Monday, September 27, 2010

These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

Knowledge Is Power


1. Lady Gaga is Hillary Clinton as Madeleine Albright in 'The Monica Lewinsky Story,' next on Lifetime.

2. It took bathing in the blood of every Christian virgin in North America, but Hillary finally achieved the look she had always dreamed of.

3. "Choker? I just met her. And, yes, I want to choke her."

4. You should probably steer clear of any woman whose nether regions require a traffic cone in front of them.

5. The view from Bill Clinton's beer goggles, circa 1978.

Best of Dr. Doom
In Kim Jong Il's recurring fantasy, the Secretary of State arrives to begin 'negotiations'.

Best of Jack Reacher
The new face of abstinence education.

Best of GregMan
Lady Gaga pushes the boundaries again, arriving to the party dressed as a ferocious male-hating lesbian bondage fetishist, I mean, internationally respected U.S. diplomat.

Best of jj
After missing the game winning field goal in overtime the Saints open placekicker try-outs to the public.

Best of metalgarth
You don't really want to see Paul Stanley without his wig, makeup and chest toupee in place

Best of Spin
Lady GaGa decides to dress demurely for her grandmother's funeral.

Oh wait, that's true

Best of prince of leaves
Somewhere near Foggy Bottom, a dark, shunned crawlspace holds the shriveled, lifeforce-emptied husks of a busload of visiting 5th and 6th graders from Murphysville, West Virginia.

Best of dadoctah
Uh, Army of Mom, about the outfit...we were all kind of wondering....

19 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

In Kim Jong Il's recurring fantasy, the Secretary of State arrives to begin 'negotiations'.

Jack Reacher said...

The new face of abstinence education.

GregMan said...

The staff at the State Department knew they were in trouble when they saw the Secretary had dressed in her best B&D outfit.

GregMan said...

Lady Gaga pushes the boundaries again, arriving to the party dressed as a ferocious male-hating lesbian bondage fetishist, I mean, internationally respected U.S. diplomat.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Curses, Foiled Again!
If it hadn't been for an errant sneeze that shook off $10,000 worth of pancake makeup and concealer, Helen Thomas might have made it past the drooling guards in a bid to retake her old Press Room seat.

-OR-

Although not shown in the photo, a pack of 3 to 4 dozen dogs now follows Gaga morning til night, attracted by the lingering scent of raw bacon and the hope of nawty sex.

-OR-

So, which contributor will claim to have that outfit in her/his closet? Bawney Fwank, is that your hand waving "I do" or do you just want to go to the widdle boys woom?

-OR-

One of the bots appearing in the N. Korean sequel to Westworld and Futureworld... Yankee Whoreworld

blue said...

Hey boys - I could have been your president.......

sonicfrog said...

Oh, It's Lady "Ha Ha"!

jj said...

After missing the game winning field goal in overtime the Saints open placekicker try-outs to the public.

metalgarth said...

you don't really want to see Paul Stanley without his wig, makeup and chest toupee in place

Anonymous said...

It's about time someone whipped those quiche eaters over in State Dept. in line.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

When she found out Emanuel was a ballet dancer, it was time to discipline that sissy boy.

Vinney

Oiao said...

Rocky Horror meets Walmart!

dadoctah said...

Yet another of Elmo's private collection of "deleted" videos.

Spin said...

Lady GaGa decides to dress demurely for her grandmother's funeral.

Oh wait, that's true

prince of leaves said...

Somewhere near Foggy Bottom, a dark, shunned crawlspace holds the shriveled, lifeforce-emptied husks of a busload of visiting 5th and 6th graders from Murphysville, West Virginia.

Submariner said...

Whoa, what the heck has Debbie Harry gotten into?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

@Subby - couldn't make up my mind whether that was Harry or Stone after a few Tijuana estrogen-laced colon cleanses. Maybe it would help if she sits and crosses her legs and says, "Have you ever f'kd on cocaine, Nick?"
[didn't provide link to basic instinct video snippet for fear of giving V an aneurysm]

WordVerify: culuthe - okay, word captcha's finally gone Lovecraft!

dadoctah said...

Uh, Army of Mom, about the outfit...we were all kind of wondering....

Adriane said...

Dang, gotta pair just like that!!!

Best cast concrete pillars money can buy.