Saturday, November 13, 2010
Maid in America
1. "Because of ObamaCare, I can't afford to keep the entire household staff. I have to let two of you go, and I think the fairest, most amusing way to choose the lucky ones is a no-holds-barred cage match... Thunderdome, if you will..."
2. "I'm so very, very disappointed in you, Vivian. How could you vote for Christine O'Donnell?" Kathleen Parker deals with the help.
3. "Vivian, there's a negro at the door. You hold him at bay with the Glock while I dial 911."
4. "Of course I accept your sexuality, son. It's just weird how you and your father have the same cross-dressing fetish."
5. "I don't mean to appear so disappointed, Army of Mom. I had just heard so many legendary things about your outfits that this one is something of a letdown."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
After the initial shock of arriving home early and catching Herman in drag wore off, it dawned on Gertrude... "Well, hey, I don't have to do any more freaking dishes, ironing or vacuuming, do I, Hermoine?"
Best of prince of leaves
In Bizarro World, Mrs. Sumner is devastated when she learns that the household staff is replacing her with a illegal immigrant.
Best of jimmy
Iris was livid. "I don't care if you've hired Gloria Allred, get back in the kitchen and make me a cocktail."
Best of Oiao
I keep having this reoccuring vison of a big spider that will satisfy me. Go get me a big spider!
Best of blue
...and put Ray Bradbury in the room next to mine."