Friday, August 20, 2010

Vulcan Kittehs Have teh Logic


1. Then, one time, Bones got really pissed and gave Spock the brain of a cat, posted the video of Spock licking his own a$ all over YouTube.

2. "No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die. And logic dictates I have you executed immediately with a bullet to the back of the head. Mr. Tanaka, if you would, please." BANG! "Great, I still have 45 minutes of holodeck time left. WTF do I do now?"

3. "That's not a hairball, it's a tribble, you Vulcan monor."

4. "I named it Uhura because it's a nice big black pu... she's right behind me, isn't she?"

5. "Cheese, Sulu, there's no need to freak out. Haven't you ever seen a pu$$y before?"

Threadwinner: Double the U
Pointy ears, finds almost everything interesting and then quickly ignores it, enjoys chasing lasers, and doesn't pay attention to the emotions of others. Spock on the other hand could speak English and tell you to get the damn twine out of his face.

Best of JohnS1959
"Our minds are one...", said Spock as he completed the Vulcan Mind Meld, "...I can has cheeseburger?"

Best of racerboy
"Frankly, Doctor, your suggestion is not only highly illogical, but - OOOH! Something shiny!!!"

Best of Submariner
hey, Hey, HEY!
That's NOT my MIND you're melding with, genius...

Best of dadoctah
I can has pon farr?

wv: catio. The "random captcha string" concept takes another severe hit.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Yes Captain, this week's female guest star is a cat. Nevertheless, for continuity, you must participate in an obligatory scene laden with sexual innuendo.

Best of Mr Hankey
"I believe you Captain...but kitty here thinks you're a stinking cheater"

Best of dadoctah

"It's not so strange, really, considering how much we have in common. We both have pointed ears, we can both stare at you for hours without blinking, and we both instinctively bury our crap in boxes of sand."

28 comments:

Double the U said...

Pointy ears, finds almost everything interesting and then quickly ignores it, enjoys chasing lasers, and doesn't pay attention to the emotions of others. Spock on the other hand could speak English and tell you to get the damn twine out of his face.

JohnS1959 said...

"Our minds are one...", said Spock as he completed the Vulcan Mind Meld, "...I can has cheeseburger?"

blue said...

on Vulcan cats are called LunchMeat!

racerboy said...

"Frankly, Doctor, your suggestion is not only highly illogical, but - OOOH! Something shiny!!!"

Submariner said...

hey, Hey, HEY!
That's NOT my MIND you're melding with, genius...

Submariner said...

Toonces has over-ridden your command, Jim, and informed us that we are NOT going to the Dog Star...

Submariner said...

"Mr. Purdy wants to watch a scary movie..."

jj said...

No Sulu, you can't take kitty to the Korean restaurant!

dadoctah said...

I can has pon farr?

wv: catio. The "random captcha string" concept takes another severe hit.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"excuse me while I Vulcanize this cat"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Yes Captain, this week's female guest star is a cat. Nevertheless, for continuity, you must participate in an obligatory scene laden with sexual innuendo.

-OR-

Captain, ORKIN just delivered our space herpes pest control. We're good to go.

-OR-

Oh, Fluffy, what to do, what to do? The Captain thinks I'm devoid of emotion. Perhaps a long passionate letter confessing my desire to have his love child would help?

-OR-

I'm sorry, Miss Muffet, but polydactylism doesn't make you a candidate for Star Fleet disabiltiy compensation.

-OR-

Mr. Spock Sees into the Past
Jim! Turn the ship around! We must stop Mr. Sulu from mocking the sacred vulcan aloha greeting on Star Date 4923.36!

racerboy said...

ORA: "Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature..."

(can't believe I beat Miss M to that one...)

dadoctah said...

Diplomatic negotiations with the representative from the Squeaky Rubber Mouse Nebula proceeded smoothly until the ambassador impulsively unspooled several rolls of toilet paper onto the floor.

blue said...

on Vulcan we use cats instead of gerbils!

Spin said...

"Tell that security guard with the red shirt on that thinking black cats are bad luck is illogical"

Adriane said...

LOL ... Iz noes Basement Cat! But OMG, who da trekkie?

molson said...

Hey McCoy. You wanna pet my pointy eared pussy?

molson said...

I hear Jim goes for the green ones.

GregMan said...

I CAN HAZ PHAZERZ?

GregMan said...

...and the idiots elected a retarded left-wing community organizer for President, whereupon he killed their manned space progrtam. That's why there are only Vulcans and cats in space, and no humans.

wv: manatop: Back to Bawney Fwank jokes even in the Captcha, are we?

GregMan said...

"Another stimulus? Totally illogical."

Rodney Dill said...

"Captain... I've just invented the Phaser Cat."

Anonymous said...

The Star Fleet "don't ask, don't tell" policy was under scrutiny as Sulu was seen holding a rooster.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

"I found this in the food replicator."

Mr Hankey said...

This one time ....in band camp...I put a pussy in my flute.

Mr Hankey said...

"I believe you Captain...but kitty here thinks you're a stinking cheater"

Mr Hankey said...

...and Lt Uhura says if once i eat one - I'll never go back to the white meat.

dadoctah said...

"It's not so strange, really, considering how much we have in common. We both have pointed ears, we can both stare at you for hours without blinking, and we both instinctively bury our crap in boxes of sand."