1. Under the Safe Schools Czar, requirements for a Presidential Medal of Fitness have changed somewhat.
2. "Limber up, loosen that hamstring, and I'm ready for my date with Perez Hilton."
3. "Dang, none of those Marines even gave me a second look. Well, these pumps were a waste of $200."
4. "Well, even in these shoes, I should be able to outrun Congressman Frank considering his pants are around his ankles and he has a full boner."
5. So, what's Ang Lee remakin' here? Chariots of Fire or Pretty Woman?
Best of mpur
Huh. I didn't know they made Huggies Pull-Ups in that size.
Best of Dr. Doom
Steve misunderstood what his friends meant when they invited him to a 'drag race'. All hell broke loose when Bubba and JimBob stopped by to pick him up.
Best of sonicfrog
Those who are complaining about J. Michael Straczynski's recent changes in Wonder Woman's super hero attire should thank their lucky stars that John Waters was dumped from the project early on.
Best of Jack Reacher
He was doing an okay "I'm a little teapot" until he showed off his "spout." His trial date is next Wednesday.
Best of divine miss m
The captain of the school embroidery team, all grown up.
Best of Matt the K
Mrs. Sarkozy greets a Paris morning sans wig and makeup.
Best of americanelephant
Manolo Blahniks? Check. Hibiscus Depands? Check. Raphael limbers up just before taking to the catwalk at Democrat Congressional Aide Fashion Week.
Best of Steve O
Hmmm. Something about this dude strikes me as a little bit gay.
Oh yeah -- he's a runner.
Best of Adriane
"I'm too sexy for this race ..."