Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tiger Balling

Brender

1. Actually, the more humiliating part of Tiger's performance came later when Bob Barker beat the crap out of him.

2. "There's a tiny little person on the the golf ball. I think she wants to have sex with me." Tiger Hears a Ho.

3. And as John Steed pummeled him to death with the umbrella, Tiger spent his last moments regretting his hook-up with Emma Peel.

4. "What's the matter, little white ball? Don't you wanna be with your own kind?" Tiger regrets hiring Shirley Sherrod as his "Ball Whisperer" coach.

5. "If he can sink this putt, I bet him and a pack of his buddies are gonna gang rape some white woman who looks like a f**king pig in heat ." Mel Gibson's first and last day as an ESPN announcer.

Best of HLim
"Nope, not mine. Elin must have flung my left nut a little further."


Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
See, Mr President, this is how you bow to a golf ball..

Best of mega
"How the eff did you get so into my OODA loop?"

Best of dub
Andrew Sullivans search for "Black men giving oral to white balls" was yet another disappointment.

Best of Buzzhead
Race you to the hole! Ready, set ...

18 comments:

HLim said...

"Nope, not mine. Elin must have flung my left nut a little further."

mega said...

"Hey this ball just called me a n*gger and demanded a blow job!". Great, as if we didn't have enough problems with Mel Gibson, now it turns out he's a shape-shifter.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

see, Mr President, this is how you bow to a golf ball..

blue said...

Uhh Tiger, when Ralph Kramden said "address the ball" he really did not mean to say "Hello Ball!"

Double the U said...

Nope, kinda looks like mine but I am sure my ex-wife still has both of them.

Festivus said...

You little son of a bitch ball! Why don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME?

Jay Guevara said...

"Are you sure Mecca is this way?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"...and then that little white girl told me she wanted it bent over the table, like a dirty whore! Cool story, huh, bro?" Tiger's therapist had some explaining to do when the microphones picked up Tiger's address to the ball.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A highly unorthodox position, perhaps, but perfect for peeking up the skirts of women seated on the gallery lawn.

-OR-

Tiggie's Thawtbubble: What the heck, I'm already a cheater and this just needs to move a half-inch. Steady... steady... deep breath, mouth closed, sharp exhale through flared nostrils and pray the sinuses don't lob a snotbubble. That's a picture I don't want on Playstation!

-OR-

Tiger Pose Thawtbubble: Ah, that reminds me, on the way back to the hotel I have to pick up some lube for the hooker's strap-on. Damn thing hurts like a SOB.

-OR-

National Inkwirer uses this photo with caption: When Tiger Farts, Everybody Listens

-OR-

FORE!!!
Great stop action pic of Tiger just after Mickelson's "accidental" hook shot catches him square in the temple. Little white ball looks totally innocent, but you can't hear it chuckling.

Jack Reacher said...

Tiger practices for the position he'll be assuming in his upcoming divorce proceedings.

mega said...

"How the eff did you get so into my OODA loop?"

mega said...

"I'm black. So go in the hole. You owe it to me." Sometimes the Obama strategy works, sometimes it doesn't.

dub said...

Andrew Sullivans search for "Black men giving oral to white balls" was yet another disappointment.

Blondie said...

Blow Job: UR doin it rong.

Anonymous said...

Since his separation, Tiger's trying to find his game.

Vinney

Jay Guevara said...

"Hey, this green smells funny."

Buzzhead said...

Race you to the hole! Ready, set ...

molson said...

Suck the white off a golf ball? I still don't know what that Olbermann is talking about.