Friday, September 10, 2010

And God Spoke to Holy Shatner


1. "Hey! You aliens got any green chicks?"

2. Shatner's ego eventually resulted in the creation of a personal spotlight that hovered over him no matter where he went.

3. After spending all those years working with George Takei, Shatner found nothing in Enumclaw that even shocked him.

4. "No, sorry, you've got the wrong guy. Farakhan's house is two streets over."

5. "I don't see what Picard was so worked up about. There really are five lights."

Best of Jay Guevara
Shatner thought bubble: "Wow, I just realized I should vote for Obama."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Oh just F*ck me, Gene Roddenberry."

Best of dadoctah
Oddly enough, the same thing also happened to Adrian Zmed.

Best of Adriane
You know as far north as he lives, you'd think he wouldn't have this many problems with illegal aliens...

Best of Jack Reacher
Ads for Rendering Plant Negotiator never aired, for reasons that should have been obvious.

Best of Matt the K
Kirk was rendered powerless, for the Thebulon's ray had him in a Mind Crotch.

Best of molson
Beam me up Scotty. The horse isn't gonna put out.

Best of Dactyl
"Yo, where da green women at?"

26 comments:

sonicfrog said...

"Scottie, ever the prankster."

Jay Guevara said...

Shatner thought bubble: "Wow, I just realized I should vote for Obama."

Rodney Dill said...

Beam me....... up....... Scotty

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh just F*ck me, Gene Roddenberry."

dadoctah said...

The glowing, hovering disc above his ranch emitted a soundless message directly to Bill's mind: "do 'Rocket Man' for us, one more time!"

dadoctah said...

...as the airplane exploded in a brilliant fireball that illuminated the night sky, all he could think was "I *told* them there was a monster on the wing!"

dadoctah said...

Oddly enough, the same thing also happened to Adrian Zmed.

Submariner said...

No, that's NOT a good deal. Bid 34 Quartles and not a Pfartig more.

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "At.Least I Have...PANTS.On... In.This... Episode."



v word - woopse - it apperas Blogger has watched Shatner shows.

Submariner said...

"I didn't PLAY a hooker, Lord; my character was NAMED Hooker..."

Submariner said...

Close Encounters Of The Tribble Kind

Adriane said...

You know as far north as he lives, you'd think he wouldn't have this many problems with illegal aliens...

Oiao said...

"Beam me up, Scottie! And the horse I rode in on, too!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Back in the day", mused Kirk, "we didn't need to stinking holodeck. We got our entertainment the old fashioned way - on an alien planet with Lt. Uhura and a plow horse."

Anonymous said...

"Forgive me for asking, but are you really the Top Dog, the Big Man, Numero Uno, the Honcho, the Head Cheese"?

dadoctah said...

Co-stars Shatner and John Lithgow reunite for "3rd Rock: the Motion Picture".

Jack Reacher said...

Ads for Rendering Plant Negotiator never aired, for reasons that should have been obvious.

Matt the K said...

"...if I only I had installed this spotlight over the pool..."





wv: really... seriously, really.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the lift guys, and the anal probe.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Midnight Cowboy"
After multiple reports of late night sex assaults on farm animals, a police chopper finally nabs their prime beef suspect.

-OR-

After Hal Holbrook turned down the role, Shatner jumped at the chance to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star during a one-man performance of Brokeback Mountain.

Matt the K said...

Kirk was rendered powerless, for the Thebulon's ray had him in a Mind Crotch.

molson said...

Beam me up Scotty. The horse isn't gonna put out.

JohnS1959 said...

The Priceline Negotiator bargains with God and gets his trip to the afterlife at half price.

mega said...

"God damn CFL's."

Dactyl said...

"Yo, where da green women at?"

Rodney Dill said...

Shatner: "....line?...."