Monday, August 23, 2010

How Small Is It, Keef?


1. The San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus, under the direction of chorister Keith Olbermann, presents a rousing evening of Show Tunes. Proceeds go to the Jerry Brown for Governor Campaign.

2. "In response to your question about the amount of facts and objectivity used in my reporting..."

3. "I'll answer a question from the eight-foot talking carrot right after I take a hit off my invisible spleef."

4. "Who wants one of my boogers?"

5. "Hey! You two old lesbians making out in the back. Cut it out! ... What... Oh, sorry Senator Franken and Mr. Donahue. My bad."

Best of Vinney
"My life was a shambles until I heard of Amway."

Best of GregMan
"My brain? 'Bout this big. Now my ego, that's another matter altogether."

Best of metalgarth
"Gays, Lesbians And Assorted Douchebags" (and there was much confusion as to which category Olberman fit into best)

Best of Jack Reacher
"I thank J.C. Penney for the glasses, Mr. Soros for the cash, and Media Matters for the lotion."

Best of JohnS1959
Anthony Smithers of the Federal Bureau of Meaningless Statistics attempts to demonstrate the statistical probability that at least one of the First Family is not on vacation at any given time.

Best of molson
Ooooo. I broke another nail.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Bart had always thought Milhouse seemed a little "swishy".

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The new Glaad windBag... Now you can cram twice as much trash in the same amount of space!

Best of Mr Hankey
Let it be known that I've always preferred you folks over Hefty.

Best of skinnydipinacid
"Before I became the left's bitch, my asshole was this small."

Best of Submariner
Gavin, what exactly do you mean when you say "We're gonna start you out on the training mics?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Wonerful wonerful"

Best of Matt the K
Hmmm...glaad...must be a Dutch word for 'annoying leftist goober'.

29 comments:

sonicfrog said...

What the hell are these stains on the podium?

Anonymous said...

"My life was a shambles until I heard of Amway."

Vinney

dadoctah said...

Hey, wait a minute! I thought Mitch Miller died!

GregMan said...

"How big is my p3nis? THIS BIG!"

GregMan said...

"My brain? 'Bout this big. Now my ego, that's another matter altogether."

GregMan said...

"My journalistic integrity? Yay big, I'd say."

GregMan said...

Strap-on demonstrates his technique for performing fellatio on just about any democrat. Including Hillary.

dadoctah said...

Worst. Vulcan salute. Ever.

blue said...

I'm not sure Cream would have written these lyrics today:

I'm so glad, I'm so glad
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
I'm so glad, I'm so glad
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do
I'm tired of weeping, I'm tired of moaning, I'm tired of crying for you

metalgarth said...

"Gays, Lesbians And Assorted Douchebags" (and there was much confusion as to which category Olberman fit into best)

Jack Reacher said...

"It's true; Bush is the secret Muslim!"

Jack Reacher said...

"We're this close, my friends. A few more czars, reinstate the Fairness Doctrine, and the nation will be ours. Bwahahahahahaha! Oh! I just peed a little."

Jack Reacher said...

"Excavations have shown that a mosque was originally on that site; it was the Twin Towers that were the interlopers!"

Jack Reacher said...

"I thank J.C. Penney for the glasses, Mr. Soros for the cash, and Media Matters for the lotion."

JohnS1959 said...

Anthony Smithers of the Federal Bureau of Meaningless Statistics attempts to demonstrate the statistical probability that at least one of the First Family is not on vacation at any given time.

JohnS1959 said...

Keith Olbermann attempts to demonstrate the average MSNBC correspondent's grasp of the term 'statistical probability'.

molson said...

Ooooo. I broke another nail.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bart had always thought Milhouse seemed a little "swishy".

Son Of The Godfather said...

The new Glaad windBag... Now you can cram twice as much trash in the same amount of space!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"...and, for snatching away my victory in the "Most Masculine" award, I name Rachel Maddow as the Worst Person in the World!"

Mr Hankey said...

Let it be known that I've always preferred you folks over Hefty.

Mr Hankey said...

Why the hell do you people want to get married???

Spin said...

"Not one of you look 'this much' Glaad"

skinnydipinacid said...

"Before I became the left's bitch, my asshole was this small."

Submariner said...

Gavin, what exactly do you mean when you say "We're gonna start you out on the training mics?"

Submariner said...

To prove I have one and lay shame on all my detractors; THIS is a "modicum of intelligence," and now I'll put it back in my sock drawer for safekeeping.

Rodney Dill said...

"Pianissimo"

Rodney Dill said...

"Wonerful wonerful"

Matt the K said...

Hmmm...glaad...must be a Dutch word for 'annoying leftist goober'.