Saturday, August 28, 2010

Le Petit Voyeur


1. "That's it, Army of Mom. Just take off the outfit. Oh, yeah, it's so hot today ... that cool shower's going to feel so-o-o-o-o-o good. Just take off the top... oh yeah... nice..."

2. "This picture of the Principal and the Safe School Czar in the bushes next to the sixth grade locker room should guarantee me straight A's for the next couple of years."

3. "OK, Billy, now stick the bullwhip in your butt. Congressman Frank is a HUGE Mapplethorpe fan."

4. "OK, Lindsay Lohan, let's see what manner of naughtiness you are up to today, shall we?"

5. "Wow! With this telephoto lens I can see all the way into the showers at fat girl camp. OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!" A pivotal event in the life of young Dub.

Best of jj
Now which cell is Paris in??/ There...the one with the cops lined up in front of...

Best of Jack Reacher
"Get another restraining order, I'll just get a longer lens. No problem."

Best of prince of leaves
And if I zoom way in and compose everyone else out of the shot, it'll look like only three people bothered to show up at this stupid football game..." - a future AP stringer discovers the power of selective photography to tell a biased story.

Best of HLam
30 years later Bill Belichik's dad would regret buying him a telephoto lens.

Best of sonicfrog
Geez... With that lens, he really can see Russia from his house.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
With obesity impacting younger and younger demographics, the Thursday Babe film crew goes to extreme lengths to find someone skinny enough to appeal to Dub.

Best of GregMan
"This will make a great closeup of M'chel - oh crap, my lens just shattered."

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"..and if I focus judt right, I can see up M'Chel dress...hmmm...What the F*ck? is that????????"

Best of Submariner
ORA: Mmmmmmm I wish I was a loofah...

18 comments:

Double the U said...

A picture of a young V the K taking his own photos for captioning in his grade school newspaper.

jj said...

Now which cell is Paris in??/ There...the one with the cops lined up in front of...

Jack Reacher said...

"There he is, sneaking out of the back of Bill Ayers' house...Hey! Let go! Who are you guys?" Billy's scoop--and Billy--would never see the light of day.

Jack Reacher said...

"Get another restraining order, I'll just get a longer lens. No problem."

prince of leaves said...

"And if I zoom way in and compose everyone else out of the shot, it'll look like only three people bothered to show up at this stupid football game..." - a future AP stringer discovers the power of selective photography to tell a biased story.

Jay Guevara said...

ORA: "Ooh, I didn't know they could do that."

HLam said...

30 years later Bill Belichik's dad would regret buying him a telephoto lens.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

edited prince of leaves entry

"And if I zoom way in and compose everyone else out of the shot, it'll look like only three people bothered to show up at Glenn Beck's rally..." - a future AP stringer discovers the power of selective photography to tell a biased story.

sonicfrog said...

Geez... With that lens, he really can see Russia from his house.

sonicfrog said...

ORA "I Love Boobies"... "I Love Boobies"... "I Love Boobies"...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

During a filming hiatus, young Jake again takes up his hobby of stalking fellow co-stars.
Jake's Thawtbubble: Ewwwwww, Uncle Charlie!?!? And with a HOOKER!!!"

-OR-

Imagine the look on Arthur Conan Doyle's heirs' faces when they learn that elementarymydearwatson.ru is an upskirts pedo web site.

-OR-

With obesity impacting younger and younger demographics, the Thursday Babe film crew goes to extreme lengths to find someone skinny enough to appeal to Dub. "We heading over to the day care center next, right?"

JohnS1959 said...

"Hey, with this long lens", thought Billy, "I can almost see the bottom of the deficit".

GregMan said...

"If those two drunk chicks fall into the campfire they're dancing around, I'll be able to make a fortune selling the picture to the newspaper."

GregMan said...

"This will make a great closeup of M'chel - oh crap, my lens just shattered."

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"..and if I focus judt right, I can see up M'Chel dress...hmmm...What the F*ck? is that????????"

dub said...

"Ok Timmy", Sullivan called out, "now wait till I get the cheeks pulled apart. We'll call this photo 'Hello.jpg'"

Submariner said...

ORA:

Mmmmmmm I wish I was a loofah...

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "How about that? AoM really DOES have that outfit!"