Friday, July 23, 2010

Mega Streisand

Divine Miss M


1. Her comeback tour took an Ozbournian turn when Babs bit the head off Tina Fey.

2. Desperate for publicity when his post-Lost career tanked, Jorge Garcia went the Larry Wachowski route.

3. Barbra Streisand's new list of concert demands include lily petals in her toilet bowl, no looking her in the eye, and the immediate execution of anyone who mistakes her for Chaz Bono.

4. "Why do people keep offering me delicious cake and what does 'Om nom nom nom' mean?"

5. So, if a Thursday babe with a slight belly roll represents the Bush deficit, the Obama deficit would be represented by what?

Best of Vinney
Mickey Rourke looks terrible.

Best of champaignken
Shamu has really let himself go.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
If Kirstie Alley and Barbras Sreisand ever decided to bump uglies, seismometers on the other side of the globe would wiggle.

Best of dadoctah
"Don't you know who I am?! I'm Jonah Hex's stepmother, goddammit!"

Best of dadoctah
Aiieee!!! Gojira!!!

now with implied South Park reference

Best of Steve O
As long as she doesn't sing, I'm cool with whatever.

Best of Jack Reacher
Apparently after "A Star Is Born" it went supernova.

Best of Jay Guevara
BS (!) thought bubble: "I wish those goddamned Greenpeace people would mind their own business."

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
I thought Lowell George was dead?

Best of mega
In retrospect, "The Way We Were" turned out to be be a rueful look back at a world before 24-hour pizza delivery and 1 gallon "family" buckets at Baskin Robbins.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
You don't bring me Twinkies anymore...

Best of Submariner
Hang on, Lindsay; Mama Cass is comin' to your rescue!

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mickey Rourke looks terrible.

Vinney

blue said...

I'll bet Elliot Gould is really, really, really glad that he is no longer Mr. Barbra Streisand.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"& tell Barrack that no matter how much I love him, Michele's leftovers are no longer enough for me!"

champaignken said...

Shamu has really let himself go.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

If Kirstie Alley and Barbras Sreisand ever decided to bump uglies, seismometers on the other side of the globe would wiggle.

-OR-

Nation's First Reverse Liposuction Procedure Deemed a Success
Streisand now admits being way too vague when she rudely barked a demand to her plastic surgeon - "Oh, and do something that diverts attention from my nose!" - just before drifting off to sleep.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Streisand Thawtbubble (as she stares enviously at the bikini clad Thursday girl below her): Enjoy it while it lasts, sister, cause growing old is a b*tch.

-OR-

Ironic Streisand Song Titles
"I've Got A Crush on You" (warning to next love interest!)
"Lost Inside of You" (song about her inner child?)
"I won't be the one to let go" (of what, the last piece of pie?)
"Ding-dong! The Witch is Dead" (don't know about the witch, but she's apparently killed enough Ding Dongs)
"I Finally Found Someone" (Call 911, she just sat on him)
"He Touched Me" (but she didn't feel it, fat doesn't have nerve endings)

jj said...

Blame it on Bush

dadoctah said...

"Don't you know who I am?! I'm Jonah Hex's stepmother, goddammit!"

dadoctah said...

Aiieee!!! Gojira!!!

now with implied South Park reference

Steve O said...

As long as she doesn't sing, I'm cool with whatever.

Jack Reacher said...

I see "Funny Girl" has become "Fanny Girl."

Jack Reacher said...

Hello Dolly Madison!

Jack Reacher said...

I thought Joe Walsh was taller.

Jack Reacher said...

Apparently after "A Star Is Born" it went supernova.

Jack Reacher said...

Does the mirror really have two faces, or is it just a wide-angle job?

Jay Guevara said...

BS (!) thought bubble: "I wish those goddamned Greenpeace people would mind their own business."

wv: yarlybu - somehow that just seems to be the perfect adjective for that look.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

I thought Lowell George was dead?

Spin said...

"Mammaries"

and not the Thursday kind.

Merovign said...

Somebody call Robert Smith! We need Gothra!

divine miss m said...

Bubbe needs to lay off the gefilte fish, already.

mega said...

In retrospect, "The Way We Were" turned out to be be a rueful look back at a world before 24-hour pizza delivery and 1 gallon "family" buckets at Baskin Robbins.

Oiao said...

FUGLY and Mean!

Jay Guevara said...

Not a caption, but I like the hair color of Streisand's flunky. Very lifelike.

jj said...

What "Goodyear" tattoo on my side?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'll take 'the only thing that might make me feel sorry for James Brolin' for $1000, Alex."

Jack Reacher said...
Apparently after "A Star Is Born" it went supernova.

SOTG = coughing from laughter :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Funny, Girl?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Coffee Tawk: "Her thighs are like buttah... literally"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Babs: "I'm so tired of walking... You're my assistant, is there anything that can help?"

GalPal: "Hello, Dolly!"

*get it?... like a floor dolly?... Hah, I crack myself up.*

Son Of The Godfather said...

You don't bring me Twinkies anymore...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Subby, your prom date's... Oh, never mind, I can't even finish it.

molson said...

I thought meth was suppose to be slimming.

Submariner said...

SOTG - I hope you threw up a little just for thinking that, even if you didn't finish it...

Submariner said...

Fanny Girl

Submariner said...

Hang on, Lindsay; Mama Cass is comin' to your rescue!

Submariner said...

You do NOT want to get in the way when Babs has worked up a head of steam for her Krispy Kremes!

Submariner said...

"I'll only be a minute, Glynda. Have the cattle hauler wait..."