Saturday, October 09, 2010

Not Cheerleading for Dub

Fred Miranda

1. "Quarterback dub says the team can't hear the calls over the sound of your thighs slapping together."

2. After a successful ACLU lawsuit, Danny and Kyle were allowed to join the cheerleading squad *and* allowed to continue their hormone treatments.

3. "Help me out, Emily. Which of these guys haven't I done yet?"

4. "The title is 'Head Cheeleader' for a reason. Hand me that cucumber and I'll demonstrate."

5. "Of course the fighting Aryans have a better half-time show than us. Their band director is Leni Riefenstahl!"

Best of prince of leaves
Monica looked side to side, hoping nobody would notice she'd put her torso on backwards after the quickie under the stands with Scott.

Best of Oiao
"Hey Monica, did you see the bulge in that guy's jersey?"

Best of Vinney
The coach yelled, "We're down 7 points and it's fourth and one. Janet suit up. You're taking it in."

Best of Submariner
What the hell is AoM doing in one of our outfits?

Best of dadoctah
"Gimme a V! Gimme a K! Gimme a Krispy Kreme! And some pork rinds! And a sports bottle full of gravy!"

Best of Rodney Dill
Long Snapper... I don't even know her.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Future queen-size hosiery model Edna Podunk was sure she heard the ice cream truck bells.

20 comments:

prince of leaves said...

Ang Lee crosses "Just One Of The Boys" with "Europa, Europa", and gets the story of a young Jewish girl hiding from the Nazis by pretending to be a teenage boy journalist pretending to be a high school cheerleader with a lesbian crush on the quarterback's majorette girlfriend.

prince of leaves said...

Monica looked side to side, hoping nobody would notice she'd put her torso on backwards after the quickie under the stands with Scott.

Oiao said...

"Hey Monica, did you see the bulge in that guy's jersey?"

Anonymous said...

The coach yelled, "We're down 7 points and it's fourth and one. Janet suit up. You're taking it in."

Vinney

Submariner said...

"Purple People Eaters" my foot. Eddy refused to go down on me, Saturday...

Submariner said...

What the hell is AoM doing in one of our outfits?

Oiao said...

"Yeah, but these boys don't know that I'm all Hillary from the skirt down!"

dadoctah said...

"Gimme a V! Gimme a K! Gimme a Krispy Kreme! And some pork rinds! And a sports bottle full of gravy!"

Oiao said...

Corn fed!

blue said...

move along folks...nothing to see here...just another day at the GLBT academy

dadoctah said...

I've got no problem with calling cheerleading a sport, but do they really need offensive tackles?

Steve O said...

I don't recognize the school colors, but I'm guessing... Wisconsin or Iowa.

Anonymous said...

Fat bottom girls you make the rockin world go 'round

Rodney Dill said...

Cheerleader one: "What do they have that we don't."
Cheerleader two: "Tight ends."

Rodney Dill said...

"How do you play wide receiver?"
"On your back."

Rodney Dill said...

Long Snapper... I don't even know her.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Darlyanne and Bernice eyed the natural blonde with suspicion. Any cheerleader in this school who didn't have a 5 o'clock shadow just wasn't going to fit in.

-OR-

Trixie and Charlene never worried about Coach Mayhew catching them once they mastered hiding lit cigarettes inside their mouths.

-OR-

Future queen-size hosiery model Edna Podunk was sure she heard the ice cream truck bells.

-OR-

WTF? Which one of those little pr*cks said I'd make the perfect HomeLYcoming Queen??

-OR-

Two runners up in the Ugly Betty Lookalike contest.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Laugh all you want, Jimmy. but YOU are STILL the one who picked up the entire tab all day Saturday for this...

Merovign said...

I don't get why y'all are so quick with the cross-dresser jokes every time some lady has a bit of solid to her.

On the other hand, you know, "trust but verify," that's my motto.