Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Guy Who Wants to Smash Conservatives into Plate Glass Windows


1. "So, that's a vagina? Ewwwww!"

2. "Nah, this doesn't seem like anything I'd be interested in. I'll just become a blogger."

3. "Oh, look, more happy couples representing the patriarchy's heteronormative oppression." (Sniff) "Why won't anyone love me?"

4. "A-ha! So, women only like appealing men. That's why I never get any."

5. ORA: "This book still hasn't explained why people are always asking me what it is I can't face."

Best of sonicfrog
Hmmmm, he needs more dating help than I realized!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thawtbubble of 27-year old Amish runaway - Wow, if Papa hadn't left this book in the latrine, by now I could be married with kids and not even know where they came from!

Best of GregMan
"So according to this, it's totally OK to get off by rubbing the crotch of a cardboard cutout of Comrade President. Goody!"

Best of Dr. Doom
Why liberalism is a self correcting problem...

Best of Submariner
"Me time" in 3... 2... 1...

17 comments:

Spin said...

Hmmm, straight people stick it in there too.

sonicfrog said...

Hmmmm, he needs more dating help than I realized!

Ver Word: Comizes

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Candid photo of David Schwimmer on the last day filming Friends confirms that despite 10 years of scripts, he never really comprehended the show's basic premise.

-OR-

Professional spammer Kurt Jurkough gets some of his best fake viagra sales ideas from Rebublican sex ed manuals.

-OR-

Thawtbubble of 27-year old Amish runaway - Wow, if Papa hadn't left this book in the latrine, by now I could be married with kids and not even know where they came from!

-OR-

Cover photo is addressed in Chapter 7's Top Ways to Get to 2nd Base - #9: "I'm gonna jump off this cliff if you don't let me touch your boobies!"

Rodney Dill said...

...if you do or if you don't.

Serr8d said...

"I've got to try that. Andrew? Sully? get off of Charles Johnson and come in here now!"

Submariner said...

I don't get it - what does a bathtub have to do with dating?

GregMan said...

"Mom???"

GregMan said...

"So according to this, it's totally OK to get off by rubbing the crotch of a cardboard cutout of Comrade President. Goody!"

GregMan said...

"Oh look, there's a picture of M'chell in the chapter on 'Bestiality'!"

GregMan said...

Honestly? This guy doesn't look like he could smash his d!ck through a wet kleenex. With help.

Submariner said...

heh heh, heh heh...

molson said...

So that's what anatomically correct sex looks like.

Anonymous said...

Immediately after telling The New Republic he'd skull f*ck a terrorist to prove he's anti-terrorist, Spencer Ackerman takes a crash course to learn how to get laid.

Vinney

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Why does this book have words; I wonder what they say?"

JohnS1959 said...

Spencer desperately needed advice but he found he was unable to operate the antiquated technology...

Dr. Doom said...

Why liberalism is a self correcting problem...

Submariner said...

"Me time" in 3... 2... 1...