neighborhoods.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Tourism advertisers struggle to come up with catchy slogans -
Come vacation on the beautiful Gaza strip! Our little country offers free ambulance service courtesy of Hamas!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In rough parts of Iraq, reformed terrorists help ensure that Domino's pizzas are delivered "in 30-minutes or less."

-OR-

True to his word, the new sheriff cracked down on beligerent parents who attack kiddie league coaches.

-OR-

How the Red Cross deals with a shortage -
"But I just gave blood last week!"

Dr. Doom said...

In a takeoff of a favorite kid's classic, the TSA Training Video, Where's Khalid, asks new agents to spot the potential terrorist. DHS statistics indicate over half of agents have difficulty with this exercise.

Jack Reacher said...

A disguised Lindsey Lohan is busted out of rehab in a stimulus program for California dealers.

Jack Reacher said...

The Old Navy mannequin displays get creepier every year, don't they?

Jack Reacher said...

"The women! I want to buy your women!"

Jack Reacher said...

Sure, there's some chafing involved, but how many other young men can claim "I was Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's date?"

Oiao said...

"Hand over the giant Racoon in the corsette, or this dude gets it!"

HLam said...

Abdullah's bachelor party wasn't starting off too well...

Submariner said...

NObody expects the Inquisition!

Submariner said...

Won't THEY be surprised when they take off the hood only to find out they've kidnapped one of their own for ransom and it's Helen Thomas...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Q: How is the Iranian "All-Volunteer" Army like Enterprise Rent-a-Car?
A: They'll come and pick you up.

-OR-

Gratuitious Caption: Where will you be when your laxatives kick in?

Dr. Doom said...

Shortly after attacking the Marine position, the Al-Qaeda cell arrives in paradise. Only to discover that it is a bus station in Newark and they are the only virgins to be found...

Submariner said...

ORA

You should have bought a squirrel...

Kaptain Krude said...

"Dammit, Mark, stop humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme!"