Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Mahmoud and His Robot Friend

Gateway Pundit on a Tip from Mr. Right

1. "And when it blows up in the middle of a bunch of Jews, it gets 72 fembots in the Afterlife."

2. "What? You meatbags built me to be a Suicide Bot? Bite my shiny metal ass!"

3. ORA: "Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply." "Better do what he says, Mahmoud."

4. "He became self-aware fourteen hours ago. Twelve hours ago, he denounced the Koran as a load of crap."

5. "We don't have all day, Mahmoud. Is this, or is this not, the droid you were looking for?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Yes, Mr. President, stains wipe right off of it. Why do you ask?"

Best of Dr. Doom
The Sargon Ambassador arrived with offers of technology beyond Earth's wildest dreams. As a result of an unfortunate detour, he met with Mahmoud first. The invasion fleet will arrive in two weeks...

Best of HLam
"No, I will *not* give you my jacket and trousers to try on the robot."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
This looks way too much like allah. Execute the inventor and bring this abomination... and a tube of KY jelly... to my personal quarters ♩ ♬ immediately! ♫ ♪ ♪

Best of dadoctah
I *knew* all along that the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers were in league with the terrorists!

Best of Matt the K
And sir--you'll like this--with the mildest provocation, he too transforms into a douchebag.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"But this sex toy looks nothing like a goat!"

Threadwinner dub
You fools! This infidel robot does not have a compliant haircut!

Best of dadoctah
"I swear to Allah, if it sings 'It's A Small World' one more time, I'm issuing a fatwa on Michael Eisner!"

Assistant Threadwinner GregMan
"It has the Fourth Law of Robotics, 'KILL THE JOOS', programmed in already, right?"

Best of Spin
Ok, nine goats, two boys and my wife. Now let's shake on it.

Best of Submariner
"...and it comes with 17 different hand attachments to take care of whatever project you have in mind."
"Throw in a '14" personal massager' attachment and I'll take a gross of them."

Best of Vinney
Just before he died, Billie May hawks his latest invention- the robo-mullah to Mahmud AHMADINEJAD.

37 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Bring it to your room, and bring a bottle of lotion? Sure, Mr. President."

Jack Reacher said...

"Yes, Mr. President, stains wipe right off of it. Why do you ask?"

Jack Reacher said...

"And the face shield includes a built-in Teleprompter? Ha! Obama will be so jealous!"

Dr. Doom said...

The Sargon Ambassador arrived with offers of technology beyond Earth's wildest dreams. As a result of an unfortunate detour, he met with Mahmoud first. The invasion fleet will arrive in two weeks...

HLam said...

"No, I will *not* give you my jacket and trousers to try on the robot."

HLam said...

"See, I have much better 'robot' moves than the actual robot."

metalgarth said...

If you fold his legs back like this, put his arms here you can transform him into a uranium enriching machine and the UN will be none the wiser.

Anonymous said...

"And best of all, sir, we programmed him to be anti-Semetic. That's why we call him Mel. You know Mel Gibson."

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This looks way too much like allah. Execute the inventor and bring this abomination... and a tube of KY jelly... to my personal quarters ♩ ♬ immediately! ♫ ♪ ♪

-OR-

Oh, what a thoughtful gift, a little boy I can play with after a long grueling day of posturing and bloviating! If it sings Dancing Queen you all get to live another day.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bald is NOT Beautiful in Iran
Tut tut, Abdul, we're going to have to torture you at least a little bit because this is not wearing one of the Veil and Modesty Festival's new holy hairstyles for robots.

-OR-

Good News: We can crank out a super army of droids in a matter of weeks, sir!
Bad News: Due to the immutable Laws of Robotics all they'll be able to do is hurl insults at the Jewish settlers.

dadoctah said...

I *knew* all along that the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers were in league with the terrorists!

Matt the K said...

Mahmoud and gang greedily accept the Trojan Robot, not knowing that Agent Double-o Three-and-a-half, a.k.a. "Mickey the Midget" was lurking inside.

Matt the K said...

And sir--you'll like this--with the mildest provocation, he too transforms into a douchebag.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"But this sex toy looks nothing like a goat!"

dub said...

You fools! This infidel robot does not have a compliant haircut!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Final Thawtballoons
Why is this thing TICKING??
.
.
.
KABOOOOOOM!!!

Apologies to Reacher for missing his post on private rooms & lubes!

Double the U said...

What is this little "Made in China" sticker on the back?

dadoctah said...

"I swear to Allah, if it sings 'It's A Small World' one more time, I'm issuing a fatwa on Michael Eisner!"

GregMan said...

"It has the Fourth Law of Robotics, 'KILL THE JOOS', programmed in already, right?"

Army of Dad said...

"I, for one, welcome our robot overlords."

Army of Dad said...

We call it the Turban 5000, it was the Muhammed 2010, but we didn't want any riots.

GregMan said...

"What the Allah does this mean, 'a fatal exception has occured'?"

Army of Dad said...

"One more time HAL and it's bang zoom to the moon!"

Anonymous said...

"Great? Are you kidding? Sir, this robot is so great, it can even alter those long sleaves on your jacket."

Vinney

The Watcher said...

'Finally,' Mahmoud thought, 'a sycophantic follower who is shorter than I am!'

Spin said...

Ok, nine goats, two boys and my wife. Now let's shake on it.

Submariner said...

The day MTV jumped the shark.

Submariner said...

I understand "doing whatever it takes" to get your career back on track, but why is Leno hawking robots to dictators?

Submariner said...

"...so; no more car swarms?"
"No excellency, we will now have 'bot swarms."

Submariner said...

"...and it comes with 17 different hand attachments to take care of whatever project you have in mind."
"Throw in a '14" personal massager' attachment and I'll take a gross of them."

Submariner said...

He worked perfectly until that Great Satan inspector AoM 'rode tested' him...

Anonymous said...

Just before he died, Billie May hawks his latest invention- the robo-mullah to Mahmud AHMADINEJAD.

Vinney

Jay Guevara said...

Guy on left: "Hey, how come this thing is circumsized?"

dadoctah said...

"He-e-ey, Macarena!"

molson said...

You'll just love this Mahmoud. I even programmed it to milk your mom.

mega said...

"No, really, Mahmoud. This IS the 12th imam. Sorry."

mega said...

Iqbal prayed silently to Allah that Aminedinejad wouldn't realize the super-advanced technology could've only come from one place and notice the label, 'Made in Israel'.