Friday, June 18, 2010

Stick your hand in the beaver

N.O'Really?

1. "Hey, Kids! I'm Twinky! The Submissive Beaver Bottom! Today, Me and My friend the Safe Schools Czar are going to teach you all about fisting!"

2. "And this is what I do to stinkin' Beaver Jews!" Mel Gibson exclaimed.

3. "And then Obama did this to the CEO of BP," Joe Barton still fails to arouse anyone's sympathy.

4. And here is an example of a photo not to use on your Match-dot-com ad.

5. As ObamaCare became more and more costly, the quality of amputee prosthetics diminished considerably.

Best of Rodney Dill
I'm alright
Don't nobody worry 'bout me
You got to gimme a fight
Why don't you just let me be

Best of dub
In Richard Gere's house, small rodent fists you.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
IMDB Lethal Weapon 17- With Murtaugh dead of laxative abuse, Lorna now gay and living in San Francisco, Leo's parts strewn across 3 states after he ticked off a biker gang... at 68, Riggs must partner with a handpuppet to infiltrate a yamaka factory suspected of using nonKosher beaver pelts.
SPOILER: Warehouse is boobytrapped with exploding dreidels!
GOOF: Beavers can't really speak Hebrew
QUOTE: "Sorry Rabbi, the beaver dared me to say that."

Best of prince of leaves
But "Castor" would be Gibson's final and most bizarre vanity pic yet, with a cast of cheaply-made animatronic beavers and a subtitled script written entirely in chirps, grunts, and whistles.

Best of Double the U
"IT IS THE BEAVER SCREAMING ABOUT THE DAMN JEWS, not me!" Mel Gibson gets himself in more trouble.

Best of Matt the K
Mad Max Beyond Muppetdome

Best of mega
"Hi, I'm Mel"
"And I'm Twinkie!"
(in unison): "The Jews killed Jesus!"

Best of Jack Reacher
In the list of suspects who might have crashed Charlie Sheen's car (This time), Mel Gibson ranked somewhat higher than a beaver puppet.

Best of dadoctah
Uh, Mel, I'm pretty sure that's *not* What Women Want.

Best of Adjustah
"Sorry, Mel, but I *think* it's pronounced, "Bieber'..."

Best of Rodney Dill
...and then Statler and Waldorf's heads exploded.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Looks like this is the only beaver Mel has been getting close to lately.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

Mel would use Bucky The Catholic Beaver to illustrate to the kids precepts of Catholicism, except for marriage.

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...


I'm alright
Don't nobody worry 'bout me
You got to gimme a fight
Why don't you just let me be

dub said...

In Richard Gere's house, small rodent fists you.

Jay Guevara said...

So it's _Mel Gibson_ who's controlling Obama?

dadoctah said...

"Hey, how come you're hanging around with that pig?"

"It's a beaver."

"I was *talking* to the beaver."

dadoctah said...

Canadian content: ur doin it rong.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

IMDB Lethal Weapon 17- With Murtaugh dead of laxative abuse, Lorna now gay and living in San Francisco, Leo's parts strewn across 3 states after he ticked off a biker gang... at 68, Riggs must partner with a handpuppet to infiltrate a yamaka factory suspected of using nonKosher beaver pelts.
SPOILER: Warehouse is boobytrapped with exploding dreidels!
GOOF: Beavers can't really speak Hebrew
QUOTE: "Sorry Rabbi, the beaver dared me to say that."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

CHIPS CruiserCam™
Sgt. Rodney Dinkmuller will testify that during Mel's 894th arrest for DUI, he threatened and cowed an entire SWAT team with a loaded beaver.
OTOH, Mel will claim he was misunderstood, that he only told the cops he and the beaver were both pretty loaded.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Seen in Vanity Fair
Confirmed... Mel is writing, directing and starring in a remake of Jimmy Stewart's HARVEY! It might be poetic license, or alcohol, or the voices in his head, but he's decided to rename the movie Buckey.

prince of leaves said...

But "Castor" would be Gibson's final and most bizarre vanity pic yet, with a cast of cheaply-made animatronic beavers and a subtitled script written entirely in chirps, grunts, and whistles.

Double the U said...

"IT IS THE BEAVER SCREAMING ABOUT THE DAMN JEWS, not me!" Mel Gibson gets himself in more trouble.

Matt the K said...

Yeah, really funny Mel, "you just had it stuffed".

Matt the K said...

Mad Max Beyond Muppetdome

Matt the K said...

"Find my keys and we'll drive out."

James said...

Didn't know Obama is actually into fisting.. but I guess the BP CEO deserves little sympathy.

Kaptain Krude said...

Worst. Ventriloquist Act. EVER.

molson said...

FREEDOM... from sanity.

Anonymous said...

#2 is wrong.

This is what Mel wants to do to Jewish beavers...

mega said...

"Hi, I'm Mel"
"And I'm Twinkie!"
(in unison): "The Jews killed Jesus!"

mega said...

Old skool: ACORN finds two more voters
New skool: Dems get 12 more votes for Hispanics

Jack Reacher said...

For some, rehab is more a journey than a destination.

Jack Reacher said...

"I told you the beaver has been drinking! Not me!"

Jack Reacher said...

In the list of suspects who might have crashed Charlie Sheen's car (This time), Mel Gibson ranked somewhat higher than a beaver puppet.

mega said...

"You want a million dollars to release my kid? Okay...OK...let me tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to give this stuffed animal to any citizen that finds you and KILLS you." The original script for Ransom was much more interesting and surreal, before the Big Hollywood producers got their grubby profit-over-art hands on it.

dadoctah said...

One's a forest-destroying fur-bearing rodent. The other one's a beaver.

dadoctah said...

I was already a little leery of the new daycare center when the arts-n-crafts instructor turned out to be John Malkovich. But puppet time clinched it for me.

dadoctah said...

Uh, Mel, I'm pretty sure that's *not* What Women Want.

Adjustah said...

"Sorry, Mel, but I *think* it's pronounced, "Bieber'..."

Rodney Dill said...


I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK...

Rodney Dill said...

...and then Statler and Waldorf's heads exploded.

Mell Voted For Obama said...

Simaese Aussi Leftist Assholes!

Not seperated at birth!

The puppet is not the only one in this photo with something up it's ass.

Rodney Dill said...

What I wanna know is how does he actually sing both parts of a round.