Monday, July 26, 2010

Brain Freeze in July

Brender

1. Hmm, I guess the Iranians must be butchering folk again.

2. "And counting the guy who cuts the milk truck driver's hair, this cone represents 47 jobs created or saved."

3. He really wanted a double chocolate cone, but he was terrified that FoxNews would call him a racist.

4. Having learned his table manners at wine-tastings at Bill Ayers's house, Obama swishes the ice cream in his mouth then spits it on an American flag.

5. "But the Teleprompter hasn't said to start licking yet."

Best of Double the U
"I know I have taxed everything so much that ice cream is no longer affordable, besides ice cream is terrible for your health and I run health care now, but let me tell you, on a hot July day, there is nothing better!"

Best of JohnS1959
"Now kids", said the President to Mrs. Jones' ninth grade Free Enterprise class, "think of this cone as your typical small business in America".

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
"Isn't that just what I've been telling you? You can't go for an ice cream without them asking for your papers. They just asked for mine, and I'm still not showing them."

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Yes, it's true - in order to pay for ObamCare and my ice cream, I must repeal the Bush tax cuts."

Best of HLam
"I asked for Arugula flavored and they gave me French Vanilla. Who the hell do they think I am, John Kerry?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Ah, my little chilly friend. I shall bow to you in ways that man has never bowed to others ever before!"

Best of marco
"Sorry to take your, um, ice cream, Billy, but I, er, need to redistribute it to a community I'm organizing." Obama turns a simple photo op in middle America into a teachable moment.

Best of Vinney
"Today I signed an Executive Order so that the government has bought Baskin-Robbins and will shut down 23 unproductive flavors. Secretaries Geitner and Sebelius believe chocolate, vanilla and strawberry are enough."

Best of GregMan
"Mmm, this tastes just like the ice cream Frank Marshall Davis used to buy me so I wouldn't tell my grandparents what he did to me."

Best of Submariner
Let's, um, say that this ice, uh, cream represents your income. Then my, um, administration's spending policy, um, would have to be rep, um, resented by the, uh, uuum, sun...

Best of mega
The look on Obamas face said it all. "WHITE ice cream?"

Best of blue
"Lick This, Republican Swine!!"

26 comments:

Double the U said...

"I know I have taxed everything so much that ice cream is no longer affordable, besides ice cream is terrible for your health and I run health care now, but let me tell you, on a hot July day, there is nothing better!"

JohnS1959 said...

Mr. Obama received his tres leches cone from the undocumented street vendor, bowed deeply, and apologized for Americans everywhere (especially those in Arizona).

Editorial note: Oh Sorry - that wasn't particularly funny - accurate but not funny...

JohnS1959 said...

"Now kids", said the President to Mrs. Jones' ninth grade Free Enterprise class, "think of this cone as your typical small business in America".

sixdegreesofblondness said...

"Isn't that just what I've been telling you? You can't go for an ice cream without them asking for your papers. They just asked for mine, and I'm still not showing them."

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Yes, it's true - in order to pay for ObamCare and my ice cream, I must repeal the Bush tax cuts."

HLam said...

"I asked for Arugula flavored and they gave me French Vanilla. Who the hell do they think I am, John Kerry?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Ah, my little chilly friend. I shall bow to you in ways that man has never bowed to others ever before!"

Anonymous said...

He'd do anything for food. Congressman Jerry Nadler gets his reward for voting for Obamacare.

Vinney

marco said...

"Sorry to take your, um, ice cream, Billy, but I, er, need to redistribute it to a community I'm organizing." Obama turns a simple photo op in middle America into a teachable moment.

David said...

"Are you sure this is what the small people eat?"

molson said...

You didn't spit on this now did you Glenn?

dadoctah said...

"Do you have it in watermelon?" ATDHE

Anonymous said...

"Today I signed an Executive Order so that the government has bought Baskin-Robbins and will shut down 23 unproductive flavors. Secretaries Geitner and Sebelius believe chocolate, vanilla and strawberry are enough."

Vinney

GregMan said...

"Mmm, this tastes just like the ice cream Frank Marshall Davis used to buy me so I wouldn't tell my grandparents what he did to me."

GregMan said...

Unfortunately, without his TelePrompTer for guidance, The Lightbringer stuck the ice cream up his nose instead of in his mouth.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama Thawtbubble - Unlike that putz Tiger Woods, I don't have to get down on my knees to lick spilled ice creme off the ground, I can balance mine in the cone!

-OR-

Good News- The slow-to-respond Secret Service actually stopped an intruder from tackling Obamalama.
Funny News- Turns out, the manager of the Frosty Creme was just trying to knock the e.coli-tainted treat out of O's hands before he could lick it.
[Darn illegal hires who don't wash after using the potty, someone ought to do something about them. Oh wait... Arizona is and Obamalama is suing them. IRONY!]

Capt. Queeg said...

ORA: "How'd you like some ice cream, Doc?"

Submariner said...

Let's, um, say that this ice, uh, cream represents your income. Then my, um, administration's spending policy, um, would have to be rep, um, resented by the, uh, uuum, sun...

Submariner said...

I'm going to use this to plug a big, black hole. M'Chel?

Submariner said...

This tastes like home grown. I specifically asked for the Maui Wowie...

molson said...

No danger of a brain freeze here... unless he shoves it up his rocky road.

mega said...

Obama's tactics and tricks to ram through the Climate Change bill got more pathetic and desperate with every passing day.

Kaptain Krude said...

"You liar! This doesn't taste the least little bit like aragula!"

Submariner said...

I didn't know that Ben and Jerry's even HAD a "Nappy Newport" flavor!


ATDHE-A

mega said...

The look on Obamas face said it all. "WHITE ice cream?"

blue said...

"Lick This, Republican Swine!!"