Saturday, October 30, 2010

Yoo Hoo... Koo-o-o-o-o-be-e-e-e-e


1. "This one looks about right, Mr. Sullivan. Should I begin slathering it in K-Y?" The unglamorous life of an intern at The Atlantic.

2. Finding two pumpkins of just the right size and shape, Billy asks if he can be alone for a while.

3. "Get the lighter ready, Jim. I'm fixin' to blow."

4. Bending over to pick up the pumpkin, Billy has a horrible flashback to his time as one of Barney Frank's pages.

5. Just to make The Lottery more festive and seasonal, they're using pumpkins this year instead of rocks.

Best of blue
With 2 of these I can cross dress as Elvira tonight!!

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
With 2 of these shoved down the back of my pants, I can trick or treat as Michelle!!

Best of dadoctah
With each passing day, Tobey Maguire regretted more and more his decision to leave the Spider-Man franchise.

Best of Rodney Dill
Fourth and Ten... putz

Best of prince of leaves
In the opening sequence from "Aliens 13", Jimmy the slow-minded but kindhearted colonist discovers the xenomorph's spawning bed...with predictably horrifying results.

Best of jj
Timmy recoiled in horror at the White House garden as he sees M'chelle unhinge her jaw and prepares to feast on young, white flesh.

Best of dadoctah
With the collapse of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Saturnalia into a single "winter solstice" celebration, plans were set for similar consolidations of other holidays. Here we see Rodney as the Halloweaster Leprechaun, preparing for the Valentine fireworks display.

Best of Dr. Doom
Joey took his date to the pumpkin patch. The next day he would tell all his friends that he "lustily fondled her gourds"...

20 comments:

blue said...

with 2 of these I can cross dress as Elvira tonight!!

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

with 2 of these shoved down the back of my pants, I can trick or treat as Michelle!!

dadoctah said...

With each passing day, Tobey Maguire regretted more and more his decision to leave the Spider-Man franchise.

Rodney Dill said...

Fourth and Ten... putz

Anonymous said...

"Pull your cheeks apart, wider! I lubed this one real good!"

Oiao said...

"So, how many of these do you think Michelle Obama can smuggle at one time?"

Submariner said...

No Mr. Sullivan; don't turn around yet. I need to get one more and a guord for my costume. You're gonna LOVE it!

Submariner said...

SMASHIN PUNKINS; UR DUIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

BOCHI BAL; UR DUIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

Young Johnny Weir learns what snapping a greased pumpkin will do without a Quarterback...

prince of leaves said...

Suddenly, Jimmy screamed in terror as he caught sight of the giant rabbit with Crohn's Disease heading right for him.

prince of leaves said...

In the opening sequence from "Aliens 13", Jimmy the slow-minded but kindhearted colonist discovers the xenomorph's spawning bed...with predictably horrifying results.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Where's Waldo?

-OR-

I found one!!"
Self-esteem advocates have managed to squeeze all the challenge out of holiday "hide & seek" games.

-OR-

In this chilling adaptation of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Charlie Brown ignores Snoopy's warnings that Lucy was replicated by the Great Pumpkin.

-OR-

The original title was Life is Like a Bunch of Pumpkins but Tom Hanks suffers severe allergic reactions to Cucurbits.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Darwin Award Winner: Elroy joked to other pick-your-own fruit shoppers about setting a trap to catch elephants. Imagine his surprise when a whole herd came stampeding towards him!
Moral: Always check to see if the circus is in town.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dept of Agriculture Fruit Inspector Floyd Rombus was last seen checking a pumpkin patch for pest infestations.

jj said...

Timmy recoiled in horror at the White House garden as he sees M'chelle unhinge her jaw and prepares to feast on young, white flesh.

dadoctah said...

With the collapse of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Saturnalia into a single "winter solstice" celebration, plans were set for similar consolidations of other holidays. Here we see Rodney as the Halloweaster Leprechaun, preparing for the Valentine fireworks display.

Kaptain Krude said...

A young Stephen Colbert, shown here frolicking in his front yard at age 28, before his life changing operation. Sadly, the asshole rejected him.

Dr. Doom said...

Joey took his date to the pumpkin patch. The next day he would tell all his friends that he "lustily fondled her gourds"...

Dr. Doom said...

Performance art in the mid-west