Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Gaga, it's what's for dinner

Dougie


1. It was a misunderstanding, really. Lady Ga Ga actually asked her couterier to make her "a really neat dress" for the awards.

2. Her speech was interrupted when an offended Kanye West pointed out that Oscar Meyer made "the best cold cuts of all time."

3. "Will someone put a wallet under Morrissey's tongue so he doesn't swallow it in mid conniption fit? Thank you."

4. The costume is supposedly 100% beef and beef by-products, but the backstage crew swore they smelt raw tuna."

5. "I'd like to thank God, thank my fans, and thank the good people at Hormel beef."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Help me Kanye West... you're my only hope."

Best of Dr. Doom
Ms. Gaga made a bold fashion statement at the awards ceremony. Unfortunately the Westminster Kennel Club was meeting in the adjacent banquet hall. Hilarity ensued...

Best of JohnS1959
"Well this just won't do Joan", said the fashionista, "flank steak after Labor Day? Come ON! And fishnets too? Worst menu EVER."

Best of Jack Reacher
She blinked rapidly, and the haunting image of an audience of cattle, staring accusingly at her, vanished.

Best of dadoctah
Björk turned to me and said "that's pretty f**ked up."

Best of Submariner
Did the seamstress use nylon or gut sutures? Enquiring minds want to know!

Best of Vinney
"It is an honor to receive the Admiral Peary Award for polar exploration."

Threadwinner Dactyl
"I'm so grateful for this award, in fact after the show we're all going out to Outback Steakhouse and hey, dinner's on me!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Vanity Fair cover story lampoons Gaga - "Stick a fork in her, she's done."

Best of Submariner
Underwear? Why a bacon bra of course...

Best of JohnS1959
"Hello my name is Sally and I'm a recovering Vegan..."

Best of jj
Thousands of teen boys have just now thrown out that piece of liver from their sock drawers.

Best of molson
Don't eat the schnitzel, they're using Gaga.

Best of Army of Dad
Mad Cow is diseased.

Best of Jay Guevara
Where are the famished Dobermans when you really need 'em?

56 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

Meat Head!

Rodney Dill said...

Gag A What?

Rodney Dill said...

"Help me Kanye West... you're my only hope."

Dr. Doom said...

Ms. Gaga made a bold fashion statement at the awards ceremony. Unfortunately the Westminster Kennel Club was meeting in the adjacent banquet hall. Hilarity ensued...

Rodney Dill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rodney Dill said...

DRUDGEBREAKING: Lady GaGa receives award for her successful lunar landing. Developing...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Isn't rancid meat wrapped in more rancid meat kinda redundant?

-OR-

"Every body needs a Bacon Wrap!" - The American Pork Council touts its latest fashion statement as "the most potent anti-muslim extremist body armor since Kevlar® "
In other news, Israel is reportedly nearing completion of a pork-laden cruise missle. Hillary Clinton denounces it as unnecessarily provocatory.

-OR-

Bacon!....baconbaconbaconbaconbaconbacon...BACON!!!
Total pandemonium broke out as hundreds of canines crashed the 2010 Space Cadet Awards ceremony.

JohnS1959 said...

"Well this just won't do Joan", said the fashionista, "flank steak after Labor Day? Come ON! And fishnets too? Worst menu EVER."

JohnS1959 said...

Hmm... We have gone full spectrum now. On one end we have PETA wackos modeling lettuce and at the other end this wacko modeling meat. Somewhere in the middle is an edible meal...

JohnS1959 said...

Lady Gaga has made powerful enemies now. No not the billion outraged Hindus - she has hauled off and offended PETA. Just wait for the other hoof to fall...

Jack Reacher said...

She blinked rapidly, and the haunting image of an audience of cattle, staring accusingly at her, vanished.

Jack Reacher said...

'ow to speak Australian: Flank-skank.

Double the U said...

Sure she mixed up her shopping list, but that looks good. You should have seen what the dress maker did with the butcher's list.

metalgarth said...

Captain Beefheart after affirmative action

metalgarth said...

Next year she's doing a cover of her favorite classic Kiss song: "Meat You in the Ladies Room"

Rodney Dill said...

Who porked GaGa?

GregMan said...

What are the odds? I had this outfit. For dinner.

dadoctah said...

Björk turned to me and said "that's pretty f**ked up."

Army of Dad said...

Skirt steak, steak skirt potAto, potatO.

Army of Dad said...

Well she is a ham...

Submariner said...

"This dress is anotomically correct - breast of veal, pork bellies, pooterhouse steak where you would expect...

Submariner said...

My hat? sweetbreads, of course...

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Must.Hold.In.Sausage.Until.Big.Finale."

Submariner said...

"...and if a PETA wack job wants to toss blood on me, we'll just call it a French Dip outfit..."

Submariner said...

Did the seamstress use nylon or gut sutures? Enquiring minds want to know!

Submariner said...

So what exactly do you call a cameltoe covered in flank steak?

Mr. Hankey said...

"so I figured, why stop at leather?"

Army of Dad said...

I am thinking those beef curtains have been parted before...lots of times.

wv: adeal Well I had to buy it, it was on sale!

dub said...

Biggest.Vagina.Ever.

Anonymous said...

"It is an honor to receive the Admiral Peary Award for polar exploration."

Vinney

Submariner said...

♪ And I-EYE-I, will always love, ewe-OO-ewe. ♪

Anonymous said...

"Meat me in St. Louis, Louis,
Meat me at the fair"

Whacko said...

At the state fair she'd be deep fried and sold on a stick.

prince of leaves said...

Not content to simply poach her shock schtick, Lady GaGa takes a shortcut to adopting Madonna's disturbingly muscular appearance as well.

Dactyl said...

"I'm so grateful for this award, in fact after the show we're all going out to Outback Steakhouse and hey, dinner's on me!"

Dactyl said...

"..and then you want to put your no-talent publicity whore on the grill for about two hours."

"That's right! Now, obviously on a normal awards show we don't have time for that, so we've got a precooked no-talent publicity whore already done over on this grill..."

dadoctah said...

"Tee hee hee! Maggots tickle!"

Spin said...

Gown by Temple Grandin



VW - mulebran ?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Since childhood I've suffered terrible nightmares involving Porky Pig, Miss Piggy, marzipan pigs, Napoleon/Animal Farm, Roseanne, Wilbur/Charlotte's Web, Babe, Kramer's "pig man" and yes, even Pygmalion. Well, yesterday I ran over a sow with my LandRover out in Malibu Canyon... and am happy to report, I'm finally cured!

-OR-

Vanity Fair cover story lampoons Gaga - "Stick a fork in her, she's done."

-OR-

I would urge all aspiring stand-up comics to try dressing like this just once. If you can put up with the scorn, harassment and ridicule without brain-dulling meds, you might make it in the business. Me, I'm swallowing a bullet as soon as I step off stage.

WordVerify: refie - after their 125% LTV's scammed the country, the banks' new word is repo

Submariner said...

Underwear? Why a bacon bra of course...

JohnS1959 said...

"Hello my name is Sally and I'm a recovering Vegan..."

jj said...

Thousands of teen boys have just now thrown out that piece of liver from their sock drawers.

jj said...

Thought bubble of many in the front row, "Why does this meat smell like fish?"

molson said...

Don't eat the schnitzel, they're using Gaga.

mega said...

Man, those tea partiers and their whole survivalist "carry your food supply on your person" mantra have really gotten into some people's heads.

mega said...

I've never thought this before, but I'm pretty happy there's no camel toe involved.

mega said...

Speaking truth to Cotton Power.

Army of Dad said...

Mad Cow is diseased.

Kaptain Krude said...

And just like that, millions of men suddenly became vegetarians.

Anonymous said...

If you put the tinfoil hat on your head, the steak cooks in the sun from Global Climate Disruption

Anonymous said...

I'll bet she beats her meat

Anonymous said...

Lady Ding Dong

Jay Guevara said...

Where are the famished Dobermans when you really need 'em?

Submariner said...

...and I hear she's got a corned-beef hash outfit for Saturday mornings.

Mr. Hankey said...

Beef Jerky

Anonymous said...

I like mine pink on the inside.

Vinney