Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Respect your privacy, I'm a FRAKKIN' LION, so FRAK You!

Spin
1. ORA: "Don't be ridiculous, Brick. Menstruation doesn't attract bears."

2. ORA: Reg Barclay's holodeck fantasy of watching Counselor Troi take a crap on an African veldt was one of his sickest.

3. The wife of Zero Impact Man died today in a tragic accident at the Central Park Zoo.

4. Jeannie didn't know it, but she was about to join the Circle of Life in a big way.

5. Here I sit all broken hearted, came to sh-t but was savagely mauled by a lion.


Best of Adriane
"You know," thought Liona, "I don't go over to her house and dooty in her back yard. Maybe I should mention it ..."

Best of GregMan
"I think I'm gonna need a bigger roll of toilet paper."

Threadwinner mega
As a metaphor for November 3, it totally works, though the part about the Dems shitting all over the country before being ripped to shreds was a bit too subtle for some.

Best of jj
"Sheesh...I'll take the Redskins and the spread". Ann's misunderstanding of her of her bookies warning would prove to be fatal.

Best of Vinney
Lion Thought Bubble:
"Jeez lady, light a match! I thought you were a dead zebra."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Who will win in the contest between razor-sharp claws and last night's chili-cheese fries?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
According to a recent Hustler poll, Scat Cat porn only appeals to a very tiny percentage of sick intercourses.

Best of Army of Dad
"I just hate those f-ing lionesses. Always killing food for their man and then just watching as the new guy kills their young, what bitches...there's one right behind me...well this is awkward."

Best of Mysterion
Tom was in a tough spot. Should he shout out and warn of the approaching lion. Or, keep quiet and avoid being labeled a pervert.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Lyin'? No. I really gotta take a dump."

Best of molson
I can haz a square?

28 comments:

Adriane said...

"You know," thought Liona, "I don't go over to her house and dooty in her back yard. Maybe I should mention it ..."

GregMan said...

Figuring she was only going to soil herself anyway when the lion began chasing her, Enid decided to get straight to the point.

GregMan said...

Joy Adamson meets Elsa the Lion in Ang Lee's remake of "Born Free".

GregMan said...

"I think I'm gonna need a bigger roll of toilet paper."

mega said...

As a metaphor for November 3, it totally works, though the part about the Dems shitting all over the country before being ripped to shreds was a bit too subtle for some.

Dr. Doom said...

Bubba's internet site combines his two passions, video voyeurism and ancient Roman entertainment. It is surprisingly popular with lobbyists on Capitol Hill...

vw: dipclexu - the disease that prevents a congressman from reading the legislation he just voted for...

Dr. Doom said...

Shortly after her horrible death, PETA issued a statement decrying her insensitive feeding of endangered species and the Green Party issued a statement lambasting her for her irresponsible destruction of the planet by using toilet paper. With liberals folks, the lion always eats YOU...

jj said...

"Sheesh...I'll take the Redskins and the spread". Ann's misunderstanding of her of her bookies warning would prove to be fatal.

Anonymous said...

Lion Thought Bubble:
"Jeez lady, light a match! I thought you were a dead zebra."

Vinney

Son Of The Godfather said...

Kenya has its share of voter intimidation too.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Who will win in the contest between razor-sharp claws and last night's chili-cheese fries?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sheryl Crowe is about to realize an exception to her "one square only" rule

Son Of The Godfather said...

She should win an award for fastest bowel evacuation... They could call it a "Cat-ass-trophy"...

Hey man, it's been a long day. ;)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

It might surprise you to learn that the old mariner saying, "never spit into the wind" originated on the veldt... coincidentally, with a word that rhymes with spit.

-OR-

I'm betting this won't be made into a toilet paper commercial. Might work for Fleet Enema, though.

-OR-

According to a recent Hustler poll, Scat Cat porn only appeals to a very tiny percentage of sick intercourses.

Submariner said...

Famous last words #172:

"Scared? Of what? There ain't no Central Park muggers out here on the veldt..."

Oiao said...

About to be a new definition on 'sinking your teath into a great piece of ass'!

Rodney Dill said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in.

Army of Dad said...

Eat shit and die...what happens to the lion after the PH finally gets his rifle into action.

Army of Dad said...

"I just hate those f-ing lionesses. Always killing food for their man and then just watching as the new guy kills their young, what bitches...there's one right behind me...well this is awkward."

Army of Dad said...

Just a cat cruising around looking for a hot carl.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hot+carl

molson said...

Her button haz popped. I can haz lunch now.

Dactyl said...

Cure for constipation in 3..2..1...

Mysterion said...

Tom was in a tough spot. Should he shout out and warn of the approaching lion. Or, keep quiet and avoid being labeled a pervert.

Rodney Dill said...

"Lyin'? No. I really gotta take a dump."

dadoctah said...

The lion's just waiting until she finishes so it can go over and bury it.

molson said...

I can haz a square?

Justin said...

(lioness thought bubble) Self serving snacks?! What will they think of next?

Merovign said...

Sometimes, I want to know the story behind the picture. Sometimes, I don't.