1. "I was thinkin', maybe we should hire a 'Rent Is Too Damn High' czar."
2. "One more crack about my hips fittin' through the door, pencil man, and I'll tell 'em where the real birth certificate is."
3. "To comply with weight and balance regulations, the captain requests that the first lady's hips be stored in the cargo compartment.
4. "All I can say is 'Chained Heat' damn well better be the in-flight movie."
5. The sound of the stairs creaking under the First Lady's weight secretly amused the president.
Best of Passionate Conservative
And after the picture was taken, Worf picked up the President and carried him across the threshold.
Best of GregMan
"Remember, dear, first we yell 'Allahu akbar!' and then we pull out the box-cutters."
Best of Rodney Dill
Michelle gets to go, 'cause bags fly free.
Best of dadoctah
In the event of a water landing, the First Lady can be used as a flotation device.
Best of molson
There should be some of them chrome naked ladies hanging off of those mud flaps.
Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; THAT would have plugged the hole for sure..."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
If you really loved me, you'd order them to redesign this plane to dip down to the curb so I won't have to climb these damn steps!
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Older lady voice from inside: "Excuse me, maybe I can help, I speak jive".
R.I.P. Barbara Billingsley