Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Nerd in his Natural Environment



1. Meet the hot, busty 23 year old flight attendant you've been chatting with on adultchat-dot-net.

2. "Mom, I understand being a 'Saved by the Bell' groupie back in the 90's... sort of... but for Set's sake if my father had to be a member of the cast, why Screech?"

3. "Not now, dad. I'm uploading the Stuxnet virus into the Iranian defense network."

4. ORA: "I made the mistake of saying 'Christians are all right,' next thing I knew, sharmuta whigged out on me, Kilgore Trout called me a racist, and Charles took out the ban-hammer..."

5. "Nah, I'm just gonna unzip and settle in for a night of Chat Roulette."

Best of dub ...
Even his window looks like a giant penis.

Best of Rodney Dill ...
Ram one's what?

Best of jj ...
A young Markos looks around befuddled wondering how someone can make a computer work when its not in the basement.

Best of GregMan ...
"Mom, why do I get a birthday card from somebody named "Carrot Top" every year?"

Best of Mr. Hankey ...
Kyle refuses to take his hands out of his pockets when his mother asked "how did you get that huge stain in your pants?"

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck ...
Note: this is what happens to your hair when you stick your crank into a live USB charging port.

Best of divine miss m ...
Poster boy for young men who will eventually look like old lesbians.

Best of JohnS1959 ...
Hey kid, the Ramones called - they want their t-shirt back.

Best of Matt the K ...
Next on 'Behind the Music', the real inspiration for "beat the brat with a baseball bat".

Best of Dr. Doom ...
Meet the love child of Kewpie Doll and the Travelocity Gnome.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston ...
Rare Medical Condition #290
Classic case of Femur Interruptus, the opposite of a puberty growth spurt. Patient X's legs are shrinking and he will eventually become a Dorf.

Best of Submariner ...
dub takes a break from writing disparaging remarks about "fat chicks" on Caption This!

Best of dadoctah ...
"Danny" from the 2010 Partridge Family reboot.

36 comments:

dub said...

Even his window looks like a giant penis.

Submariner said...

I bet 25,000 Quatloos that he's at least a 347th level Wizard of Warcraft. Any takers?

Rodney Dill said...

Ram one's what?

Oiao said...

@ Submariner said...

Sucker's bet!

jj said...

A young Markos looks around befuddled wondering how someone can make a computer work when its not in the basement.

GregMan said...

Young Seth shortly after finding out he was too nerdy even for Band Camp.

GregMan said...

"Mom, why do I get a birthday card from somebody named "Carrot Top" every year?"

GregMan said...

Nonetheless, Todd was still way more qualified to be Chief Executive than was President Soetero.

dadoctah said...

Just in case it hasn't sunk in yet: in 2012, this will be able to vote.

Mr. Hankey said...

Kyle refuses to take his hands out of his pockets when his mother asked "how did you get that huge stain in your pants?"

blue said...

Timmy just smiled, he knew that when he became a billionaire at his dot com business all the cheerleaders that rejected him would be his secretaries and all the jocks that gave him wedgies would be cleaning his toilets.


WV: ainall

dub said...

Sullivan quietly dreams about whether or not the carpet matches the drapes.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Note: this is what happens to your hair when you stick your crank into a live USB charging port.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Lonely Girls OnLine NOW in YOUR Area!!"
The face behind Trixie Snookums, that hot babe you just sexted for half an hour @ $3.99/minute.

-OR-

Imagine that this just hooked up with your divorced mother via ProwlingCougars.com. Still in favor of net neutrality?

-OR-

"Dad, Let's Talk about My Allowance"
Son Timmy just downloaded 7 Top Secret company analyses of Pentagon over-billing AND all the incriminating emails and nude photos between Dad and his secret lover, Stanley.
Is your home office computer truly secure?

-OR-

Cue Theme Music
Eddie's Thawtbubble - They just think they blocked my hack!

-OR-

David Attenborough whispers: The BBC's pimplevision camera captures the nocturnal nerd in its native habitat! These shy creatures inhabit dark bedrooms and noisy neon-lit arcades. Differentiated from a similar geek species by a lack of pocket protectors and prominent horned-rim broken glasses.

Submariner said...

I don't get it, Dad; how could a 'sack' help you hack back in the 70's? I mean, heck, you only had like Commodore VIC 20's and sh!t, right?

Submariner said...

Who'd a guessed that Harold Ramis had a 'fro at age 16?!?

Submariner said...

3:2 odda that he practices safe sex by putting a condom on his router's antenna.

Submariner said...

I'd like to check out your I/O device Mrs. Robinson, but I've only got a 5 and a 1/4" floppy on me...

divine miss m said...

Poster boy for young men who will eventually look like old lesbians.

JohnS1959 said...

Hey kid, the Ramones called - they want their t-shirt back.

Matt the K said...

Wow. Proof that some chick actually slept with Carrot Top.

Matt the K said...

"Uh...I would shake your hand, 'cept I got something on it."

Matt the K said...

Next on 'Behind the Music', the real inspiration for "beat the brat with a baseball bat".

Matt the K said...

Rock rock, rock'n'roll home-schooled.

Dr. Doom said...

Meet the love child of Kewpie Doll and the Travelocity Gnome.


wv: forker:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bozo the Clown... the early years.

-OR-

Rare Medical Condition #290
Classic case of Femur Interruptus, the opposite of a puberty growth spurt. Patient X's legs are shrinking and he will eventually become a Dorf.

dadoctah said...

This is why I stopped paying any attention to Sears back-to-school ads.

Tim said...

Laugh all you want, he's already slept with your daughter.

Oiao said...

Yet another 'candidate' for launching off of the GW Bridge.

Oiao

WV = kienu... I kienu this guy was a looser.

dadoctah said...

Ten years from today, this guy will be on the cover of Financial Giants Weekly. Ironically, this very picture will appear in a sidebar accompanying the article.

Submariner said...

dub takes a break from writing disparaging remarks about "fat chicks" on Caption This!

Anonymous said...

Q~tip

Anonymous said...

Cosmo Kramer- the wonder years.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

"Danny" from the 2010 Partridge Family reboot.

molson said...

Hopeless in Seattle.

Anonymous said...

If you smmmeelll lel lel lel lel...
What the Rock
is cookin