Friday, August 13, 2010

Metal Mouth

Guest captionist Carpe Phlogistan:

1. Never tell a dentist you'll try anything to straighten your teeth
2. How to Spot a Blind Date from Hell - first clue is when they say she has a great personality
3. TSA Test Dummy
4. Dear teen who needs to rebel or be "accepted" - U R Doing It RONG.
5. Even the Borg have Casual Fridays.

To which one would add... 1. "No, Fry, I did not just give Bender a blow job. How could you think such a thing?"

Best of Tim
All bow before the power of the tiny hat!

Best of Double the U
She'd be cute if.... ah.. no she wouldn't.

Best of Vinney
That hat just does not go with those rivets.

Best of GregMan
"And if I tilt my head a little, I can pick up Air America."

Best of Dactyl
I did all this to distract people from the third eye in my cheek.

Best of prince of leaves
"...and when the handsome prince kissed the magical fish, she turned into a beautiful princess. Well, okay, a moderately-attractive if weird princess. Even magic couldn't do anything about the hooks all those catch-and-release fisherman had left her with...or the fish net and six-pack rings tangled in her hair...or the nasty fishy smell..."

Best of Steve O
Sometimes, picking out just the right hat isn't as critical as you might think.

21 comments:

Tim said...

all bow before the power of the tiny hat!

Double the U said...

She'd be cute if.... ah.. no she wouldn't.

blue said...

and Lola explained "No one asks me to put out on a first date!"

Anonymous said...

That hat just does not go with those rivets.

Vinney

GregMan said...

"And if I tilt my head a little, I can pick up Air America."

GregMan said...

"None of my boyfriends have ever wanted oral. I have no idea why."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Guest captionist Carpe, from the remote deserts of Phloigstan:

V the K's still diligently working from a beach lounge, balancing a tiny laptop keyboard and a bottle of Wild Turkey on his belly. :-)
Respectfully, Carpe Phlogiston


WordVerify: laterst - in the world of inflected suffixes (or irregular superlatives?), this is when, on a 10k, you come in so long after the previous runner that everyone's gone home except the rescue team sent to look for you.

Dactyl said...

I did all this to distract people from the third eye in my cheek.

Dactyl said...

Yet another movie remake: Kristen Bell prepares for her starring role in the Ang Lee hit "Edwina Scissormouth."

prince of leaves said...

"...and when the handsome prince kissed the magical fish, she turned into a beautiful princess. Well, okay, a moderately-attractive if weird princess. Even magic couldn't do anything about the hooks all those catch-and-release fisherman had left her with...or the fish net and six-pack rings tangled in her hair...or the nasty fishy smell..."

molson said...

Some hobbies are a lot more fooked up than others.

americanelephant said...

Bride of Hellraiser

americanelephant said...

If Boy George and Perez Hilton had kids

Steve O said...

Somehow, I don't think my Ivy League MBA, and executive job on Wall Street is going to impress her.

If I want a date with her, I'd be better off as the homeless lead singer of a band, spewing off-key, incoherent, psuedo-intellectual ramblings about how "Tea-baggers" want to kill the poor.

But I prefer my corporate, golf-on-weekends, non-herpes lifestyle, so I'm cool with it.

Steve O said...

Sometimes, picking out just the right hat isn't as critical as you might think.

Steve O said...

Daddy kisses $80,000 spent on tuition goodbye.

Steve O said...

Why do all "non-conformists" dress in pretty much the same way?

Steve O said...

Why do all "non-conformists" dress in pretty much the same way?

Steve O said...

Wow. She even has the "anti-oral" bar through her cheeks. She is REALLY serious about not doing that.

Anonymous said...

Poor girl. 20 bucks says she mutilated herself like that cus her dad or someone raped her mouth.

JohnS1959 said...

Even with humans nature has a way of warning you to stay away...