Friday, August 06, 2010

Red Faced

John Schneider
While I remain on vacation, please enjoy this captioning opportunity.


Best of HLam
TV reporter: "Can you tell us what happened?"
Dude: "It was horrible. Rosie O'Donnell stormed the buffet table. Everything in sight, gone in 60 seconds. I've never seen food disappear so fast. She was like a machine, she just wouldn't stop. Then all of a sudden she exploded! Blood and body parts everywhere."

Best of Sean
...man, I'm glad I didn't do her.

Best of Army of Dad
Sully's search for 'bloody gaping asshole' yieled a differnt result than he had hoped.

Best of JohnS1959
The President’s new Small Business Czar shouted, "There's another entrepreneur boys, let's get him!"

Best of Steve O
"Eric the... what? Why do they call you that?"

Best of Submariner
Unfortunatley for President Carter, his personal security detachment was no match for the swipping vorpal bunny...

Best of mega
The Lifetime Story of Mel and Oksana pulled no punches, so to speak.

Best of Passionate Conservative
Goatse? WTF?

Best of Silhouette
Have you considered an electric razor?

Best of Rodney Dill
Nathan's Haggis eating contest didn't go over as well at the Hot Dog contest.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, I'm Obama's Judgment and Good Sense Czar! What of it?"

25 comments:

HLam said...

TV reporter: "Can you tell us what happened?"

Dude: "It was horrible. Rosie O'Donnell stormed the buffet table. Everything in sight, gone in 60 seconds. I've never seen food disappear so fast. She was like a machine, she just wouldn't stop. Then all of a sudden she exploded! Blood and body parts everywhere."

TV reporter: How do you explain your purple hair?"

Dude: "Tsk...everyone does this on Folsom St.

Sean said...

...man, I'm glad I didn't do her.

dub said...

Earning Your Red Wings....UR DOIN IT GROSS.

Anonymous said...

Bobbing for tampons?

Army of Dad said...

Sully's search for 'bloody gaping asshole' yieled a differnt result than he had hoped.

JohnS1959 said...

The President’s new Small Business Czar shouted, "There's another entrepreneur boys, let's get him!"

GregMan said...

VtheK, on vacation. 'Nuff said.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Kris Kristofferson's Little Jack Horner cameo role for the fairytale horror Carnivorous Plum Pies Attack! proved to be the highlight of another weirdass film by M. Night Shyamalan.

-OR-

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup... and it bites and scratches!

-OR-

"101 Ways to Intimidate IRS Auditors"
Ernie Dremmink carefully read the entire ebook and chose Idea #28, not realizing Leavenworth has devoted an entire wing to red-faced berserkers with blue hair.

Oiao said...

The face of a true RINO. Red in appearance with Blue in the brain.

Steve O said...

"Eric the... what? Why do they call you that?"

Spin said...

Roid Whisperer.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Worst ever case of Rosacea, possibly.
Worst color-matching toupee, definitely.

-OR-

NO, Harriet, it wasn't a giant ape, just an average-sized monkey... but in an auto parts store in Vermont? It ran up to me screaming and waving this paint brush and then... oh forget it.

sonicfrog said...

...it's got a vicious streak a mile wide!

Submariner said...

ORA

Unfortunatley for President Carter, his personal security detachment was no match for the swipping vorpal bunny...

Submariner said...

HORSE WISPERER; UR DUIN IT AT TEH RONG END A TEH FILLY.

mega said...

Can someone please go ask Bob where all his coworkers are?

mega said...

The Lifetime Story of Mel and Oksana pulled no punches, so to speak.

Passionate Conservative said...

Goatse? WTF?

Submariner said...

For the last time; I'm a VEGAN dammit! I just like blood oranges!

molson said...

I don't think that was haggis.

molson said...

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Silhouette said...

Have you considered an electric razor?

Rodney Dill said...

Nathan's Haggis eating contest didn't go over as well at the Hot Dog contest.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dry Run, Bad Idea
Doug Nilgaard, Gillette's rugged spokesmodel for the $28 apiece, 9-blade Godzilla Claw razor, resigns "for health reasons" right in the middle of filming a commercial.

Jay Guevara said...

"Yeah, I'm Obama's Judgment and Good Sense Czar! What of it?"