1. An elderly woman was killed today in a freak accident when a basket of arugula fell from a passing presidential helicopter.
2. "Dammit, Aunt Jeanne, that stuff is supposed to be medicinal!"
3. "M'Chel, I am sorry I mistook your dress for a picnic blanket. How long do I have to stand in your garden like this."
4. Not only was the Obama's gift basket of arugula an insult to the Norwegian Prime Minister, but the method of delivery also left something to be desired.
5. Shirley Sherrod said, "I can't help you, why don't you go seek help from your own kind ... the other chalk-faced whores."
Best of Jack Reacher
I see the "Green Economy" is about as productive as I'd expected.
Best of Vinney
"Hi, welcome to The Olive Garden. My name is Beth and I'll be your waitress tonight. Would you like some salad"?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Everyone remarked as to how lifelike taxidermist Smith's scarecrow was, yet it took over a month before anyone asked why Edna hadn't returned from a visit to her mother's.
Best of dadoctah
"Who throws salad? Honestly?"
Best of mega
Hillary realizing she'd been played and was a humiliated husk of her former self, plastering a smile on her face, Round 1,329.
Best of JohnS1959
"No it isn't really that difficult", said the Secretary of State, "I have many years of practice handling basket cases and vegetables".
Best of Submariner
How to deliver arugula to the Oval Office, Lesson 1...