1. Auditions to become the spokesmodel for "Wheat Thicks" were quite competitive.
2. "Wow, what a coincidence! I was also banned from Sea World for confusing the tourists."
3. "When we're done, let's head over to Costco for a pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, a desk of Cheezits, and a hammock of cake."
4. "Don't you fret now, Lamonica, we'll find you a little gay friend to pal around with, too."
5. "Your father died? How sad. Let's party it up in Spain for a week."
Best of Double the U
"Does this make my ass look small?"
Best of Unscrupulous
Store Loudspeaker... "Due to very recent events and a fluke visit by the fire marshall, the store occupancy limit has just been lowered to four. Thank you!"
Best of dub
Laticia, how do I look in my new Levi's 1002's?
Best of Spin
How much junk could a junk trunk trunk if a junk trunk could trunk junk?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Wherever the four euphemisms - Plus-sized, Morbidly Obese, Rubenesque and Gargantua - get together, light actually bends.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Nancy: Do these pants make me look fat?
Charlene: No, all those damn twinkies make you look fat!
Best of molson
Stretch pants do stretch, but I think we're asking for a miracle here.
Best of Adriane
Few people know of Anthony Ray's pre-stardom work as a salesman in Lane Bryant...
Best of mega
We have FOUR women in the White House whose only job is to try on Michelle's clothes to make sure they'll fit? Jeez...this spending is out of control.