1. Coach had a creepy habit of nuzzling his star players and softly whispering, "Ron Paul!"
2. "But what about my needs, coach?"
3. "Coach, when you softly sing Kenny Rogers 'Lady' into our ears, it doesn't so much motivate us as totally creep us out."
4. Coach has been acting creepy ever since he found out he was on the short list to be the next 'Safe Schools Czar.'
5. "You know coach, it's bad enough when you whisper I should 'push that tight end deep and hard'... I mean, that's not even technically a valid play... but the little giggle afterward really creeps me the F out."