Monday, July 05, 2010

Redneck Hillbillies in Trouble

Steve O

1. NBC's miniseries about the Palin family was about what one would expect from the MSM.

2. Mike Huckabee's family is delighted to learn he's running again.

3. Ang Lee's remake of Saint Joan was where the caption meme really jumped the shark.

4. "Look, maw! Ah got wood!"

5. Desperate Housewives - Arkansas, was an odd choice for expanding the franchise.

Best of Matt the K
Gol Dang! Call the Fire Department-- Scooter done shat a pile o' wood!

Best of (red, white &) blue
If I get one of those stars & stripes bikinis, maybe Cletus will pay attention to me!

Best of Jack Reacher
"There it is again! It sounds like some kind of man-bear-pig, and it's askin' fer a massage."

Best of Adriane
Well, if yer ol'man hid the new Twilight DVD under his 'wood pile' and wanted you to 'chop some kindelin' before he gave it back ...
Well, durn tootin' you'd be a might angered too!!!

Best of molson
Just give them their guns back. Seriously, they're far less dangerous when they have something to cling to.

Best of mega
The Hee-Haw Reunion Special was a big success, but they really should've replaced the eye-candy girls with some new talent.

Best of Double the U
STOP! STOP! Take off those boots before you come in this house mister!

Best of metalgarth
CMT's video for "Light My Fire" left much to be desired.

Threadwinner GregMan
"Maw, pappy done looked at his 401K agin and sez he's gone set hisself on fire!"

Best of mpur
And that's when them Duke boys realized they was in a heap o' trouble.

Best of Submariner
Pa thinks that ol' wash tub's a frakkin' tambereen, an' you ain't gon' believe what he's playin' it with!

Best of Rodney Dill
"Hey y'all we're suin' Metamucil."

42 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

"Whar did dat banjer music come frum?"

Anonymous said...

Rehearsing everyday, Zeke just knew he'd make the cut on "America's Got Talent".

Vinney

Double the U said...

YOUR blood is boiling? I'll show you how to get your blood boiling.

Matt the K said...

Gol Dang! Call the Fire Department-- Scooter done shat a pile o' wood!

Passionate Conservative said...

Paw's been in the still agin...

(red, white &) blue said...

If I get one of those stars & stripes bikinis, maybe Cletus will pay attention to me!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Now, ol' Festus, he cain't be bothered with all that thar nonsense them city slickers go through for family barbecues... carefully stacking coals, wadding paper, spritzing lighter fluid. Time comes, he just eats some of ma's chili, sets hisself on a cord of wood and lights a fart or two.

-OR-

Metaphor for Aesop's ant and grasshopper fable? -
"I's jest chopped all this wood for winter, and you girly grasshoppers ain't gettin one piece to heat some golldarned bathwater!"

WordVerify: diansuct - yes indeed she did, and word spread quickly through her high school

curly said...

Pa Kettle confuses an empty beer keg for the cold, clammy, fat ass of Ma Kettle.

curly said...

Apparently the porn producers in Arkansas have yet to receive any stimulus money.

Jack Reacher said...

"Here comes Andy Sullivan now, Pa!"

Jack Reacher said...

"There it is again! It sounds like some kind of man-bear-pig, and it's askin' fer a massage."

Adriane said...

Well, if yer ol'man hid the new Twilight DVD under his 'wood pile' and wanted you to 'chop some kindelin' before he gave it back ...

Well, durn tootin' you'd be a might angered too!!!

divine miss m said...

There's a town that needs a bowling alley.

Steve O said...

There's a story here, but for the life of me I just can't figure out what it could possibly be.

dadoctah said...

The flower children of the 1960s: Some fled to Canada to avoid the draft. Others retreated to self-sustaining communes. Still others buckled under and joined the very same corporate world they originally rejected.

Almost fifty years later, we're going to look in on them and see if we can figure out which is which.

molson said...

Just give them their guns back. Seriously, they're far less dangerous when they have something to cling to.

molson said...

Aw shoot Clem. That's not how you get wood. Here let me shows ya.

molson said...

On this episode of "The Peckerwoods", Ma Peckerwood spies what might be an illegal and prepares to alert the rest of the clan.

mega said...

The Hee-Haw Reunion Special was a big success, but they really should've replaced the eye-candy girls with some new talent.

divine miss m said...

"Jebediah, quit spittin' cherry pits at Grandpappy, y'hear? He was up on the roof, likkered up on 'shine and firin' meatballs at us from an antique blunderbuss agin' and we jes' got him down; cain't you see we done got enough goin' on 'roun' here already?!"

Verif. word: abifyin.
As in, "Grandpappy's out front abifyin' hisself on the woodpile where everyone can see him agin."

Double the U said...

STOP! STOP! Take off those boots before you come in this house mister!

metalgarth said...

The living original member of Lynyrd Skynyrd tries to relax at home but his last remaining groupies have other plans

metalgarth said...

CMT's video for "Light My Fire" left much to be desired.

dadoctah said...

I just *knew* "Three's Company: The Motion Picture" was a bad idea.

Submariner said...

Grandpa Portnoy's complaint.

Submariner said...

OAK WUD AGED IN BARELS: UR DUIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

Tonight on "Hardball;"
We debate why Red States are even allowed a voice in the election process. But first, PLEASE listen to this message from our last remaining sponsor, MoveOn.com

Submariner said...

Lake Woebegone as reimagined by Larry the Cable Guy.

Rodney Dill said...


I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK...

GregMan said...

"Pappy's all upset over the value o' his 401K and he's gone set fire to hisself agin!"

GregMan said...

The new Upper Middle Class after Obamanomics really kicks in.

GregMan said...

"Maw, pappy done looked at his 401K agin and sez he's gone set hisself on fire!"

mpur said...

And that's when them Duke boys realized they was in a heap o' trouble.

Dr. Doom said...

"Bill Clinton you say?", Ma asked the reporter from the big city, "Yeah we knowed him - strange little feller, that 'un"...

Double the U said...

There is always a difference between the movies version of hot passionate threesomes and what you usually end up with.

Submariner said...

Pa thinks that ol' wash tub's a frakkin' tambereen, an' you ain't gon' believe what he's playin' it with!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

LOOKIT THIS! By crackies, we's done struck it rich fer sure! Pa's invented an energy efficient furnace that'll qualify for one of them thar gubmint energy star ratings!!

Submariner said...

Dagnabbit! Pa et beans ever day this week - that'll make that pile a wood burn too hot in the still and spile my 'shine!

Rodney Dill said...

"Damn, Gramps been hanging out widdem other beavers again."

Rodney Dill said...

How much wood would wood Chuck chuck of wood Chuck could chuck wood.

Rodney Dill said...

Pinchin' a Log... ur doin it rong

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey y'all we're suin' Metamucil."