Monday, October 11, 2010

Viscous Liquid


1. "Mr President, that $250 check last year wasn't a tax cut, 9.6% unemployment isn't a recovery, and that wasn't lemonade you just drank."

2. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a blundering radical socialist despot... make tea.

3. "Your History courses at Columbia didn't cover Lucretia Borgia? Have some more lemonade, Mr. President."

4. "I am sorry, but being a community organizer in no way qualifies you to run a lemonade stand, but thank you for coming in for the interview."

5. "'What is lemonade made out of?' Cheezus, you really are helpless without a Teleprompter."

Best of blue
"Come on lady, just drink the damn kool-aid, I have more voters drug."

Best of Silhouette
You only think I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned. You fool. Never go in against a Kenyan when death is on the line!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Hon, how's about we trade places? The sun is blinding me and I can't see the teleprompter.

Best of metalgarth
"...saved or created 500,000 pitchers of lemonade"

Best of Unscrupulous
Thank you so much for being the first President to visit our asylum for the clynically insane. How do you like your breast milk?

Best of Dr. Doom
Mr. Obama engages in some 'Lemonade Diplomacy' in order to try to resolve the racial unrest of chalk faced whores everywhere.

11 comments:

blue said...

"Come on lady, just drink the damn kool-aid, I have more voters drug."

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "The Mikes is hard... and so am I."

Mr. Hankey said...

Obama creates another job!!

Silhouette said...

You only think I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned. You fool. Never go in against a Kenyan when death is on the line!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Uh, no, Gladys, this isn't a reenactment of Jonestown!
GUARDS! I need a tastetester pronto!!!

-OR-

So, Miss Heffernen, you think we could turn this economy around if I build a million lemonade stands and pass them out to anyone whose factory job was outsourced overseas? Sounds logical. Maybe we could cannibalize those FEMA trailers and subcontract to Habitat for Humanity?

-OR-

Hon, how's about we trade places? The sun is blinding me and I can't see the teleprompter.

-OR-

Mr. O, you've about as much chance of me voting for you as seeing that pitcher sprout arms and legs and bust out with an "Oh Yeaahh!"
How'd you like a Hawaiian Punch, lady?

metalgarth said...

"...saved or created 500,000 pitchers of lemonade"

metalgarth said...

There a reason why you've never seen an episode of the Simpsons revolve around Carl and Millhouse's mother.

Unscrupulous said...

Thank you so much for being the first President to visit our asylum for the clynically insane. How do you like your breast milk?

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama engages in some 'Lemonade Diplomacy' in order to try to resolve the racial unrest of chalk faced whores everywhere.

Mr. Hankey said...

As he rolls up his sleeve, Obama knows that his Lemonade Summit for Mrs. Brown & Meg Whitman will figure out if she's a wh*re or not.

Adriane said...

So is Barry's glass full of lemonade or empty of glasses of lemonade drunk...