1. Just to get it out of the way, "Aieeeee! Gojira!"
2. Catching his dad in the showers with the assistant Pee Wee offensive coach would scar a young Fred Phelps for life.
3. "Father Flannagan! Put that back in your pants right this instant."
4. "OMG! That pack of rabid raccoons is tearing through the dugout! My poor teammates! Oh, well, at least it's not another child sex abuse caption."
5. Catching the assistant defensive coach in one of his mom's outfits scars a young Army of Son.