Monday, August 09, 2010

A Commie Organizer Kisses a Gym Teacher

1. "You have very manly lips." "Thanks, Barack."

2. Shocked by the latest betrayal, the Teleprompter vowed revenge. The next press conference, he would feed Obama the entire script of Blazing Saddles.

3. Anyway you slice it, this counts as gay.

4. "Could you pretend to be a middle class taxpayer so I can spit in your mouth?"

5. Desperate to shore up his plummeting poll numbers, Obama tries re-Enacting the Kirk-Uhura kiss at the San Diego Trek Con.


Best of HLam
While M'chel vacations in Spain Barack acts on his impulse to follow the Doobies Bros. advice of "If you can't be, with the one you love, love the one you're with...."

Best of Dr. Doom
No longer content to merely bow to foreign dignitaries to show America's willingness to abase itself, Mr. Obama takes to making out with their grandparents.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
An uncomfortable and awkward silence, broken only by a smattering of disgusted groans, settled over the onlookers... as Obamalama gingerly returned Kagan's chewing gum.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Obama paused and pondered the question "Is kissing an ugly old lesbian the same as kissing a guy?"

Best of Spin
I see you tried the salmon.

Best of Jay Guevara
Obama thought bubble: "I'm _definitely_ billin' Soros extra for this."

Best of dadoctah
Is anyone besides me getting a little tired of Betty White turning up in freaking *everything*?

20 comments:

kg said...

I can't see TOTUS. What do I do next?

HLam said...

While M'chel vacations in Spain Barack acts on his impulse to follow the Doobies Bros. advice of "If you can't be, with the one you love, love the one you're with...."

Dr. Doom said...

No longer content to merely bow to foreign dignitaries to show America's willingness to abase itself, Mr. Obama takes to making out with their grandparents.

Dr. Doom said...

"No!", exclaimed the Queen, "I said kiss my a$$ and you can keep your damnable I-Pod too!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

KISS - Keep It Stupid, Simpleton

-OR-

An uncomfortable and awkward silence, broken only by a smattering of disgusted groans, settled over the onlookers... as Obamalama gingerly returned Kagan's chewing gum.

-OR-

The trend ain't your friend
Obamalama Thawtballoon - During my hype-filled campaign, stupid but pretty young white women tossed panties at me. After my coronation, wealthy middle-aged white women applauded and hugged me. Now I'm kissing old white cows while the wife's away.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Kagan's Thawtballoon - A moment on the lips, a lifetime on a viral video.

-OR-

TROJAN COMMERCIAL: Tested under the most extremely absurd conditions, our new Mouth Condom surpasses all other methods of cootie protection.

dub said...

Yes Mr Obama, they're real...but no, they're not spectacular.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The creator of the Girls Gone Wild videos regrets launching his Politicians Gone Wild series with an incredibly boring Obama Interracial Sex tape.

-OR-

Shared Thawtbubble - Mother always said there'd be days when you just have to suck it up and spit it back out.

-OR-

Mumbles the microphone didn't quite catch -
Piehole
Asshole

Word Verify: nomyol - nom nom y'all

Anonymous said...

"You know my mother was white"?

Vinney

dub said...

Why Mr President, I didnt know you were Jewish.

dub said...

Obama thought bubble "Sweet, I always wanted to score with a Thursday babe!"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Obama paused and pondered the question "Is kissing an ugly old lesbian the same as kissing a guy?"

molson said...

Things that make you hurl.

Kaptain Krude said...

HLam said...

While M'chel vacations in Spain Barack acts on his impulse to follow the Doobies Bros. advice of "If you can't be, with the one you love, love the one you're with...."

Uh, I think you mean Crosby, Stills, and Nash.

Unless this is some kind of inside joke that I'm not hip to.

Kaptain Krude said...

In a blatant attempt to be at the forefront of a trend, V the K starts Monday Vomits to go with Thursday Babes.

wv - unbent "Get unbent!", shouted the alternative universe Bart Simpson.

Spin said...

I see you tried the salmon.

Jay Guevara said...

Obama thought bubble: "I'm _definitely_ billin' Soros extra for this."

Jay Guevara said...

Question for the ages: who's more revolted?

Anonymous said...

Thought bubble:
"Man, we libs need to get some primo chicks. This is like sucking face with Mrs. Garrett on Facts of Life."

Vinney

dadoctah said...

Is anyone besides me getting a little tired of Betty White turning up in freaking *everything*?