1. Auditions to become the spokesmodel for "Wheat Thicks" were quite competitive.
2. "Wow, what a coincidence! I was also banned from Sea World for confusing the tourists."
3. "When we're done, let's head over to Costco for a pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, a desk of Cheezits, and a hammock of cake."
4. "Don't you fret now, Lamonica, we'll find you a little gay friend to pal around with, too."
5. "Your father died? How sad. Let's party it up in Spain for a week."
Best of Double the U
"Does this make my ass look small?"
Best of Unscrupulous
Store Loudspeaker... "Due to very recent events and a fluke visit by the fire marshall, the store occupancy limit has just been lowered to four. Thank you!"
Best of dub
Laticia, how do I look in my new Levi's 1002's?
Best of Spin
How much junk could a junk trunk trunk if a junk trunk could trunk junk?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Wherever the four euphemisms - Plus-sized, Morbidly Obese, Rubenesque and Gargantua - get together, light actually bends.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Nancy: Do these pants make me look fat?
Charlene: No, all those damn twinkies make you look fat!
Best of molson
Stretch pants do stretch, but I think we're asking for a miracle here.
Best of Adriane
Few people know of Anthony Ray's pre-stardom work as a salesman in Lane Bryant...
Best of mega
We have FOUR women in the White House whose only job is to try on Michelle's clothes to make sure they'll fit? Jeez...this spending is out of control.
19 comments:
So *that's* why Hef wants to take Playboy private!
"So does this make my ass look small?"
Store Loudspeaker... "Due to very recent events and a fluke visit by the fire marshall, the store occupancy limit has just been lowered to four. Thank you!"
Laticia, how do I look in my new Levi's 1002's?
Preparing for a booty call, roll 'em in flour and go for the moist spot was never more true.
Vinney
"Do these jeans make my mom and sisters look fat?"
How much junk could a junk trunk trunk if a junk trunk could trunk junk?
VW - whilly not even with Extenze ©
Tiger's booty calls are not quite the same.
The very definition of BUTT UGLY.
-OR-
Responding to the obesity epidemic, designers renamed women's jeans sizes from Small, Medium and Large to Assteroid, Planetary and this Hubble- shot of some Black Holes.
-OR-
Wherever the four euphemisms - Plus-sized, Morbidly Obese, Rubenesque and Gargantua - get together, light actually bends.
-OR-
Fat is contagious.
Nancy: Do these pants make me look fat?
Charlene: No, all those damn twinkies make you look fat!
Who said something about GoodYear?
Stretch pants do stretch, but I think we're asking for a miracle here.
Keesha always looked bloated when she got her period.
Vinney
Bend and SNAP-AP-AP-ap-ap-ap-ap....
"Don't worry honey... nuthin' could make yo ass look fatter."
WV: spana (as in... yo ass could SPANA major ravine)
Few people know of Anthony Ray's pre-stardom work as a salesman in Lane Bryant...
We have FOUR women in the White House whose only job is to try on Michelle's clothes to make sure they'll fit? Jeez...this spending is out of control.
Honey, that ain't the Jersey Shore, that's the whole Atlantic Seaboard.
This is the sort of wardrobe malfunction our nipple-phobic government, the ACLU and PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Activewear) should be trying to stamp out!
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