Tuesday, August 24, 2010

You Have the Right to Remain Fabulous

AOS HQ via Al

1. Trailing in his re-election bid, Barney Frank tried to greet returning troops at the airport, like Bush did. None of them would shake his hand, though. Aside from one furtive glance from a flight attendant, no one would even make eye contact.

2. Thoroughly out of touch with reason, common sense, and the American People... the Obama Regime thought putting TSA under the Authority of the Safe School Czar was a great idea.

3. DHS Secretary Napolitano reassured congress, "The border have never been more secure, and there have never been fewer transvestites at our airports."

4. Grandpa just giggled when the lady at the counter asked, "Has any person other than you handled your bag?"

5. The Hare Krishnas finally receive a long-overdue makeover.

Best of Rodney Dill
Obviously flying AirTran Airways

Best of Dr. Doom
Having been banned from the airport restrooms, Senator Craig adopts a new approach.

Best of Vinney
Officer O'Malley was just blending in, going undercover at Key West International Airport. No arrests, but three guys did buy him coffee.

Best of dadoctah
Ladies and gentlemen, meet "Gramps" Lohan.

Best of Mr Hankey
Dontcha hate it when you forgot to pick up the clothes from the cleaners and you have to wear the stuff in the bottom of the drawer?

Best of prince of leaves
Buzz Aldrin's little-known and even-less-talked-about twin brother, Humm.

Best of prince of leaves
"I don't understand what the fuss is about," Jim thought. "They said I could bring on board one personal item and one strap-on..."

Best of Adriane
Ang Lee's remake of Pretty Woman was much, much cheaper to film in Thailand ...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Look what South Carolinians nominate for Senate seats! I stand a damn good chance of getting on the November ballot. Chosing a bus depot as my campaign office means I can literally press the flesh."

Best of Submariner
Barry O's instructions to Joe to "Dress appropriate for us to meet the Queen at Dulles" led to the mother of all Biden-gaffes...

26 comments:

sonicfrog said...

Revealed At Last - The Mormon Magic Underwear!

Rodney Dill said...

Say YES to duress!

Rodney Dill said...

Obviously flying AirTran Airways

Dr. Doom said...

Having been banned from the airport restrooms, Senator Craig adopts a new approach.

Dr. Doom said...

In an attempt to blend in better with local communities, the TSA debuted its new uniform in a ceremony at the San Francisco International Airport.

Dr. Doom said...

"Don't you get pissy with me mister", the disgruntled passenger screamed at the TSA agent. "I have a weapon of mass destruction and I DEMAND a strip search right now!"

dadoctah said...

Soldiers returning after a tour of duty in a war zone often come back...er...changed.

Rodney Dill said...

...and then Stacy and Clinton's heads exploded.

Rodney Dill said...

Bags fly free

molson said...

Looks like Britney cut her hair.

Anonymous said...

Officer O'Malley was just blending in, going undercover at Key West International Airport. No arrests, but three guys did buy him coffee.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

Ladies and gentlemen, meet "Gramps" Lohan.

Anonymous said...

Bruce was hoping, just praying for that full body cavity search at security.

Mr Hankey said...

Dontcha hate it when you forgot to pick up the clothes from the cleaners and you have to wear the stuff in the bottom of the drawer?

prince of leaves said...

Buzz Aldrin's little-known and even-less-talked-about twin brother, Humm.

prince of leaves said...

Ironically, it wasn't his attire that got him selected for special screening, but the peculiar buzzing sound coming from his carry-on luggage.

prince of leaves said...

"I don't understand what the fuss is about," Jim thought. "They said I could bring on board one personal item and one strap-on..."

Adriane said...

Ang Lee's remake of Pretty Woman was much, much cheaper to film in Thailand ...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Grandpa! There you are, you nawty nawty boy.

-OR-

When you reach a certain age, the "I don't give a flying f*ck" factor kicks in, whether dealing with rules and regulations or societal norms.

-OR-

Ed was quoted by Fox News saying, "Fetish? What fetish? Clearly, there's a vast and underrepresented fruitcake voting block out there and I aim to capture it!"

-OR-
"Look what South Carolinians nominate for Senate seats! I stand a damn good chance of getting on the November ballot. Chosing a bus depot as my campaign office means I can literally press the flesh."

Rodney Dill said...

Semper Psycho

Tim said...

*grumbles* WORST TESTICLE TUESDAY EVAH!!!

Rodney Dill said...

"Whaddya mean, Comic-Con isn't in Livonia?"

Submariner said...

Barry O's instructions to Joe to "Dress appropriate for us to meet the Queen at Dulles" led to the mother of all Biden-gaffes...

racerboy said...

OK, OK, we get it, VTK - you are The Sickest Intercourse on Teh Web!

racerboy said...

ORA: "Say, ya know where a guy could get a rub and a tug?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Excuse me, sir, but have you heard the Good News about Ron Paul?"