1. Little Jennifer's flawless reading of R. Lee Ermey's Full Metal Jacket monolog was the cutest, most disturbing thing the Marines had ever seen.
2. "All right, which one of you posted the 'midget hooker' caption?"
3. "... and just what do you gentleman want with Kuato?"
4. "Sorry, guys, it's just when I think of you having to salute that Marxist Kenyan piece-of-shit I just get so f--king mad."
5. "The Marines learned a valuable lesson that day; do not let Jerry Seinfeld hire the stripper for your bachelor party."
36 comments:
Red Dress: "Maybe we should chug on over to mamby pamby land where maybe we can find some self confidence for you, you jack wagons! .."
How the rest of the world sees Hillary Clinton.
It's called MY Little Pony, not YOUR Little Pony, and we're all gonna stand right here until I find out which one of you braided his tail in a French Weave!
"Now drop and give me 20 you useless maggots", screamed Annie.
"Listen up you f*%kin' jarheads. That maggot calls himself a President. What is his major malfunction? Even I know it's 'Corps, not Corpse'."
Vinney
"I love the smell of baby powder in the morning."
"Kelly says the bank is behind German lines; it's the perfect crime! What are you waiting for?"
"I've been watching Hollywood's last ten war movies; aren't you guys supposed to murder me, or something?"
The man accused of backing over little Jennifer's tricycle was released after she failed to pick him out in an identity parade.
"Midget High School Girls in Trouble", a Samuel L. Bronkowitz production.
"All right...who is going to dress up as my unicorn...huh, huh??"
Oh yeah? Well Woody Allen and I LOVE each other, and we're getting MARRIED, and we'll be HAPPY, so there!
poopy-heads...
Don't be shy, boys; show me how much you like me...
Look; it's plain I'm a tot. Where's my damn toys?
If I was named a Muslim named Fatima, I'd a already had a hubby. Which one of you is gonna take me out and show me a good time?
I don't care WHO said to cordone off the hall;
the little girls room is over there and I gotta go, so get the frack out of my way!
Unreleased and likely to remain so: the 1998 big-screen version of "Gomer Pyle", with Dakota Fanning as Sergeant Carter.
Mom wants to know which of you I look like......
You want to see the great and powerful Oz? You'll have to get through me...
A young Stefani Germanotta reenacts the "slave-selection" scene from "History of the World Part I".
"Do me a favor, could say 'Pumpkin' instead of 'ma'am?' It's just a thing, I worked so hard to get that title, so I'd appreciate it, yes, thank you."
"That was my g*ddam pony the SWAT team blew up. Now go kick their ASS!"
Don't be fooled by her outward appearance, Marines! She's a stone-cold killer. You'll need all of your fighting abilities and teamwork to beat this level's boss! Now fight!
wv: brocart - No, that's a day late and five captions down. Way to let me down once again, word verification system!
Submariner said...
Oh yeah? Well Woody Allen and I LOVE each other, and we're getting MARRIED, and we'll be HAPPY, so there!
poopy-heads...
Ouch, that one's gonna leave a mark, Subby.
"Did I say 'at ease'? No, I did not! I said, 'Atten-shun'! When I say 'attention', I mean 'atten-SHUN', you worthless..." The rest of Abby's profanity-laced tirade was mercifully drowned out (but just barely) by a passing fleet of jet airplanes.
"While I have you here, gentlemen, I would like to tell you about Ron Paul."
Want me read the paternity test results out loud or will my real daddy take one step forward...NOW!
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When a superior enters the room, you nimrods should snap to attention! TENNNNN HUT!
-OR-
Men, between the budget cuts and the ranks being stretched so thin, the DI's have had to outsource dress inspections to prissy little girls. So, LISTEN UP, jarheads! I want those shoes so shiny, I'll be able to see clear up my own dress!
She's got huge, sharp...er...she can leap about. Look at the bones!
OK. This is looking much better. Earlier today there were a bunch of Krishnas jumping around like gerbils on meth and I had to open up a whole can on their sorry arses.
If you've seen any movies recently, you know how this ends. She's like a 47th-level ninja, and none of those jarheads is getting out of this corridor with his limbs still attached.
"What are you hiding behind those hats?"
Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch...
Ok, which one of you jokers keeps calling the plaza at all hours asking for Eloise?
Aint parent teacher night a bitch when mom wont allow a paternity test.
Obama's 2nd cousin takes a trip to school with security detail for a girl's day out.
OK, which one of yous guys was cracking wise about my thinning hair?!?! Was it you, baldie?
-OR-
The guys are hiding their excitement at seeing a female after months at sea.
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