Monday, July 19, 2010

Make a Wish

Racerboy

1. Robert Byrd's funeral takes a surprisingly Iranian turn.

2. "Dammit, Lou, I know the zombies have him, but we can still save his fabulous vintage Bugle Boys."

3. And then Andrew Sullivan woke up.

4. As he was unceremoniously dumped from yet another blog, it began to dawn on V the K that no one gives a crap about his political opinions.

5. After 11 anarchist protesters filed Police brutality lawsuits and the ACLU intervened on Freedom of Speech grounds, the police announced their new policy of non-interference in human sacrifices.

Best of dadoctah
Stretch Armstrong has really let himself go.

Best of Adriane
It's true! Fat people ARE harder to kidnap...

Best of GregMan
Y'know, guys, it IS possible to be a cannibal and still have manners...

Best of divine miss m
Crowd-surfing at OzzFest sure didn't prepare Ian for this.

Threadwinner blue
"Jesus Use Me" he cried out as the ObamaTroopers pulled him away from the Tea Party

Best of The Watcher
The hottest item on 2010's Christmas List: Full-size Stretch Armstrong!

Best of Jack Reacher
"An exposed abdomen! Here's a way to make $540!" thinks Al Gore's one-time masseuse.

Best of mega
"BMI appears to be 31. Good work, team. Let's move on to the next house."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Too late, it dawns on Irwin Fignottle that yelling, "You want a piece of me? You want a piece of ME?!" is not the wisest choice of words in this situation.

Best of Submariner
Slowly the crowd made way for the Samurai Judge to step forward and pass sentence...

Best of JohnS1959
In other news, Government agents today began to implment the President's obesity 'final solution' outside a McDonalds franchise in Peoria...

Best of JohnS1959
Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated!

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Looks like those new Obama taxes are starting to kick in.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

Stretch Armstrong has really let himself go.

Anonymous said...

On the next Operation Repo, Lou and Matt repossess some deadbeat's cotton dockers.

Vinney

Adriane said...

It's true! Fat people ARE harder to kidnap...

mega said...

Seriously, if white males just stayed away from polling stations, this kind of shit wouldn't be necessary.

GregMan said...

Y'know, guys, it IS possible to be a cannibal and still have manners...

GregMan said...

Chiropracty under ObamaCare was about what everyone expected.

GregMan said...

"His pelvis is about to snap! Get ready to make a wish!"

divine miss m said...

Crowd-surfing at OzzFest sure didn't prepare Ian for this.

blue said...

"Jesus Use Me" he cried out as the ObamaTroopers pulled him away from the Tea Party

blue said...

the Vatican Swiss Guard was not happy with the accused when all 3 of the Faith Tones turned up pregnant

The Watcher said...

The hottest item on 2010's Christmas List: Full-size Stretch Armstrong!

Jack Reacher said...

"If I was six inches taller, my height and weight would be proportionate." Louis gets his wish.

Jack Reacher said...

The IRS and the U.S. National Health Service joust in a good-natured way over possession of a taxpayer.

Jack Reacher said...

"An exposed abdomen! Here's a way to make $540!" thinks Al Gore's one-time masseuse.

mega said...

"BMI appears to be 31. Good work, team. Let's move on to the next house."

Oiao said...

Lenny's claim that he actually was wearing the imfamous 'Mom's Jeans' ,from that dreadful first pitch, caused a bit of a problem at the rally.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Quaint Olde Worlde Practice
The jackbooted thugs were eager to draw and quarter the taunting protester, but things went downhill when traffic gridlock delayed the police horses.

-OR-

The Democratic National Guard
As a double dip Recession slipped into full blown Depression, Obamalama abandoned all election year promises and circled the wagons around 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

-OR-

Richard Gere Syndrome
When V's Squirrel doesn't want to come out of hiding, there's not a damn thing the victim, the first responders, nor a rectal forceps-wielding proctologist with a 12-ct pack of Fleet enemas can do to extract the fuzzy sucker.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Metaphor for the Decline of the US
Let a brave state try to do what a corrupt congress won't and like a pack of rabid wolves both our minorities-pandering govt and bleeding heart liberals pounce on the nonconformist.
(and the 4th estate monopoly is filming it for future reality show syndication)

-OR-

As the economy stalls and unemployment benefits disappear, the motto of roving packs of starving citizens switches from "hope and change" to "got any change?"

-OR-

Too late, it dawns on Irwin Fignottle that yelling, "You want a piece of me? You want a piece of ME?!" is not the wisest choice of words in this situation.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In a land where the phrase - "freedom of speech" - is barely given lip service anymore, V the Kat serves as an object lesson to those who still put bumper stickers on their cars.

-OR-

Lonely heart George Spinzldinger was showing off an expensive bottle of sex pheromones aquired in Chinatown to friends at the lodge when he accidentally spilled a copious amount. Pandemonium ensued.
Update: George is now dating several cops and fellow Elks.

Submariner said...

Word to the wise:
You do NOT want to ask for "human growth hormone" under Obamamcare.

Submariner said...

no. No. NO! I only asked "how can I stretch a DOLLAR in this economy?"

Submariner said...

Evidently, some captioner's take greater umbrage at dub's "0 BMI fetish" than others...

Submariner said...

Slowly the crowd made way for the Samurai Judge to step forward and pass sentence...

JohnS1959 said...

In other news, Government agents today began to implment the President's obesity 'final solution' outside a McDonalds franchise in Peoria...

JohnS1959 said...

Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Cop Thawtbubble - One more tug on his jeans should do it. Then, if the judge tosses the resisting arrest charge we can hit him with an indecent exposure charge.

-OR-

Save the Beached Whale... you're doing it WRONG!

-OR-

IMHO, having meter maids in full riot gear swarm jaywalkers is a bit over the top even in cash-strapped Los Angeles.

sonicfrog said...

Despite the overwhelming scientific evidence that this doesn't work, Russel, capitulating to his overwhelming desire to be taller, decide to have a go of it anyway.

Merovign said...

Okay, let go in 3... 2... 1... NOW!