Friday, July 30, 2010

Darth Safeschoolczar Makes a Friend

John Schneider

1. "I like you, youngling. I think I'll kill you last."

2. "This costume is a stifling hot sauna of plastic and polyester but seeing your tight little ass makes it all worthwhile, Billy."

3. Within the ranks of the Imperial Master-Youngling Love Association, no one really noticed Vader's evil.

4. "Y'ever see a grown man naked? Or, at least, the charred and dismembered torso of a grown man naked?"

5. Giving out participation medals at the Imperial Special Olympics was among Lord Vader's most loathsome duties.

22 comments:

Submariner said...

I'm not really an evil magician warload of the stars, but I do play one on television...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

After the message from our one remaining sponsor, Keith Olberman exposes Dick Cheney's recruitment trip on behalf of the Young Republicans...

Submariner said...

Screw you; where's Princess Lay-ya?

Submariner said...

You would make a fine R6D9, youngling. Come to my pod at noon.

Submariner said...

Pardon me, youngling, but have you heard about Ron Paul?

Submariner said...

If you'll go find Mike Tyson in a sombrero, you can help us do the old "3 Amigo's" schtick.

Anonymous said...

"Tommy, if you good, I'll show you my light sabre."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"Son, has anyone ever talking to you about the opportunities at Amway"?

Vinney

HLam said...

"Hey, Shoeshine Boy, shine my helmet will ya? Yes, both of them."

Jack Reacher said...

"Pay your taxes when you grow up, Billy. 50-ish government union retirees will be counting on you."

Jack Reacher said...

His voice can cause children to forget their past. He is---The Most Interesting Man In The Universe.

Passionate Conservative said...

Dammit, kid. I give you one job, and that's to go to the concession stand and get me some skittles. What do you bring me? M&M's????

Passionate Conservative said...

No, kid, I really am a Phoenix cop. Now you don't look like you're from Alderann. Where's your papers?

dadoctah said...

"Actually, you *are* a little short for a storm trooper, but what the hell...."

dadoctah said...

I've got a ba-a-ad feeling about this....

Carpe Phlogiston said...

And today's special guest Vader is...
a) Barney Frank
b) Mark Foley
c) Father O'Flanagan

-OR-

Luke, is that you? Oops, sorry. Damn helmet visor needs cleaning again.

-OR-

Worst Galactic Pick-up Lines
Would you like to see with my light saber?
Wanna to hold a hairy wookie?
How's about we play catch with my space balls?

Spin said...

Twink trolling in a galaxy far,far away.

dadoctah said...

"Kid, you wouldn't belie-e-eve how long I can hold my breath!"

Submariner said...

Here's the keys, kid. Park the Tye fighter. There's 20 credits for you if you give it a good polishing... Where's Skywalker?




v word - endow - yep. Blogger is not only sentient but perverted.

molson said...

Beware helmeted Sith lords bearing candy.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Typo Dept - Typing and chewing gum simultaneously is a bad idea, Carpe

Worst Galactic Pick-up Lines
Would you like to hold my light saber?
Wanna pet a hairy wookie's bald head?
How's about we play catch with my space balls?