Wednesday, July 21, 2010

In the Crawlspace of the Dreamhouse

Inappropriate Barbies

1. Van Der Sloot Barbie comes with unique accessories.

2. Signs your eight year old daughter is not taking the divorce as well as you had hoped.

3. Joss Whedon's TV show concepts just get weirder and weirder.

4. And as they cleaned out Olbermann's dressing room, they found even more bondage Barbies with names like "Sarah" "Malkin" and "Megyn Kelly" Sharpied on their backs.

5. I am not sure exactly with this phase of Mel Gibson's therapy was meant to accomplish.

Best of blue
Bondage Barbie was taken off the shelf when Kmart could not identify Mattels target audience.

Best of dub
Sure, it seems cruel...but look how it helps them stay so skinny.

Best of mega
The new USDA dolls designed to help employees understand how to interface with avocacy groups were a big hit.

Best of Matt the K
United victims of Bennetton.

Best of Spin
V the K yelled: Shut up!
I'll untie you on Thursday.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Little Jimmy's claim that he was just practicing knot-tying for a boy scout merit badge pretty much ensured a court-ordered 72-hour psyche eval.

Best of Dr. Doom
The NOW announces its new Anne Coulter line of right wing female action figures.

Best of mega
It's like watching the guests on the O'Reilly Factor, but without having to hit the mute button.

Best of mega
Following the Sharpton-Jackson Lee protest, Mattel reluctantly agreed to be more racially inclusive in all of its sadomasochistic rape fantasy products.

Best of Steve O
The last hours of a severed-head Barbie.

Best of dadoctah
"I wouldn't worry about it, Mrs Simmons. Lots of eight-year-old boys go through a brief phase of playing with dolls, so your little Richard is just--wait, what?"

Best of molson
Nine out of ten women in Berkley found this demeaning enough to actually want to do it.

17 comments:

blue said...

Bondage Barbie was taken off the shelf when Kmart could not identify Mattels target audience.

dub said...

Finally, women that know how to shut the f*ck up.

dub said...

Sure, it seems cruel...but look how it helps them stay so skinny.

mega said...

Practice toys for kids in Democratic Party HQ play rooms: "American Public dolls"

mega said...

The new USDA dolls designed to help employees understand how to interface with avocacy groups were a big hit.

Matt the K said...

The view below from Buffalo Ken's living room.

Matt the K said...

United victims of Bennetton.

Spin said...

V the K yelled:
Shut up!
I'll untie you on Thursday.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Home Sweet & Quiet Home"
Using a few simple visual aids and a big stick, Smitty taught his kids from Day 1 that it's better to be seen and not heard.

-OR-

Coincidentally, the Stop Bulimia Now group and the Anti-Feminism group both use the same handouts.

-OR-

Baby Steps
BDSM Anonymous approves unconventional 12-step program to wean Shibari practitioners off their addiction.
FWIW, Step 7 involves macrame lessons, dental floss and the addict's own toes.

-OR-

Little Jimmy's claim that he was just practicing knot-tying for a boy scout merit badge pretty much ensured a court-ordered 72-hour psyche eval.

Dr. Doom said...

The NOW announces its new Anne Coulter line of right wing female action figures.

dub said...

With their mouths being taped shut, I have good news and bad news for Ken.

mega said...

It's like watching the guests on the O'Reilly Factor, but without having to hit the mute button.

mega said...

Following the Sharpton-Jackson Lee protest, Mattel reluctantly agreed to be more racially inclusive in all of its sadomasochistic rape fantasy products.

Steve O said...

You just know the MFM will try to pin this on GI Joe, when everybody knows it's that foggat Ken.

Steve O said...

The last hours of a severed-head Barbie.

dadoctah said...

"I wouldn't worry about it, Mrs Simmons. Lots of eight-year-old boys go through a brief phase of playing with dolls, so your little Richard is just--wait, what?"

molson said...

Nine out of ten women in Berkley found this demeaning enough to actually want to do it.