1. "I can't believe Bella chose Jacob."
2. "But... but... John Edwards is GOOD!"
3. "Spencer Ackerman stole my Dating and Sexuality book!"
4. Sometimes wedgies feel so good that you just have to cry.
5. "Hey, there's no reason to cry. You're gonna be the most popular boy at Central Lock-Up."
30 comments:
"Want your man card back, wiener? Join the Marines or something. It'll be waiting for you down at the police station."
"So you're on some list with some clown named Ackerman who talks about throwing people through plate-glass windows.. Remind me again why I give a damn!"
"You have the right to remain clueless. Anything really stupid you say or do may appear on You-Tube..."
Good thing Miranda warnings keep up with the times.
"MMMMOOOOOOOMMMMMMMIEEEEEEEEE!!"
"Buy a raffle ticket to halt the spread of metrosexualism? The balls you save could very well be your own!"
Mamby-Pamby land....
"But I'll miss the return trip to LA on the SEIU bus......"
Ethan questions his open borders commitment after learning that the local lockup is filled with MS-13 members.
But...but, I'm Anthony Weiner's love child! You can't arrest meeeeee!
You sure got a purdy mouf boy.
Jackbooted thug technique #481 - Place jackboot squarely on detainee's bare toes, press down firmly while giving appearance of listening compassionately.
-OR-
wahahahahahahahahaha Ohmygawd Ocifer Dingleberry giggles I'm sowwy! hooha whew You mean this lololololol isn't a medical marijuana protest? weeeheeheeheeeeee
-OR-
I can't stop making this face! Long ago, my granny warned me that it could freeze this way... and it DID!
The X-Men's Banshee demonstrates his sonic scream for the first time, attracting the unwanted attention of a member of the Village People.
Turn your head and cough
Over 90% of police agree - the new wrist-to-testicle plastic cuff minimizes disorderly conduct. Manufacturer does strongly recommend adding a rodeo course to police academy training to eliminate any "first arrest" fumbling.
-OR-
Sonny, I'm guessing your old man never explained the three ways you can lose your virginity because he had hopes you'd never wind up in jail.
-OR-
Profiling? Schmofiling! I ask everyone if they're legal... and you were walking and quacking like a wetback duck, Mr. Wilhelm Johanssen, IF that's your real name!
Winston Boffenheimer squeals with delight upon hearing that the stories of jailhouse gang rape are all true.
Cop Rock 2010 breaks out in an outstanding rendition of Mark Lindsay's Arizona in the season opener.
I gotta peeeeeeeeeeee!
♪ and I-ai-aiiiiiiiiiiii -
will always love, you-ou-ouuuuuuuuu ♪ ♫
Bush caused it.
Racism!
You have no compassion.
Don't separate families.
I want my Maypo!
"But I'm a rich little trust-fund left-wing douchenozzle and my mommy says I don't HAVE to obey the law!!! Waaahhh!!!"
Well, we know where pu$$y boy was when his laxative kicked in, now don't we?
"Come see the violence inherent in the system! Waaahhh!!!"
"Hey wait a minute", thought Bobby as reality finally set in, "All these illegal aliens around here and I'm the one getting arrested? NO FAIR"
"there, there young man, don't cry, did you forget that Sheriff Joe makes you wear pink underwear?"
Oh quit your crying kid...I've only got the baton half-way up your ass.
They killed, Kenny, d@mmit!
ORA?
[narrating] I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed.
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!
But, but, but SHE taunted ME!
Sir did you not see the signs that say "No mooks"?
Even as a youngster, Ed Schultz knew what he wanted to do in life.
Vinney
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