Knowledge Is Power
1. "Brai... oh, it's you. Never mind."
2. "Pleased, um, to meet you, transvetite corpse of Sammy David Jr."
3. Desperate to get close to the president, Helen Thomas resorts to blackface.
4. "So, Tyra, you say something called a 'Wraith' sucked out your life force?"
5. "So, I touch that flower, spores shoot in my face, and I get all happy and mellow? I um, recall Frank Marshall Davis telling me something similar."
Best of JohnS1959
"I would have bet 40,000 quatloos on you", said Provider Denethor of Beta Orindi 7, "But in this economy I decided gold was a better investment."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Who will help me liquidate the kulaks as a class?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Saying she got the idea from Lady Gaga, Mammy went before the One wearing her Sunday best, including the thin-sliced deli meat meant for supper.
Best of dub
For the first time, I am proud to be I had chicken noodle soup for dinner, but I bought the black belt instead because brown is just, did I ever tell you about my granddaughter, I think I need to get the oil changed on the Buick but, but, but...I'm sorry, who are you again?
Best of blue
"Aunt Zeituni what a surprise! I thought they deported you!'
Best of Jay Guevara
"Sorry Aunt Zeituni. It won't happen again. Please don't cast a spell on me."
Best of dadoctah
Tyler Perry has finally lost it.
Best of sonicfrog
Obama strives to strike a deal with Trade Guild Viceroy Nute Gunray to blockade conservatives from polling places in the upcoming November elections.
Best of Matt the K
A poor, senile Wesley Snipes relives his "To Wong Foo" glory.