Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Do Not Adjust Your Knobs

Um, Al, I think

1. Rejected by the entire fraternity, Angeline resorts to date-raping herself.

2. "No, I'm still a pre-op tranny. These are on-loan so I can get used to the feel of them."

3. "Hey, big boy. Wanna go Michael Vick on my sweater puppies?"

4.Photographic evidence emerged that exonerated MONORAIL KITTEH from the molestation allegations.

5. The final test of the vice squad examination: Would the candidate notice the heroin syringe on the rail if the butterface was fondling herself?

Best of Dr. Doom .
In order to speed the boarding process, Big Sister implemented the 'Self Pat Down Procedure' being demonstrated here by Kayla. Thousands of male TSA Agents quit the next day...

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck .
While attempting to adjust her misalined hooters, Becky yanked so hard that she jerked herself over the rail behind her and plunged to an untimely yet hillarious death on the jagged rocks below.

Best of Matt the K .
Kylie was pleasantly surprised when she actually got a response from Tokyo.

Best of Submariner .
They're not real.
They're not fabulous.
But, like, you gonna do any better?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston .
They're REAL and they're... well, mediocre.

Best of dadoctah .
And yet, though it surprises even me, I'd do her.
Wouldn't post the pics on Facebook though.


20 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Turned on by Unicorn Pr0n

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh, Now I understand why I get paid 60% of what a man does."

Dr. Doom said...

In order to speed the boarding process, Big Sister implemented the 'Self Pat Down Procedure' being demonstrated here by Kayla. Thousands of male TSA Agents quit the next day...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

While attempting to adjust her misalined hooters, Becky yanked so hard that she jerked herself over the rail behind her and plunged to an untimely yet hillarious death on the jagged rocks below.

jj said...

Why doggie style and two bags were invented.

Matt the K said...

Kylie was pleasantly surprised when she actually got a response from Tokyo.

Jack Reacher said...

Whaddya know; I guess I'm a leg man, after all.

Jack Reacher said...

ORA: "The left side is tingling!"

Submariner said...

They're not real.
They're not fabulous.
But, like, you gonna do any better?

Submariner said...

Whaddaya tink my chances ah ta be chose as a Juggy?

Anonymous said...

Betty thought demonstrating a breast self-exam was a great party ice breaker. After three beers she felt a pelvic exam was in order.


Vinney

Spin said...

J-WOW this bitch!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

They're REAL and they're... well, mediocre.

-OR-

Well, Senator Frank grabbed me from behind like this, and then recoiled and lisped a profuse apology, claiming he thought I was some guy named Gawwy.

-OR-

Oh, yeah, I often wake up in the middle of the night to fondle these puppies. You guys have no idea what you're missing.

-OR-

Sheila is demonstrating the female version of the guy's "crotch jostle."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mimi demonstrates a rare anatomical anomaly that won her a spot on Letterman's Stupid Human Tricks -
You push the left one in
You pull the left one out
You push the right one in
Then you shake 'em all about!


-OR-

White House PR campaign uses folksy testimonials to win over naysayers ...
With Obamalamacare, I'll finally be able to afford to get my boobs straightened.

-OR-

Blonde Thawtbubble - A bra! Why, that would free up my hands for other tasks!

-OR-

I'm not saying they're saggy or floppy, but if I let go during a sneezing fit at my desk, these can type an entire email and send it!

molson said...

So I take it the sex change hasn't quite stuck.

dadoctah said...

And yet, though it surprises even me, I'd do her.

Wouldn't post the pics on Facebook though.

Submariner said...

Not suggesting that Mary's a common slut or anything, but her tramp stamp reads "Sam's Club."

Mr. Hankey said...

Something else to remind us of what's more important than some idiot burning a Koran.

Submariner said...

dadoctah said...
And yet, though it surprises even me, I'd do her.


And so would the rest of the male and a few of the female monors to the site, doctah.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Don't torture yourself, darling.
That's my job.