Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Saying "Oval Orifice" Would Cause So Many Lost Breakfasts

Brender

1. Obama welcomes the Gym Teacher of the Year to the White House.

2. "See those arugula stains on the carpet? I was wondering if you could just kind of munch them out for me."

3. "Enjoy the Leather Womyn's Retreat. Say 'Hi' to the Secretary of State for me."

4. "We'll just have to keep trying. One of these windows *has to be* a door!"

5. "So, Axelrod tells me you're a Lesbian. What part of Lesbia are you from? I've heard it's beautiful there."

Best of GregMan
"You know, that left-over Star Trek uniform jacket looks very attractive on you."

Best of dadoctah
"I've been a big fan of your work ever since you were on SNL, Mr Lovitz."

Best of Vinney
"Hey Janet, sure I'll be your beard. Let's catch a WNBA game tonight."

Best of Jack Reacher
"The Earthlings suspect nothing. Plan 9 will be a total success."

Best of molson
Oh yeah. That's where I put that dildo.

25 comments:

GregMan said...

"Thanks for 'doing' M'chelle, Ellie. Now I can go cruise some gay bars in peace."

GregMan said...

"You know, that left-over Star Trek uniform jacket looks very attractive on you."

GregMan said...

"Don't worry, we'll be able to get that filthy Amerikkkan flag out of here soon enough. For the time being, it's just to keep the peasants quiet."

Rodney Dill said...

"Well we'll just keep that 'Gaggin' Kagan' knickname between you and me."

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes Wiccan!!!"

Dr. Doom said...

"Now how about a little role playing?", suggested the President. "I'll be the President and you can um be the ah intern".

Dr. Doom said...

"Yes Elena that is exactly right", coached Mr. Obama, "I want you to do to the constitution what Bill did to Monica right over there."

dadoctah said...

"I've been a big fan of your work ever since you were on SNL, Mr Lovitz."

Anonymous said...

"Hey Janet, sure I'll be your beard. Let's catch a WNBA game tonight."

Vinney

Oiao said...

'That Mexican joke was funny. Did you hear the one about the white conserative middle class cracker I taxed to death?'

Jack Reacher said...

"Just step on to this pedestal I had installed and I can bow down to you."

Jack Reacher said...

"The Earthlings suspect nothing. Plan 9 will be a total success."

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey, Abbott..."
"Keep quiet, Costello, I'm thinking here."

WV: sucklep. And....there goes lunch.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Yep, Clinton did it right here!" - To help reduce the deficit, the government launched White House Historical Tours. A nominal fee of 1 billion dollars is added if you request a native guide.

-OR-

The Blind Leading the Blind
These two couldn't find their way out of a cornerless room with their hands tied to the doorknob.

-OR-

Factoid #286432 - All First Ladies influence their husbands' cabinet and court appointments. For instance, Michelle offered these words of wisdom - "Pick one much prettier than me and you're dead meat."

Matt the K said...

"Where da white wimmin at?"

"I thought you'd never ask, Ellie. Right this way..."





wv: staxeses - dass how I likes my wimmins wid big brestsesseses

dadoctah said...

It staggers the mind how many people, judging from their captions, seem to think that's Elena Kagan.

Anonymous said...

"Janet, come here; I want to show you something. I'll bet your office doesn't have a bidette. I thought it was a fountain. Silly me. You can spend hours on it."

Vinney

marco said...

"It's weird, Elena. Normally, my desk in this room is cluttered with vacation options to go over."

Jay Guevara said...

"No, no, Elena, no need for you to get under the desk. Really. Seriously, I mean, not necessary. In fact, don't. Please don't."

Mr. Hankey said...

Scenes before Obama smashes her head against the desk...

Mr. Hankey said...

There's always some confusion who takes the lead when you dance with a lesbian.

Matt the K said...

"Hmmm...you know Dadoctah, um... I didn't think this was Elena Kagan, just some other, um, random lesbian named Ellie. They all um, look alike to me...."

dadoctah said...

You and at least four others. We got to know Janet as governor before she left and her successor tried to fix the state budget by driving away our biggest demographic.

ObActualCaption: Worst. Muppet Show Duet. Ever.

dadoctah said...

The 2010 reenactment of Marilyn Monroe's "Happy Birthday, Mister President" was something of a letdown.

molson said...

Oh yeah. That's where I put that dildo.