1. "Yo! Dumbass! I found you one of them white women you're always looking for."
2. "What has two thumbs and no fashion sense? This wookie right here."
3. M'Chel often relieves stress by walking on the beach and firing an imaginary .50 Cal at all the white people.
4. "Yo, Queen Sappho, I’m really happy for you. Imma let you finish. But Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.”
5. Yo, M'Chel. Rorschach called. He wants his face-mask back.
Best of Double the U
When asked to be an interrupter for the deaf, Michelle just screamed the words and gave a thumbs up.
Best of Vinney
In a rare Girls Gone Wild video, an excited Michelle Obama gives two thumbs up to the man with erection from the previous beach post.
Threadwinner: Matt the K
Kathy Bates and Diana Ross star in "Misery II: Ankle Breakers in Paradise"
Does this microphone make my goiter look smaller?
Best of Jack Reacher
"Kill some crackers, and their babies! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"
Best of Passionate Conservative
Me sticking both thumbs up in the air in this economy makes as much sense as me standing nest to this obviously obese old hag of a...wait, you are a woman, aren't you?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Unlike her wimpy husband, when a wharf rat ran across her podium, she caught it, swallowed it whole and gave the stunned audience a 2 thumbs up.
Best of Submariner
...and finally, I am pleased to announce that a new shipment of drapes was just sent to the White House.
Best of Dr. Doom
"Look at what that gulf water did to my dress - we're going to Maine for vacation", said the First Lady.
Best of dadoctah
Frankie and Annette have really let themselves go.